freaken hilarious dubya quotes

[newfangle]

here they are. I died laughing. It's a shame he has the key to 27000 nukes.

"If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure."
...George W. Bush
"Republicans understand the importance of bondage between a mother and child."
...Governor George W. Bush

"Welcome to Mrs. Bush, and my fellow astronauts."
...Governor George W. Bush

"Mars is essentially in the same orbit...Mars is somewhat the same distance from the Sun, which is very important. We have seen pictures where there are canals, we believe, and water. If there is water, that means there is oxygen. If oxygen, that means we can breathe."
...Governor George W. Bush, 8/11/94

"The Holocaust was an obscene period in our nation's history. I mean in this century's history. But we all lived in this century. I didn't live in this century."
...Governor George W. Bush, 9/15/95

"I believe we are on an irreversible trend toward more freedom and democracy -- but that could change."
...Governor George W. Bush, 5/22/98

"One word sums up probably the responsibility of any Governor, and that one word is 'to be prepared'."
...Governor George W. Bush, 12/6/93

"Verbosity leads to unclear, inarticulate things."
...Governor George W. Bush, 11/30/96

"I have made good judgments in the past. I have made good judgments in the future."
...Governor George W. Bush

"The future will be better tomorrow."
...Governor George W. Bush

"We're going to have the best educated American people in the world."
...Governor George W. Bush 9/21/97

"People that are really very weird can get into sensitive positions and have a tremendous impact on history."
...Governor George W. Bush

"I stand by all the misstatements that I've made."
...Governor George W. Bush to Sam Donaldson, 8/17/93

"We have a firm commitment to NATO, we are a part of NATO. We have a firm commitment to Europe. We are a part of Europe."
...Governor George W. Bush

"Public speaking is very easy."
...Governor George W. Bush to reporters

"I am not part of the problem. I am a Republican."
...Governor George W. Bush

"A low voter turnout is an indication of fewer people going to the polls."
...Governor George W. Bush

"When I have been asked who caused the riots and the killing in LA, my answer has been direct & simple: Who is to blame for the riots? The rioters are to blame. Who is to blame for the killings? The killers are to blame."
...George W. Bush

"Illegitimacy is something we should talk about in terms of not having it."
...Governor George W. Bush 5/20/96

"We are ready for any unforeseen event that may or may not occur."
...Governor George W. Bush 9/22/97

"For NASA, space is still a high priority."
...Governor George W. Bush, 9/5/93

"Quite frankly, teachers are the only profession that teach our children."
...Governor George W. Bush , 9/18/95

"The American people would not want to know of any misquotes that George Bush may or may not make."
...Governor George W. Bush

"We're all capable of mistakes, but I do not care to enlighten you on the mistakes we may or may not have made."
...Governor George W. Bush

"It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it."
...Governor George W. Bush

"[It's] time for the human race to enter the solar system."
...Governor George W. Bush

 

[Becka]

*yawn* Boring. Give me Quail quotes anyday.

Originally posted by newfangle
"It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it."
...Governor George W. Bush

Ok, I've heard this attributed to Quail and Gore.

 

[HotDog Fish]

Actually I beleive tha t these are all Dan Quayle quotes...which are actual can be found under on CFC outside the forum! All in all thought great quotes!!

 

[Greadius]

A Quayle in the hand is worth two in the Bush? Or something like that...

There is an entire book of Dubya's stupid quotes... even if these aren't his, there are many more out there.

 

[napoleon526]

They are all Quayle quotes, but the Dubya ones are just as bad...

 

[amadeus]

How about some Clinton to balance the discussion?

"A lot of wonderful people love their country and hate the military." - 1969 (Letter to the National Guard)

"You can't say you love your country and hate your government." - 1995 (After the OKC bombing)

When a Romanian man gave a Romanian flag with a hole in the middle (symbolizing the end of Communism), President Clinton said "thanks for the poncho."

"I am the only President in who knew something about agriculture when I got there."

"African-Americans watch the same news at night that ordinary Americans do."

"If a President of the United States ever lied to the American people, he should resign."

"Character doesn't matter."

"I did not have sexual realtions with that woman, Miss Lewinsky!"

"Indeed I did have a relationship with Miss Lewinsky that was not appropriate. In fact, it was wrong"

"We can't be so fixated on our desire to preserve the rights of ordinary Americans."

"You know the one thing that's wrong with this country? Everyone gets a chance to have their fair say."

"$100,000 donors buy access to Congress and the White House._
We believe it's long past time to clean up Washington."

And some more Democratic "ditties" --

"It appears to me that Muammar Qaddafi is one of the greatest preservers and fighters for human rights that there is on the earth." - Louis Farrakahn

"Whatever good is in Libya must be exported in the entire world. Brother Muammar Qaddafi has guaranteed your human rights."

"I don't think that Saddam Hussein is deliberately starving his own people. I would think that a man who gets 99 percent of the people to vote for him in an election and the people love him so much, how would they love a man that is starving them?'' - Louis Farrakhan

"I believe he [Saddam Hussein] wants a better relationship with America." - Louis Farrakahn

"In closing, the greatest threat to peace on this earth is the arrogance of a super-power [America] that is out of control."_- Louis Farrakahn

(by the way, the last quote was from a speech given in Tripoli, Libya)

"I've heard Eric Clapner, ... I think it was a wonderful thing that
Eric Clapner the musician did...So I think that's the wonderful part about it, but listen -_ I like Eric Clapner!" - Joycelyn Elders on Eric
Clapton

But I'm saying we are losing the people who are going to pay my social security. And that bothers me." - Joycelyn Elders

 

[sysyphus]

He certainly has a way with words.

One of my favourite gaffs is by Jean Chrétien:

"De root of de 'omeless problem in Canada is dat dere are too many people witout a place to live"

 

[BeerCur]

Will people ever accept Bush Jr, outside the USA, as the USA's President? He's our leader and though he has messed up speaking many of times, does it mean what he believes in and stands for is wrong? I for one will go and do his bidding as necesary... The large majority of the United States is behind him no matter what, in this time of trouble.

~Matthew

PS, Dan Quale quotes should not presented as Bush's. You're an "ignorant slut, Jane" for presented these as facts... you should be ashamed of yourself... say 1,000,000 hail mary's and call me in the morning.

 

[newfangle]

My apologies, I just grabbed it off jokes.com. I assumed they were bush's.

Herer's another by my great prime minister,
"Dare is notin to be afraid of in Kananaskis, we are perotected by de bears and de indian villages." Or something like that...

 

[BeerCur]

Originally posted by newfangle
My apologies, I just grabbed it off jokes.com. I assumed they were bush's.

Herer's another by my great prime minister,
"Dare is notin to be afraid of in Kananaskis, we are perotected by de bears and de indian villages." Or something like that...

You're forgiven my son. Now f**k me in the a... oh, never mind...

~Matthew

 

[CurtSibling]

No matter how our republican posters try to justify him,
I think Mr Bush is known (and laughed at) the world over for his duff speeches and beady little eyes.

ANd have any of you noticed that bizarre head movement he does when he is talking?...spooky!

sample GWB quote;
"You underestimize me!"

What a guy!

 

[CurtSibling]

How about another gleaming light of intelligence, Ronald Raygun!

On africa - "America has much to offer the third world war!"
About internal affairs - "This is a dicredited president!" (he means precedent)

But you can't help liking the turkey-necked old guy, huh?

 

[Thuloid]

Kind of unique to Dubya are the words he makes up.

I can only think of a few right now, but give me time:

subliminable (as in subliminable messages)
retributative

And even if it was actually Will Farrell who said it, who can forget 'strategery.'

I love the president.

 

[Baleog]

I could have sworn all those quotes were Bushes, but I'll take the words of you guys. Here is one that I taught was Bush, but prove me wrong.


"We need a tougher death penalty".

 

[knowltok2]

Originally posted by Thuloid
Kind of unique to Dubya are the words he makes up.

I can only think of a few right now, but give me time:

subliminable (as in subliminable messages)
retributative

And even if it was actually Will Farrell who said it, who can forget 'strategery.'

I love the president.

You forgot, "Compasionativity"

Strategery was great though. I think Webster's should give that one considerationatude.

 

[Flatlander Fox]

Uh, Louis Farakhan is a NUT, not a Democrat...

That's like calling Hitler a Republican...

 

[Kublai-Khan]

My favorite Bush quote is when he asked to the president of Brazil:

*Do you have Blacks too?*

 

[FredLC]

Originally posted by Kublai-Khan
My favorite Bush quote is when he asked to the president of Brazil:

*Do you have Blacks too?*

Did it actually happen? I never heard of it...

 

[Switch625]

Wrong forum. This should be in the Humor and Jokes forum.

 

[Alcibiaties of Athenae]

It's on the way there now....

and it's arrived.