Things I learned about the science of warfare through Civilization IV

[vader_tat]

395) German Panzer IV pwns Modern M1A1 (civ) while Soviet T (forgot numbers) tanks beats the horsehockyballs out of them (reality)
396) Forest is mostly used for defense rather than ambushing, while in the reality they're good for both. And the archers do better in the Forest too! (wtf??)
397) (Next war) Earth surface is brittle, and its core is liquid (cracks like an egg!!).
398) NASA's space projects' self-destruction mechanism is located at Washington D.C., not Houston. And to take down ISS you also need to capture Brussel (European (EU) capital??), Tokyo, and Moscow. (that's from how you stop rival's ship from reaching Alpha Centauri )

 

[frekk]

3. The effective firing range of a bronze pike is farther than that of a rifle used by a 19th century-era cavalryman. These pikes are imbued with special magic that enables the point of the weapon to elongate past the 100 meters or so that the cavalryman can effectively fire his rifle. In order to carry these 100+ meter long pikes, the pikemen go into a special trance that invokes superhuman strength. In the presence of a mace, however, the pike shortens to about an inch and a half, and the mojo of the mace causes the pikeman to shrivel up into a bed-ridden dwarf scarcely able to carry his own bodyweight, let alone wield a weapon effectively.

All I can say about that one is that, pike formations in the 16th-18th centuries were highly effective against cavalry (even gunpowder cavalry) but not on their own. They were used to protect musketeers from cavalry charges and the musketeers, when they couldn't be charged, were pretty effective against cavalry because they could volley fire better and had more concentration of firepower. Musketeers without pikemen to protect them, on the other hand, routinely got slaughtered by cavalry. Civ doesn't feature mixed units, so this is how things like the "Pike and Shot" tactics get portrayed. If you want, think of the pikemen as a Tercio formation or like that.

The counter to pikes, just as in the ancient era, were different kinds of melee weapons, that's what the Rodeleros and Halberdiers were for.

 

[Negator_UK]

And the archers do better in the Forest too! (wtf??)

Have you never heard of Robin Hood ???

(that's from how you stop rival's ship from reaching Alpha Centauri )

.. whereas sticking a mobile SAM outside the launch city won't work...

 

[ICNP]

399) It is cheaper to shoot down a sub-orbital missile with a 75% chance of accuracy than it is to get Al Gore to create a network of networks. This is due to the high cost of copper in the 20th Century.

Go Cold War!

And 400 will be left to someone else

 

[deanej]

400: Once you discover the processes of life (Biology), farms no longer require water. The crops now use magic to grow.

 

[r_rolo1]

^^No, that's electricity, not bio

 

[deanej]

No, it's biology. See these screenshots from the civilopedia.

 

[Tibur753]

^^No, that's electricity, not bio

It was electricity in Civ3, Biology in Civ IV.

 

[r_rolo1]

Ok, stand corrected... That is what we get when we play 2 versions of the same game

 

[DroopyTofu]

401) When you capture a European civs worker, playing as an asian civ, the worker changes ethnecity (sp). This is because of the ancient tradition of implanting some of your DNA inside of your weapon, and implanting it into the enemies' bloodstream

402) (from 227) Settlers use magnetic materials to enable the cities to fold into thier backpacks, and as you know like magnetic forces repel, thus making it impossible to build cities less than 3 squares apart.

403) Simalar magnetic forces within the Earth affect the level of its surface, no tallest mountain or lowest point, nope only 5 different elevations in existance, Seafloor, Shore, Sealevel, hills, and mountains


Well, there's my atempt at psuedo-scientific

 

[GooglyBoogly]

That should be "less than 3 squares"

 

[r_rolo1]

^^2 ,if cities are in diferent landmasses... salty water cut the mag effects

 

[DroopyTofu]

That should be "less than 3 squares"

Sorry
Okay, I fixed it

 

[Harry Potter52]

404) Settlers immediately lose their backpacked city and become workers when confronted by a weapon.
405) You never have anti-sea defence batteries. Only ships and airplanes can attack other ships.

 

[ICNP]

406) Tiles near rivers are no less productive than tiles away from rivers but do pay more taxes. However when Steam Power is discovered people are able to build levee's that provide additional production abilities to these high tax bracket citizens.

 

[Everest]

407) (non-military) Chopping trees outside a citys visibility range (BFC) is a good idea to create a national park. This is because you can ram those trees in the soil and they will grow again.

Edit for Googly.

 

[GooglyBoogly]

Everest and Vader_Vat. Keep your listings pseudo-scientific please, this is meant to be a humurous thread

408) All Oasis in Civ are actually very powerful Mirages, established by a secret order of immortal mages that have existed since the beginning of time to cloak their lands. These mages use their telepathic powers to prevent settlers or workers from building any large structures on their territory.

 

[Zizon]

#409) People can't starve when their revolting.

 

[BakingTheArt]

410) When Kublai Khan hit 50 years old, his face suddenly switched with Qin Shi Huang (Who, yes, was alive during the time of Kublai). This is because Kublai angered the immortal mages who control the Oasis's by breaking into their underground lair, and cutting off one of their heads. Also, they cut off Kublai Khan's entire body from the shoulders down.

411) All horses are actually transformers that morph into helicopters.

412) Oil wells never run dry, and Oil is visible from the surface.

 

[bestbrian]

#409) People can't starve when their revolting.

"Sire, the peasants are revolting". "Revolting? They're disgusting!". God bless Mel Brooks.