Submition: Fluff text for the war machine

[Tortanick]

I'm not too happy with this, but I thought I'd submit it anyway, perhaps someone could improve it, the underlying idea is that driving the war machine causes insanity, it gets quite hot between the sun and the engines add the hard work to the mix, and then you have the screams and the guilt. The latest pilot Jo “Reaper” Black is no different, he thinks the war machine is a agricultural harvester and opposing army are fields of corn. He doesn't always feel so hurried about it though, just this time he's alone defending the city hence the refence to starvation and the wheat spoiling.

My original idea was that he had an additional nickname “The Sane”, the idea being that his realitively minor madness meant he was fully functional in normal life, and since everyone knows better than to ask about the time spent in the war machine no one noticed, I dropped this because Jo “Reaper” Black “The Sane” didn't sound good, shame though, I liked the idea.

As for the little girl, I just like the thought of this old scarecrow with rags of a military uniform driving a huge death machine through enermy ranks and all he's thinking of his his 4 year old granddaughter.

The sun grew to unbearable heat, the controls became slippery and felt heaver with each movement but he couldn't stop, the wheat would spoil, the city would starve and it would be His Fault! He focused on the image of his little girl waiting on the gates for food and continued the harvest.

Jo “The Reaper” Black,

Note, just encase you prefure it here is the prevouse versions:

The sun grew to unbearable heat, the controls became slippery and felt heaver with each movement but he couldn't stop, the wheat would spoil, the city would starve and it would be His Fault. He forced his vision to focus and continued the harvest.

Jo “The Reaper” Black, The War Machine's pilot

The city needed wheat, without food they would starve, he had wheat, fields of it. If he could just finish the harvest his city would be saved, his family would be saved, his little girl would get to live. Everyone was depending on him.

The sun grew to unbearable heat, the controls became slippery and felt heaver with each movement but he couldn't stop, the wheat would spoil and he would have let everyone down. He forced his vision to focus and continued the harvest

 

[Kael]

Here is the current pedia entry written by Nikis-Knight for the war machine:

[TAB]Dentaro was not a typical Dovellio. In battle he was as ferocious as the next, which earned him his place in the tribe. But after battle, he would not partake in the feasting, the telling of exaggerated stories of bravery, or even the sating of other desires with the conquered peoples.
[tab]No, after every battle Dentaro scurried about the battlefield, picking through the rubble. He examined each rusty blade, axe handle, chariot wheel, bits of sturdy bone or even teeth. These would be placed in his pack, and deposited in his home next time they returned to Dovellio lands. Worse, to his kinsmen's estimation, he would inspect any books they came across, reading some, discarding others. His older brother laid him flat the first time he caught his reading. The second time, Dentaro broke his brother's axe arm and knocked out three teeth, so the others left him to his eccentricity.
[tab]Any Dwarven prisoner would be questioned closely be Dentaro. Unlike his peers, he would not ask where their wine, weapons, or wealth were. He asked them about steam, about mechanics, about enchantment.
[tab]On this continued, late into his life. The tribe's fortunes waxed and waned, but gradually the enemy pushed them back to their tundra homeland, and pressed further. Then one night Urslo itself was threatened in a surprise attack, by disciplined soldiers. The sounds of battle awakened Dentaro, and the sounds of battle continued until they were drowned out by an unearthly roar. Dentaro's ramshackle house burst apart. The Dovellio word for ‘machine' was invented that night, as Dentaro's War Machine emerged.
[tab]It falls well short of even the practical Dwarves' standards of beauty, but no one can deny its effectiveness. Heavy crossbows fire as it drives forward, needing only periodic reloading. Blades sweep side to side, and more lances lead the War Machine's charge than a company of knights. Whether powered by magic, technology, some beasts running in circles inside, or an unholy combination of the three no one but Dentaro could even guess.
[tab]The enemy at Urslo was wiped out to the man. The Dovellio began to retake their old conquests, Dentaro at the lead. No one spoke of him as the odd one anymore, and even Dentaro's older brother began to introduce himself by his relation to the old misfit. Dentaro himself barely noticed his increased stature. After every battle, he climbs down from the War Machine, and begins to pick through the carnage, taking a blade here, a chariot wheel there, and adding it to his sack.

 

[Tortanick]

Seems to disagree with mine quite strongly, oh well I can't say I didn't enjoy writing it, or that I'd change Nikis's one for mine.

Is there a big list of unfinished entries for next time?

 

[Kael]

Seems to disagree with mine quite strongly, oh well I can't say I didn't enjoy writing it, or that I'd change Nikis's one for mine.

Is there a big list of unfinished entries for next time?

Yeah, after 0.15 releases I will try to get a thread up like the spell entries thread for units. To see what kind of stuff players can come up with.

 

[Nikis-Knight]

Good inititive, just check right after a version is released, rather than just before