Theodora, Reinhold and Cathrin were having lunch together in a booth at the back of Smurkz Bar and Grill. Theodora had developed a surprising taste for pizza with Canadian bacon and pineapple, while Reinhold munched on salad with bacon bits and spicy French dressing. Cathrin was dining on a grilled tuna sandwich with tomato basil soup.
So tell me, your Majesty, said Cathrin, how is your scrapbook coming along?
Weve havent gotten start yet. Mrs. CB has gone on a spring cleaning spree and decided to paint all the upstairs rooms AND to sort through all the stuff and junk in the rooms. Its like a slow version of Clean Sweep on TLC. Weve painted two rooms, moved a lot of stuff around and are waiting on CommandoBob to get started on his stuff; computer games, computer books, computer parts and old Avalon Hill games. Weve had fun and some good laughs. Ive enjoyed looking at her scrapbooks but Im ready to start one of my own.
Reinhold, how are you doing?
Fine, thank you. The exercises at the dojo have been fun and me and the guys have enjoyed the sparring with you ladies. This style of hand to hand combat is very different from what weve faced in the past. Just as violent, but more directed than just a punch in the gut, if you know what I mean. And after we all lost to you at the joust, well, we dont want that to happen again. One day we might be ready for a proper rematch, but not right now. The Beauties have beaten the Beasts, I have to admit. Were just glad for a chance to learn something new.
Now, can I ask you a question, Cathrin? asked Reinhold.
Sure, go ahead, she said warily. Whats on your mind?
Reinhold leaned forward and asked in a softer voice. Why is everyone so glum? As I hear it, we are now the largest people in the world, but no one seems happy about it. That doesnt make any sense.
Yeah, Ive sorta noticed that, too. I dont know the full story, but Ill tell you what I know and have been able to put together.
Well, at first, CommandoBob had the honor of building our capital, which he called Furzt Smurkz. Everyone got a chance lord it over the people of the capital and it quickly grew to size 12. Then, in around 1750 BC sercer88 unexpectedly kicked off our Golden Age by winning a battle with a Dromon.
Good job, interrupted Reinhold. Ive always liked the way the Dromons fired three directions at one time.
Getting the Golden Age was a bit of shocker, since no one had really planned on it. sercer88 is a young general and still rather new to the team, and didnt realize how big of a change of plans that was. But it was on the end of his time of ruling and not too much damage was done.
With the Golden Age we could make Dromons or swords in just one Imperial turn, which is what CommandoBob did. With good help from ControlFreak, Niklas and zyxy, he was able to declare war on Japan, get the Aztecs to fight Japan also and capture the Japanese capital of Kyoto. After him, Niklas, after first changing the name of Kyoto to Kommando Zentral, was able to capture Osaka, rename it to Ozzy Smurkz and Japan was eliminated from the game. And we still were in our Golden Age. We had increased from one city to three cities and had gotten off of our island.
Three cities; we were as large as France, if I heard the rumors rightly.
You did, Your Majesty, you did. We were as large as France. It was getting to be larger than France that was difficult.
Difficult? I thought we were larger than France.
We are, but it was how we got to be larger that things didnt go so smoothly. Were not sure, but we think that there may have been an enemy agent in ControlFreaks staff that garbled some of his orders. Ive seen some of his reports and that is not as strange as it sounds. His dates were all messed up, going from 1225 BC straight to 1200 AD and then down to 1000 AD. Very strange.
Anyway, the semi-consensus seemed to be to attack the Aztec capital and then the other Aztec city. The enemy agent either changed the orders or got ControlFreak confused with the long and complicated looking Aztec city names. We captured the non-capital city instead. And then ControlFreak disappeared after ruling for only five Imperial turns, though I found out later that he had announced his intention to only rule for those five turns. He had to go to Florida for something called Spring Break, I think.
We did get a great Military Leader that ControlFreak used to build an army, but here again, we think the enemy agent may have been at work. We cant load a full army into a Dromon, but we could have loaded an empty army and enough units to fill the army after we invaded. Weve got enough Dromons. Ive heard CommandoBob argue this back and forth with himself and I cant say which one makes the best use of the army. Maybe just creating the army would have been enough; I cant say.
So, we have our fourth city and need to capture the Aztec capital. zyxy was the next ruling general and while he was able to kill Aztec units and damage the city defenders, he wasnt able to capture Tenochtitlan, if I said it properly. His reign is over and now the scepter is passed to sercer88.
And
prompted Reinhold.
Well, sercer88 has abdicated to Niklas, but were not sure if only for a short time or a normal reigning time. Niklas is of course under the gun to capture this Aztec stronghold, which would then give us 5 cities and lots of options. If he doesnt take Tenowhateveritis, well, then were looking at a peace deal which gives the Aztecs plenty of time to rearm. We can too, but then we have to spend time fighting the Aztecs again, taking losses, losing shields and units. Not exactly what anyone wants to have happen.
Oh my, said Theodora, that is certainly an interesting situation. Tell me, my dear, what do you think will happen?
Well, somethings will go on regardless of the Aztec war. We will be the science broker for a lot of people, trying to get everyone smarter faster. We have contact with everyone, so we can control the tech race a little bit, by just withholding new techs.
We need to start eliminating competition. Japan is gone and so are the Ottomans; I think the Incas took them out. The Aztecs days are numbered, you can count on that, but we dont know the size of that number.
We need two other nation-states to hold a UN election. We started with 30 neighbors, two of them need to stay alive to the end, leaving 28 and two have died, leaving 26 heads of state to go.
After the Aztecs I havent heard any long range plans on who to deal with next. France is a big threat, but is on the far side of the world from us. We want to keep the scientific peoples alive, but that may prove to be difficult.
Sounds like the first big hurdle is still the Aztecs, observed Reinhold. And you need to examine ControlFreaks office staff. Whoever sabotaged his plans is in a position of trust and that makes them harder to find. Im afraid that they may find their way into someone elses office and cause problems. Most likely not, but you cannot afford to take that chance.
Yeah, I think youre right. Aztecs and spies.
Look on the bright side, deary, said Theodora with a small smile. At least it wont be boring.