Anoter dumb thief

Lord Draegon · Mar 11, 2004

(12 February 2003) Three men wielding knives tried to rob a slaughterhouse. But when it comes to hand to hand combat with sharp blades, butchers working in a slaughterhouse are more than a match for your average thief. They stabbed two of the intruders to death. The third man escaped from the angry butchers and fled in his car.
Police soon spotted him, and after a brief car chase, the would-be thief pulled over and leapt from his vehicle. But instead of fleeing into the underbrush, he tried to dodge heavy traffic and escape across the highway. Perhaps he thought that threatening butchers with knives was not a sufficient demonstration of his intelligence.

Within seconds, the natural justice system meted out his punishment in the form of a large truck, which struck and killed him.

(January 2003, India) Regarding accidental deaths during the construction of a subway in New Delhi, the New York Times wrote, "One of those killed was an unlucky thief who tried to steal braces holding up a concrete slab; it fell and killed him."

(1992, Tennessee) Nashville's Pancake Pantry restaurant is well known throughout the music industry, not only for its great pancakes, but for its star-studded clientele as well. It is not uncommon for the Pantry's sidewalk to be littered with long lines of customers waiting for breakfast and the chance to see a famous country star dining there. The man involved in this story may linger longer in our memories than the average country singer's career.
It seems one of the Pancake Pantry employees, noting how successful the place was, thought it would be a perfect place to rob. Early one morning, he climbed on the roof and reached the exhaust chute that hangs over the Pantry's large flat grill. Upon inspection, the perpetrator realized that he couldn't negotiate the tight passage fully dressed. He
disrobed and slid down the exhaust chute naked. This was the last thing he ever did.
Imagine the surprise of the opening crew for the restaurant that morning! As they prepared for the morning's breakfast, they were horrified to find a pair of legs dangling just inches from the griddle.

What happened to our would-be villain? It seems that the chute was so tight, there was no room for error. As he slid down the chute, he slipped and caught his own arm under his chin, where he stuck. He died by suffocating himself.

Paul Bordenkircher says, "I share this story not because I heard it third-hand, or even second-hand. I report it because I saw the it on local TV news, including a full video of the grisly discovery hanging above the Pantry's famous griddle."

If only he'd asked...
(7 September 1990, Sydney, Australia) Men seem to have an affinity for large trucks. What else can explain the actions of a 34-year-old thief who decided to take possession of the engine of an old Bedford tip-truck?

The truck was parked outside a glass recycling company in Alexandria. It generally takes three men to lift an engine block of this size, but our enterprising pilferer decided that the best way to remove the engine was from below, rather than the conventional out-the-top-with-a-crane technique.

He crawled under the cab and began to loosen the bolts.

Suddenly the engine block broke loose and landed on his face, killing him instantly. Police ascertained that he had at least one accomplice, judging by the pool of vomit found under a nearby bush.

An employee discovered his body early the next morning. The manager said that the truck was about to be scrapped. "If he had come and asked me for it, I would have given it to

Lord Draegon · Mar 11, 2004

(12 February 2003) Three men wielding knives tried to rob a slaughterhouse. But when it comes to hand to hand combat with sharp blades, butchers working in a slaughterhouse are more than a match for your average thief. They stabbed two of the intruders to death. The third man escaped from the angry butchers and fled in his car.
Police soon spotted him, and after a brief car chase, the would-be thief pulled over and leapt from his vehicle. But instead of fleeing into the underbrush, he tried to dodge heavy traffic and escape across the highway. Perhaps he thought that threatening butchers with knives was not a sufficient demonstration of his intelligence.

Within seconds, the natural justice system meted out his punishment in the form of a large truck, which struck and killed him.

(January 2003, India) Regarding accidental deaths during the construction of a subway in New Delhi, the New York Times wrote, "One of those killed was an unlucky thief who tried to steal braces holding up a concrete slab; it fell and killed him."

(1992, Tennessee) Nashville's Pancake Pantry restaurant is well known throughout the music industry, not only for its great pancakes, but for its star-studded clientele as well. It is not uncommon for the Pantry's sidewalk to be littered with long lines of customers waiting for breakfast and the chance to see a famous country star dining there. The man involved in this story may linger longer in our memories than the average country singer's career.
It seems one of the Pancake Pantry employees, noting how successful the place was, thought it would be a perfect place to rob. Early one morning, he climbed on the roof and reached the exhaust chute that hangs over the Pantry's large flat grill. Upon inspection, the perpetrator realized that he couldn't negotiate the tight passage fully dressed. He
disrobed and slid down the exhaust chute naked. This was the last thing he ever did.
Imagine the surprise of the opening crew for the restaurant that morning! As they prepared for the morning's breakfast, they were horrified to find a pair of legs dangling just inches from the griddle.

What happened to our would-be villain? It seems that the chute was so tight, there was no room for error. As he slid down the chute, he slipped and caught his own arm under his chin, where he stuck. He died by suffocating himself.

Paul Bordenkircher says, "I share this story not because I heard it third-hand, or even second-hand. I report it because I saw the it on local TV news, including a full video of the grisly discovery hanging above the Pantry's famous griddle."

If only he'd asked...
(7 September 1990, Sydney, Australia) Men seem to have an affinity for large trucks. What else can explain the actions of a 34-year-old thief who decided to take possession of the engine of an old Bedford tip-truck?

The truck was parked outside a glass recycling company in Alexandria. It generally takes three men to lift an engine block of this size, but our enterprising pilferer decided that the best way to remove the engine was from below, rather than the conventional out-the-top-with-a-crane technique.

He crawled under the cab and began to loosen the bolts.

Suddenly the engine block broke loose and landed on his face, killing him instantly. Police ascertained that he had at least one accomplice, judging by the pool of vomit found under a nearby bush.

An employee discovered his body early the next morning. The manager said that the truck was about to be scrapped. "If he had come and asked me for it, I would have given it to him

Lord Draegon · Apr 16, 2004

(1997, England) There's ordinary foolishness, and then there's extraordinary foolishness. Stealing fireworks from a storage depot is foolishness. But using a welder's torch to cut through the wall of the building housing the fireworks -- that is extraordinary foolishness.
Several burglars pushed their luck to the brink of failure when they tried to pull off a heist of a building containing a large volume of fireworks. They used a cutting torch to slice through the main door, which was eight feet tall and reinforced with a solid inch of steel. Just as the torch penetrated the door, and success was at hand... a spark landed in a crate of fireworks near the door.

Fireworks are explosive, and this particular crate contained the equivalent of a hundred pounds of gunpowder. The entire factory exploded, and the door was popped from its hinges and slammed flat into the ground.

Astoundingly, the perpetrators were not killed, and have never been found. Flabbergasted pyrotechnics professionals have dubbed them the "Hole in the Ground Gang."

Fanatica · Apr 16, 2004

A bank in our town was recently robbed by an elderly man.
He was captured 20 minutes later after a call from the service station where the thief was having his car overhauled. He said he robbed the bank because he didn't have enough money to have needed repairs completed in order to meet inspection requirements resulting in a jail term instead of a ticket and fine.