What if Civilization was created by...

[dragonprobably]

America: There would be no other Civilizations.

Aztecs: The Spanish Civilization wouldn't exist.

Babylon: Babylon would never be corruption because Hammurabi's Code prevents it.

Maoist China: There is no corruption under communism, towns with small populations can create Steel without access to the necessary resources, and universities don't exist.

Egypt: All workers would look Jewish.

England: America and France don't exist and Tea is the resource that produces the most happiness and commerce.

France: All civilizations are not superior to France.

Germany: Once defeated, your conquerors will allow one half of your civilization to continue being a country, while the other half is still a part of your conquerors. Then after the fall of your conqueror, your civilization will be one again.

Greece: In the modern age, you always have zero gold and your gold per turn will always be in the negative zone.

India: War is fought without units.

Iroquois: The Hiawatha leaderhead will be the right skin color.

Japan: All units are big head-ed, big eye-ed teenagers in battle armor. Unless they're a girl, then they're going to be half-naked.

Persia: Sparta is not city of the Greeks, in fact, it's nowhere in the game.

Rome: When your Republic is at it's height, the leader will change the government to facism with absolutely no Anarchy. Also, barbarian uprisings are easy to defeat.

Russia: Even though your civilization is one of the biggest in the world, it still hasn't caught technologically with the other country's. After the discovery of Communism, research is increased.

Zulu: England does not exist.

Arabia: After you adopt a religion, it is required that all of the believers of the religion go to the religion's holy city once in their lifetime.

Celts: See Zulu.

Carthage: Rome does not exist.

Spain: Everyone believes in Christianity, everyone who doesn't is tortured to death. Also, any 's' sounds are pronounced like 'th'.

Ottomans: It's Istanbul, not Constantinople.

Vikings: Raiding cities increases your culture.

Mongolia: Everyone sees your leader as a villain, even though he was a good guy.

North Korea: You can only play as North Korea and you must conquer the other civilizatons, which you can do easily because your civilization is the strongest. America is the weakest civilization, even if they have more soldiers. Communism is the only government you can adopt.

South Korea: Communism doesn't exist.

Sumeria: Gilgamesh (Sumeria's king unit) is the most powerful unit.

Portugal: Your civilization always gets the least land.

Hittites: There are always three men in your chariots.

Inca: The Incans start with 1 billion gold. Spain doesn't exist.

Maya: All the citizens outside of the Mayan empire are worried when 2012 comes around.

The Byzantines: It's Constantinople, not Istanbul.

The Netherlands: Tulips add the most commerce.

 

[choxorn]

Complaints about your list:

India: War is fought without units.

Why?

Japan: All units are big head-ed, big eye-ed teenagers in battle armor. Unless they're a girl, then they're going to be half-naked.

Anime girls are just as likely to have big heads, big eyes, and battle armor as anime guys, but I guess you're mostly right about the half-naked part.

Persia: Spata is not city of the Greeks, in fact, it's nowhere in the game.

IT'S... SPELLED.... SPARTA!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Arabia: After you adopt a religion, it is required that all of the believers of the religion go to the religion's holy city once in their lifetime.

Why make a list of Civ 3 Civilizations that requires something that only exists in Civ 4?

Spain: Everyone believes in Christianity, everyone who doesn't is tortured to death. Also, any 's' sounds are pronounced like 'th'.

See above comment.

Mongolia: Everyone sees your leader as a villain, even though he was a good guy.

Genghis Khan wasn't that nice. Okay, maybe compared to some other rulers of his time, but still.

North Korea: You can only play as North Korea and you must conquer the other civilizatons, which you can do easily because your civilization is the strongest. America is the weakest civilization, even if they have more soldiers. Communism is the only government you can adopt.

minitru refd unpersons, misspoke "North Korea" instead of "Best Korea" doubleplusungood minitru rectify fullwise

Hittites: There are always three men in your chariots.

Already true, for them at least. I know the Hittites are obscure and you haven't heard of them, but that's the best you can come up with? Really?

Inca: The Incans start with 1 billion gold. Portugal doesn't exist.

Why Portugal?

 

[Daedwartin]

A 1984 nation: you don't need to have this made. Just play civ 2 for ten years, all the way into the 3700's...The Celtic Socialist Republic has always been at war with the Holy American RepublicHoly State of New Ragnos.

Spoiler :

Convientantly forgets the Existance of The Sioux Nation, the only democractic nation in game

 

[CocoIsKing28]

Stephen Colbert: America is always the best civ, except it isn't really the best civ. When leaders demand from you, you get negative diplo points even if you accept. Your religion and your civics aren't actually your real ones, but you act like they are. Anything ending in "rt" is pronounced "r".

 

[dragonprobably]

Why?

India declared independence without any violence inflicted on the British.

Anime girls are just as likely to have big heads, big eyes, and battle armor as anime guys,

I know, I've watched anime before. I just wanted to make social commentary.

IT'S... SPELLED.... SPARTA!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Woops, wasnt paeing atention two mi spelling.

Why make a list of Civ 3 Civilizations that requires something that only exists in Civ 4?

It was the only way I could make anything clever.

Genghis Khan wasn't that nice. Okay, maybe compared to some other rulers of his time, but still.

Read this: http://www.cracked.com/article_17205_6-historical-villains-who-were-actually-ok-guys.html

minitru refd unpersons, misspoke "North Korea" instead of "Best Korea" doubleplusungood minitru rectify fullwise

choxorn, that made my day.

I know the Hittites are obscure and you haven't heard of them,

I have heard of them, I even had to study them for a school project. Don't come to stupid conclusions like that, it makes you look like a [enter swear word here].

but that's the best you can come up with? Really?

Sorry, I couldn't think of anything funny. If you can think of something funnier, please say it, I'd like to hear.

Why Portugal?

Whoops, I meant Spain.

 

[choxorn]

India also fights wars with Pakistan or China every two weeks or so.

Okay, Genghis was nice to places he already ruled. To places he was conquering.... not so much. Yes, he's not as barbaric as he's made out to be. Dude still pillaged most of Asia and killed millions.

Not saying he was Hitler/Stalin/Mao/Insert Other Evil World Leader of Choice, but seriously, he wasn't a nice guy.

The Hittites thing was a hipster joke, my apologies.

 

[dragonprobably]

India also fights wars with Pakistan or China every two weeks or so.

I know, Gandhi is probably rolling in is his grave.

Okay, Genghis was nice to places he already ruled. To places he was conquering.... not so much. Yes, he's not as barbaric as he's made out to be. Dude still pillaged most of Asia and killed millions.

Not saying he was Hitler/Stalin/Mao/Insert Other Evil World Leader of Choice, but seriously, he wasn't a nice guy.

I honestly believe Genghis was both good and evil.

The Hittites thing was a hipster joke, my apologies.

My apologies for not getting that.

 

[W|M]

The Roman one should be that Carthage doesn't exist.

 

[Daedwartin]

The Roman one should be that Carthage doesn't exist.

No. The Roman one is where the roman empire never loses, but sometimes a region rebels, but they crush it. If it was The region of Judea, you would mistake it for a major war, as it be thy hard. You then build a Triumphant Arch to celebrate your victory. It also make said guy emperor. Also world conquest. Also Carthage if conquered is not recorded in end game charts.

 

[dragonprobably]

The Roman one should be that Carthage doesn't exist.

That's actually not a bad idea.

 

[strijder20]

No. The Roman one is where the roman empire never loses, but sometimes a region rebels, but they crush it. If it was The region of Judea, you would mistake it for a major war, as it be thy hard. You then build a Triumphant Arch to celebrate your victory. It also make said guy emperor. Also world conquest. Also Carthage if conquered is not recorded in end game charts.

The Romans never 'mistook' that war as a major one. More like a good excuse to get all that gold to Rome.

 

[Daedwartin]

The Romans never 'mistook' that war as a major one. More like a good excuse to get all that gold to Rome.

The First Jewish-Roman War, also known as the Great Revolt, required a entire legion be sent to stop it. The Jewish actually among all rebellions put up the most resistance. Despite infighting. Had the Jewish not been infighting, you would have needed quite a few legions to quench it. Also, it was followed by another rebellion in Cyprus, Libya, Judea. Egpyt, Mesopotamia, And Sryia by the Jewish only a few more years later. Then in the second century, a third rebellion occurred. Also, it got Titus a Triumphal Arch, something the other rebellions didn't get the general in charge of stopping it. Their is a reason getting 2/3 UHV in Rhyes gets you one.

 

[choxorn]

So basically, the various parts of the Roman Empire either rebelled or fought civil wars every few years?

 

[CocoIsKing28]

The First Jewish-Roman War, also known as the Great Revolt, required a entire legion be sent to stop it. The Jewish actually among all rebellions put up the most resistance. Despite infighting. Had the Jewish not been infighting, you would have needed quite a few legions to quench it. Also, it was followed by another rebellion in Cyprus, Libya, Judea. Egpyt, Mesopotamia, And Sryia by the Jewish only a few more years later. Then in the second century, a third rebellion occurred. Also, it got Titus a Triumphal Arch, something the other rebellions didn't get the general in charge of stopping it. Their is a reason getting 2/3 UHV in Rhyes gets you one.

Yes the infighting was quite bad. I mean, you had the Judean People's Front, the People's Front of Judea, Judean Popular People's Front, etc.

 

[Alexius08]

Muammar Qaddafi: All civ decals are monochromatic, and he expects you to be able to distinguish one shade of a certain color from another.

Carl Sagan: A very detailed space race. Apollo > Voyager > ? > Alpha Centauri Colonists

 

[Daedwartin]

The Doctor: timely wimly ball?

 

[Phrossack]

Total War: the game is released with horrible bugs and needs multiple patches and/or mods to make it playable. Diplomacy consists entirely of all factions declaring war on the player for no reason. At least the battles are real-time awesomeness.

Microsoft: the game is released with bugs, and you have to pay to fix them. It will randomly crash, and again you must pay to fix it.

Itunes: the game's great but will often update without warning or permission. The update patches solve nothing but delete all your saved games.

 

[W|M]

Total War: The game is released with horrible bugs and needs multiple patches and/or mods to make it playable. Diplomacy consists entirely of all civs declaring war on the player for no reason. At least the battles are real-time awesomeness.

iTunes: The game's terrible and will often update without warning or permission. The update patches solve nothing but delete all your saved games.

ftfy.

 

[Daedwartin]

The Universe: after billions of years, a man by the name of Sid Meier decides to expand in Simcity and Makes Sid Meier's Civilization. it was a smashing hit, leading to one of the most addictive series in history. At some point, a forum called Civfanatics was made, on which a thread about what if civilization was created by [enter XYZ]. In this thread, a post was made. this post mentioned all the previous things seen in this post. Minds were blown trying to truely understand that mindscrew. The Fourth Wall collapsed, and a endless recursion of Time occurred...causing a bunch of hate towards funimation for making endless eight reality. Said post is the one you be reading right now.

This forum needs a like option for Individual posts.

 

[W|M]

I wouldn't like your one.