Things in your Civ 5 games that make you laugh

[Primacide]

1.) Inca + Kilimanjaro, then watch that dude in a loincloth with a paper sling outrun a squad of horses. Or tanks. Or with just a few roads exit the range of a bomber in a single turn.

2.) ranged gatling guns and machine guns "firing over" my troops and hitting the enemy on the other side of them.

Man I never really thought about this! Talk about advanced ballistics. Can you imagine the radio chatter from the troops?

"Ok. Don't move guys. We're going to machine gun and bazooka over your heads. Doooooooooon't move..."

 

[Sedwick]

2.) ranged gatling guns and machine guns "firing over" my troops and hitting the enemy on the other side of them.

I thought machine guns had only a 1-tile range? Or can a promotion fix that?

 

[themathmajician]

When you're up against a mountain range, and religious pressure starts coming from the other side of the mountain from a civ you haven't met yet.

 

[FaohKi]

I thought machine guns had only a 1-tile range? Or can a promotion fix that?

If you pick Accuracy I, II and III or Barrage I, II and III you can choose 'Logistics' (additional attack) and 'Range' (+1 Range.)

Before unlock Logistics and Range, you have to complete either Accuracy or Barrage for your missile units.

 

[Sedwick]

--Pop-up note: "An unmet player has lost their original Capital. Genghis Khan controls the most original Capitals. (2)" Well, thanks for telling me Khan's in the game!

--Plotting unit movement: 5 turns to one tile, move destination over one tile, path goes over water, would now be 7 turns.

 

[Averylongname]

I had a game immortal, Swedish. I had Alabama and BrandenburgGate and of course barracks, armory and military academy. I tech for rifles and pile up like 10 to 12 Swedish UB riflemen, and I can have them start with medic 2 or cover 2 together with march. Then I quickly tech for plastic, upgrade them to infantry. Those things are absolutely indestructible, heals 15 every turns in enemies territory! And since I'm far ahead in tech, because its immortal and it's tech for plastic its optimal tech route, so the ai are very behind, still using riflemen. I won a domination victory with them alone, not even a single artillery or any ranged unit.

 

[Fierro]

I had Alabama and BrandenburgGate

That makes me laugh too.

 

[RuleroftheHex]

I had a game immortal, Swedish. I had Alabama and BrandenburgGate and of course barracks, armory and military academy. I tech for rifles and pile up like 10 to 12 Swedish UB riflemen, and I can have them start with medic 2 or cover 2 together with march. Then I quickly tech for plastic, upgrade them to infantry. Those things are absolutely indestructible, heals 15 every turns in enemies territory! And since I'm far ahead in tech, because its immortal and it's tech for plastic its optimal tech route, so the ai are very behind, still using riflemen. I won a domination victory with them alone, not even a single artillery or any ranged unit.

Now try this with a Khan gifted to you by a CS. It's hilarious; your Caroleans heal 25 per turn in enemy territory.

On the topic of funny things, I find it funny when the science advisor tells you "If we research writing, we will get access to the Library, Paper Maker, and Royal Library." It's even better when you aren't China or Assyria.

 

[Primacide]

I saw Paris down to four workable tiles. Poor fella spawned next to Ghengis who citadel bombed a city like I've never seen. There were five (!) surrounding Paris which was a size 7 city on turn 300.

Take that France!

 

[chris.]

"An enemy has been spotted near (weak, unguarded city)

"oh god! OH GOD!" (Looks) *Enemy worker*

 

[reddishrecue]

When an allied city state conquers a enemy civilization's last city and destroys them for me.

 

[Sedwick]

...I had Alabama and BrandenburgGate...

That makes me laugh too.

OK, now someone has to name their city Alabama and build Alhambra in it.

 

[Biologist]

OK, now someone has to name their city Alabama and build Alhambra in it.

Sweet home Alabhambra!