Things in your Civ 5 games that make you laugh

[lockandload]

I'm about to settle with a settler and then the ai declares war and tries to steal my settler with a scout. I end up chasing the AI scout and finally get to recover my scout. The funny part was when the scout failed to run away and got killed by some local barbarians.

Chasing enemies into barbs in the early game is hilarious. The clean up crew.

On the flip side, I cannot DOW anyone without a barb shows up at my cap.

 

[Primacide]

I have to chuckle when the AI comes to me and says, "hey you wanna kill Boudica?" You say no (cause she's halfway around the world and its turn ten). Next turn, the AI makes a DOF with Boudica. When you offer to pay them to go to war, it's, "I'm afraid I can't do that because we are in love."

 

[Convict]

I always laugh when the AI comes up with "I found your submission to the World Congress troubling. I hope this doesn't lead to future conflict'.

This is just after you have given them a hiding in a war and half their cities are yours.

And it is even funnier when you have not even made a submission.

 

[Krajzen]

One of the angry greetings of Oda Nobunaga is him saying - with clenched fists and passionate disdain in his voice - something I hear as 'ooo... suchka!'

In Polish language that means something very close to English 'bi*ch'

 

[Walter R]

Monty!

You just can't help liking the guy, even though he's a bloody nuisance early game; and if you wipe him out you get his hilarious parting shot!

 

[stormtrooper412]

Ramkamtrollface: Ah, I see you're friends with Brazil, we have a makeshift alliance etc etc

2 turns later

Siam has denounced Brazil

 

[reddishrecue]

I guess what made me laugh in civilization is that I didn't have a pantheon worked after i had a pantheon citizen in a size 2 city. It was funny because I didn't work the pantheon since 1 city didn't have enough citizens converted to the pantheon. I had religious idles and it didn't work.. what was funnier was that later I eventually captured a unused great prophet which allowed me to bring the great prophet to a city and then started my religion even after islam had removed the beginning pantheon.

 

[binhthuy71]

Early game. Scout finds a ruin with an adjacent Barb camp. Scout gets terribly beaten up by Barb, but it pops the ruin.which reveals signs of Barbarian activity. Oh, thank you for that.

 

[FaohKi]

Ramkamtrollface: Ah, I see you're friends with Brazil, we have a makeshift alliance etc etc

2 turns later

Siam has denounced Brazil

Ramkhamhaeng is probably the most annoying leader in entire civ with Maria I and Alex. Ramkhamhaeng is backstabbing me almost all the time. In my Arabian game, he is closest ally of mine but another civ shared an info from his spy that says "Ramkhamhaeng plotting against you!" Seriously Ramkha? We are friends since the early game and have same friends, same enemies etc. etc. yet, he's plotting against me.

 

[Peter Sagan]

Plotting against you doesn't automatically mean he is going to attack you. But nou doubt about him being a deceptive leader.

 

[FaohKi]

Plotting against you doesn't automatically mean he is going to attack you. But nou doubt about him being a deceptive leader.

Yea, know that but I think he will do his "job" soon...

 

[Nick31]

It's been said before, and I suppose it's controversial, but I really love when the Diety AI starts trash talking me like some cocky teenager with a head start.

I'm in a Diety game with the Ottomans as my bullying neighbor, I had to settle a second city towards him because there was no where else and he promptly DOW. Problem is that city is inbetween two Mountains and has a river around it, so it's damn near impregnable. After he loses his army slamming towards me I countered to his city with some composites (not enough to take it, but enough to form a kill wall if units come towards me.

Eventually, I got a GG that I promptly used to invade and steal two tiles right next to his city, including some tasty Cocoa. For the rest of the game he has been VERY Salty , even though he eventually citadeled back.

The Hostile screen is hilarious, particularly when he's about to receive an artillery rush but thinks that because of the demographics he's untouchable and taunting me every five turns for being a weakling. Hostile AI is fun.

 

[Primacide]

I just found Spain on turn 110ish. She has mt Sinai in the third ring of an expo and its unclaimed.

That's not funny, that's just weird prioritizing for city tiles.

What's funny is that the last religion just disappeared and she didn't found.

Muhahahahaaaaa...

 

[Sedwick]

AI civ proposes deal, you change nothing and hit "Accept".

"This deal will work."

I should hope so, it's your deal!

 

[joncnunn]

AI civ proposes deal, you change nothing and hit "Accept".

"This deal will work."

I should hope so, it's your deal!

There have been times though it which the AI responded to this with something like the trade would not be in our favor, which is even funnier.

 

[Uighur_Caesar]

I once converted Gandhi's holy city. Like 15 turns later he comes with an army of 10 war elephants and destroys me. I learned to leave Gandhi alone and let Attila or Genghis kill him for me.

 

[ToborajniN]

Had Spain wander off to the completely other side of an entire large Pangea map and forward settle Polynesia. (No natural wonder or anything, just a tundra city with like 1 whale in it) It was at that time her third city, which made it all the more weird. Polynesia got super pissed ofc and decided it was time for revenge! So he went south and settled a nice little city for himself,just outside Attila's cap. Even that was really damn far away from his own lands.

Sometimes I really don't understand the AI settlement programming..

 

[FaohKi]

Once, while playing as Arabia, I settled my 3rd city between my first and second city and both Iroquois and alex warned me to not settle nearby them. Funny thing is, both of them were on the edge of the west of the map and far away from me. Weird guys...

 

[ShakaKhan]

1.) Inca + Kilimanjaro, then watch that dude in a loincloth with a paper sling outrun a squad of horses. Or tanks. Or with just a few roads exit the range of a bomber in a single turn.

2.) ranged gatling guns and machine guns "firing over" my troops and hitting the enemy on the other side of them.

 

[SeedenGreedens]

what made me laugh sometimes are the crossbowmen that have the ranged promotion that makes some fortified cities drop their defenses after a really long time. Each crossbowman takes away 4 or 6 hp from the city's defenses but with many crossbowmen, the attack really adds up even if the city heals right away.