I think both of you are right really. People can justify their traditions like mutilation, purdah and honor killings by using Islam but that doesn't mean those things are accepted by most Muslims and that they aren't influenced by older customs or that they come directly from the Quran or Hadith. It could be part of their adet which they regard as part of Islam.
I'm not trying to be stubborn here pointing the point over and over again but I will try to be fair to you by not refuting you completely as you also do the same to me.
Yes there are things that come from the culture and when Islam enter the area it still repeating and later seek the legislation of religion to make it seem right while it not true. For example, the muslim in south east Asia they remembering the death and read surah Yasin in 3 day, 100 day and 1000 day after the death pass away. This is something that never been order both in Quran and Hadith and it derive from Hindust tradition in Java. But they keep doing it until this very time and legalize these activity even make it obligatory, and argue even this is innovation (which are bad in Islam) but they change it into more positive value.
The example that I state above is a culture that out from Islam but when Islam enter and they start to convert to Islam they keep doing it but they changes the content to be Islamic. Make it as part of religious activity and part of the religion, while it is not.
While honor killing, multilation, face tatoo (Kurdish culture), drinking alcohol (Kosovo culture even they can be a muslim and Imam of Masjid they drink Alcohol) this is something contradict with Islam and against Islam and they keep it carry on because it is part of their culture and they hard to give it up even for Islam, because it something that their ancestor repeat over and over again, even it clearly wrong the very basic of Islamic doctrine so they can't innovate on it.
And I give you a wide example, for example many muslim drinking alcohol in kosovo as they call themselves as light muslim, who don't know the Quran forbid Alcohol? but why they do it? it is because their culture.
Also face tatoo in Kurdishtan. We muslim is forbid to have tatoo but why they have it?
But you can accept these example as part of their culture and out from Islamic boundaries aren't you? because this not contradict with your moral value while this is not part of Islamic teaching or any branch of Islamic interpretation this is culturally stuff that still carry on. And many muslim against this and try to change this despite you think it is good and no problem but Islam have rule.
Now I will give you the negative example that we all agree it is bad which are honor killing and multilation, this is something awful and it is part of the culture that against Islamic teaching but they still do that because of their culture, just like drinking alcohol remember?
It because They mother do it, they grand father do it, they grand grand father do it etc. And this have no place in any branch of Islamic interpretation of Quran and Hadith, also like drinking alcohol, it have no place also in Islamic innovation (
bidah), this is something that they carry on stubbornly even they aware this is contradict with Islamic teaching.
I hope now you understand.