Dumanios
MLG
- Joined
- Oct 24, 2008
- Messages
- 4,887
Elder: My Lord! We should settle here!
Peter: Nope, move southeast, and then settle.
Elder: OK...
Peter: And you scouts! Go Southwest!
Scouts: Yes sir!
Peter: Elder, invent the Wheel!
Elder: What's that?
Peter: It's a circular thing that goes on carts.
Elder: Oh, OK!
After several years of going southwest, the scouts meet a new civilization!
???: Senatus populusque Romani saluto vos, Peter. I am Julius Caesar. I love the name of honour more than I fear death.
Peter: Then why do you wear a dress?
Julius Caesar: This is not a dress! This is a toga!
Peter: How about we save the fighting for later then?
Julius Caesar: Yes, my armies aren't nearly prepared for war.
Meanwhile, the first group of warriors was trained.
Warriors: My life for the Tsar!
Peter: Perfect! You guys shall be city guards!
Warriors: Yes sir!
A bit later, the scouts found another empire.
???: Welcome to the beautiful land of Germany. It is probably more beautiful than yours.
Peter: How dare you?! Russia is so much better than Germany!
???: King Ludwig thinks otherwise.
Peter: Well, you need a haircut!
Ludwig: How dare you?!
???: Please, no fighting!
Peter and Ludwig: -grumbles-
-Ludwig leaves-
Peter: I so could have beaten him in a fight.
Gorbachev: Nonsense, that is not a kingly thing to do.
Gorbachev: See, you already have a worst enemy!
Peter:
Elder: We've invented the wheel!
Peter: Now invent agriculture!
Elder: What's that?
Peter and Gorbachev: It's using the land to grow food.
Elder: Oh.
Messenger: You have a visitor, milord.
???: Greetings, Peter! It is an honoyr to meet you. May your merchants supply us with all the weaponry we need to bring about you downfall. Inshallah.
Peter: Who is this guy, I don't like him.
Gorbachev: He is Saladin, the leader of the Ayyubid Sultanate.
Saladin: The scarred one is correct, will it be peace, or war.
Peter: I say it will be-
Gorbachev: Peace!
Saladin: We accept your offering.
Messenger: Milord, we have confirmation that the religion called Hinduism has been founded in a far away land.
Peter: Where?
Messenger: In a far away land called Arabia!
???: Welcome! I am Abbas and can do no wrong. Please, all are welcome in my kingdom.
Peter: Oh, cool turban, where can I get one?
Abbas: At the Walmart.
Peter: Peace it is!
-Abbas leaves-
Gorbachev: You didn't insult or try to declare war on him!
Peter: Anyone else?
: Greetings, I am Hatshepsut!
Peter: Well, hello there.
Hatshepsut: Will it be peace between our two nations?
Peter: Oh yes, it will.
-Hatshepsut leaves-
The world in 3000BC
Peter: Hey, I'm not Ludwig's worst enemy!
Dumanios: What victory shall the Russian Empire go for? Will it be Domination, Conquest, Culture, Space Race, or Diplomatic? You decide!