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The Family

Discussion in 'Civ4 - Demo Game IV: RPG' started by thecommonnate, Aug 17, 2008.

  1. thecommonnate

    thecommonnate Theocrat

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    This is my first attempt at RPing, please critique it if you want, I would love to hear what you guys have to say.

    Orazio looked out into the open fields with longing. The chariot continued to seem lost, as it had since the departure of Santiago. The ship ride from Venice, which most travelers would agree was the worst part of any commute, seemed nothing in comparison to the bumpy ride through New Arkadia.

    In addition to all of this, Orazio was feeling anxious; it had been a long time since any member of The Family had been sure of something. The Family's history had begun some time in the 3rd Millenia BC, during the Sedrik Dynasty. Since then The Family had been involved in politics in Arete and Arkadia, and later on Kassite. During the demise of the Arkadian Dynasty under Dutchfire, Orazio's ansector joined a then far-off Separatist group known as the Principality of Kassite, participated in a rebellion that overthrew the government, but then witnessed the lost control of the new Empire to a Representative Monarchy based in Arete, sometimes referred to by the peasants as the "Cycles."

    After the Revolution, The Family (who were still tied to the recognized Principalities of Kassite) moved to rural Venice with the leader, Vandal the Rebel. Although Vandal again attempted to spark dismay in the Empire, The Family did not participate, and instead waited until peace was achieved. The faction was thus renamed the Free State of Venice, and following the peace, The Family received a house in coastal Venice and gem mines North West of Seville and on a direct route to Santiago.

    The last was what brought Orazio out to New Arkadia today. Orazio's grandfather, Antoneo, had received the gem mines as well as The Family house; however, both him and Orazio's father, Nate had no real business knowledge. Orazio, on the other hand, had recently graduated from the University of Arete, where he studied business and Law.


    He saw something.

    "We're here?" said Orazio.
    "No," said his Spanish servant, Matteo,"Sir these are the mines in Seville county, your mines are actually located in the Holy Land."
    "Very well. Driver," Shouted Orazio over the sound of rock and wheel, "How much further?"
    "We must cross a marsh land and from there it will only be a little longer, perhaps another two hours."

    Orazio fell asleep.

    Things were, despite hard travels, looking up for The Family, Nate was busy making political ties far better then the unusual ones they have now as they ventured through the New Arkadian Countryside. Orazio had also begun networking in collage in hope of soon being able to start a family business or partake in an economic adventure.
    Orazio worried dearly for The Family though, as they were still situated in Venice, and he had no real news of the Babylonian Crab War. Officials in Santiago had told him that the armies had broken all the way into Babylon, and that Babylon's army would now be no match for our armies, who were led by great military minds such as Provoshogun, Gustavus II Adolphus, and the Dutchfire, but Orazio would not rest. He had seen with his own eyes the Babylonian Army, and feared Babylon's proximity to Venice.

    "Wake up, Sir, were here," said Matteo.

    With the chariot stopped Orazio stepped down onto the dew-moistened green grass of New Arkadia, rumored to be be most pleasant grass in the world. He looked from the top of a small valley to the bottom, where small mines numbered the walls and Spanish slaves worked pleasantly among the cool valley breeze and the water rich Riverbed.
    A Spanish man walked up to Orazio holding a clear rock.
    "Lord Orazio, this is the most recent findings, its a crystal."
    Orazio help up the Crystal to the noon sunlight. The Crystal shone with excellency.

    Orazio walked up to a clearing, the viability was great, and you could see past the Holy River of Madrid, where his land ended.
    "This is what The Family has been waiting for."
     
  2. Cyc

    Cyc Looking for the door...

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    You have written a good RPG post thecommonnate. You talk of history, show the present, and hint of the future. You introduced four new characters to us and spoke of many characters and places that are familiar to us.

    There are some typos and the last sentance in the second paragraph is a little long, but these are minor issues. I would give you an "A". Well done and welcome.
     
  3. Diamondeye

    Diamondeye So Happy I Could Die

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    The only thing really nagging me is the typing error in Seidrik. Please correct it. Else, it's fine. "A" from me aswell ;).
     
  4. Vandal Warlord

    Vandal Warlord Nazgûl

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    Eoncor! Or however you spell it.
     
  5. Lord Civius

    Lord Civius Emperor

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    Well written TCN, don't leave us hanging for too long.
     
  6. thecommonnate

    thecommonnate Theocrat

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    Thanks you guys.
     
  7. thecommonnate

    thecommonnate Theocrat

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    Orazio's boat arrived at Venice harbor carrying gems from the Holy Land and Seville County, which Orazio had purchased before leaving New Arkadia.
    The boat docked and Orazio stepped onto the walkway, a man approached him.
    "Welcome back to Venice Sir, I am under orders of your father, Nate; if you follow me I have transportation waiting to take you to your home," said the man.
    Orazio followed him to a chariot with a small driver.

    The Chariot took the main road through East Venice. In a short time the Chariot turned into a walkway leading up to The Family's modest house of the West Outskirts of Venice. Orazio stepped off and the Chariot Driver
    left without words. Orazio walked to the entrance and opened the front door to find a barren state of his house, everything was where it had been when he had left, but things were very different, there was silence.
    Orazio walked to the main room, situated just behind a wall visible upon entrance to the house. He saw his mother.
    "What is going on," Orazio said to break the loud silence.
    "Orazio, son, thank the gods.
    Everything is fine, but there has been much anticipation these past weeks you have left us. Your Father has been busy in the world of politics, and he left last week for Babylon! When I asked him why he said it was only for looks, and that he would be safe under security of the Aretan Army, but he requested that you be brought to the city as well.
    "Babylon?" asked Orazio, "So the news is true, and we are winning the war?"
    "Yes," said his mother, but Babylon is burning, there are riots and the army cannot quell the civilians."
    "Why does Father want me in Babylon?"
    "I do not know, but everything is already arranged, you have until the end of tomorrow and from then another chariot will come to take you to Edori. You will meet up with friends of your father there who will take you through the roads of the Blastoid Desert to Nippur, and the to Babylon."
    "What about you, mother, are you alone?"
    "No, your sisters are all here, they are just in town mailing papers to Babylon, trying to have things ready for your father's arrival."

    Orazio knew he did not have a choice, and that his father was not out in Babylon for looks, his father would never to that, whatever this was, it was big.

    **

    The night came the next day after Orazio's dinner with his mother and his sisters. Immediately after he could hear the footsteps of men walking to the front of his home.

    They knocked at the door.

    Orazio kissed his mother goodbye and received the guests, who led him to a chariot. Orazio entered the Chariot and from the other side encountered Matteo, surprisingly, as he had gotten off of the boat at Arete to see his wife.
    "Matteo, what is going on, it was weird enough them sending for me, but why have they taken you too?"
    "I am as lost as you, Sir, these men picked me up just hours after I had gotten home, without notice. My Wife was in tears and I have not been able to write to her, the
    only thing these men have told me was that we should reach Edori by morning, and from there we will only have a day to rest."
    "This is too strange, but my father selected these men, and they look Aretan to me. We should continue towards Edori, my mother said that we will meet friends of my
    Father there, hopefully they will know what has happened."

    The chariot departed Orazio's home, they were headed towards the Warlord capitol of the world.
     
  8. Provolution

    Provolution Sage of Quatronia

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    Good story, need to introduce a fitting part here.

    Orazio's chariot was greeted by four elephants, they looked like war elephants at first, but they had orange colored barding and were stomping methodically the dirt road to Edorai as Babylonian slaves were laying brick behind them. Orazio realized these were construction elephants, how inventive! What else should these unwanted war-veterans do for work, but taking unskilled jobs in the public works sector....

    Behind the elephants came a courier riding, a militant Edoraian, fed on pork and rice, strong, lean, but with a meaty fist. He dismounted and asked the elephants to move to the side, so the chariot could continue. The courier was working for a company, Orazio could see, HIM was a logo he had on his saddle, a new company, obviously.

    Dear Mr. Orazio, I know you are from a prominent Venetian family, and interested in business, I am from an iron family, you a diamond family, would you care for a dinner with Governor Provoshogun himself? I am Ganzai, the nightrider, courier, trader and negotiator for Hard Iron Manufacturing, named after HIM. Provoshogun is HIM, and like to be referred that way, builds character. I am quite certain Edoraian produce will please you, both Babylonian statues of nude women that would fit perfectly in Venice with all those enticing clams as well as a unique Armory, not to mention all made of iron. So what do you say, a little dinner before the Blastoid desert?
     
  9. Vandal Warlord

    Vandal Warlord Nazgûl

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    I always enjoy a good RP :p

    Iek was now a man by Aretean Standards, and he was joining the Aretean Army bound for the Rest of the Dark East. He stopped in Edorai to sign in. He was to join an elite guard for King Cyc, Imperial Knights, as they were called. HE just hoped they would let him in after being raised by Zekk, grandson of Vandal the Burning. He approach the city with great awe seeing the glory of the City then he saw the Barracks and he ran inside.

    He was at the Desk in a flash.

    "Can I help you?" The officer asked.
    "Yes you can," Iek Said, "I would like to join the Imperial Knights."

    The officer raised an Eyebrow to that and asked, "Why should you be let into the Imperial Guard?"

    "Because....... I am Vandal the Burning's Great-Grandson."
     
  10. thecommonnate

    thecommonnate Theocrat

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    Orazio hesitated in awe, last week he certainly would not have been greeted by the Governor of Edori's business men, let alone invited to dinner with the governor himself; how exactly big was Nate's Tour of Duty to Aretan politics?

    He did not hesitate to accept the invitation, though, he quickly recorded the courier's enclosed information.

    When all was exchanged the courier continued up the road, Orazio and his party followed after into the city of Edori. At a seemingly determined point of the ride through the city, the chariot driver and the guard turned to Orazio and Matteo and told them they were to exit then and walk to the hostel two blocks from were they were. Upon delivering the information, the driver turned the chariot around to the direction they came, and left the both of them.

    Orazio and Matteo walked the remaining distance and arrived at the mentioned hostel. They entered unnoticed by the guests, and walked up to a lady behind a small counter.

    "Hello," said Orazio, "We would like to stay here tonight."
    The lady looked puzzled, but soon noticed Arete Proper accent, and knew they were from Venice and not used to the surroundings. Before she said anything back she remembered a strange order.

    "Can I ask why you're here?"

    In uneasiness of his surroundings Orazio was quick to throw in his fathers name.
    "I'm the son of Nate of Venice."

    The women quickly became professional.

    "Orazio and Matteo, please follow me."

    The women hastily walked up the stairs and to a door.

    "You two will be staying here and-," the women gestured to the opposing door, "here. At sunset there will be a chariot outside, Orazio you are to enter and Matteo you will stay."
    The trustworthy Orazio nodded and closed his door, the uneasy Matteo did not speak.

    **

    The chariot arrived as the sun approached the horizon. Orazio walked across the barren street and was taken aboard.
    The chariot rode to a modest house outside of the main streets of Edori. Orazio exited the chariot, but was followed by two couriers to the door, which they knocked at. Orazio was received by another courier, who led him past the grand room into the main dinning room, where at a large table sat Provoshogun at the head of the table, surrounded by people Orazio did not know, and a grand spectacle of food, most noticeably exquisite Pork.

    "Greetings," voiced Provoshogun, "Sit down, please."
     
  11. Provolution

    Provolution Sage of Quatronia

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    The trustworthy Orazio sat down, whereas the uneasy Matteo just stood for a while, until he got weary, and sat down too.

    Provoshogun snapped his fingers to get the manservants over to attent the table.

    "Warlords have never really benefitted from being part of the rulers, before now to be honest. Just look at Edorai, we have been literally carrying the nation on our back, as we have been treated as loyal and inexpensive warriors, ready to die for a slice of pork. Now, that has come to end from this point onwards. Having seen the way we dealt both Spain and Babylon their death throes, we feel we have earned our dues. Thus, we are in business. Our razing of Sippar was a direct friendly gesture to the people of Venice, whom you belong too, so Venice could grow and get bigger...."


    Orazio liked this, he was treated as an equal by the conqueror of Babylon, now a major industrialist and developer. He was curious what to come next.

    Provoshogun continued

    "What if we formed a business together, I have some very concrete ideas to what this country needs, you got the diamonds, we got the iron, we just need a couple of other things in place..."

    "I truly hope you enjoyed the roasted pork, the boiled rice with the fresh herbs and desert flowers, as well as the iced water from the mountains, it is all we can offer right now, but we will develop better habits over time. Oh, and we got some rice wine, I forgot to mention, here, have a sip, do you like it?"
     
  12. thecommonnate

    thecommonnate Theocrat

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    Orazio held back his excitement, business with Governor Provoshogun was not something he ever would of expected, but it had come, nonetheless, and Orazio instinctively established his contact by explaining The Family's information to the courier nearby.

    After dinner and wine Orazio gestured to Matteo that it was time to leave. Provoshogun stood to personally walk his guests and future business partner to the exit.

    "I will be in touch" was Provoshogun's last words.

    Orazio and Matteo returned to the hostel by foot.

    "I don't think we should group up with your father's men," said Matteo.
    "Why would we not?" asked Orazio.
    "I think you are being too trustworthy, Orazio, the Governor of Edori is one thing, but these men that you speak of, they are coming here from Babylon. Babylonian Resistance would be happy to have their hands on the heir of the newest upcoming politically tied family in Arete, and we would be crossing the Blastoid Desert with them!"
    "I do see your point, but what would you do? We need to get to Babylon somehow."
    "I think we should try to buy passage in a Aretan Army brigade, there should be tons of small brigades headed up to Nippur during the war time. My family's ancestors did this in the Spanish War; there were always many small forces headed back to Arete and Arkadia then, theres bound to be the same thing here."
    "I like your idea Matteo, but how do you suggest we pay for the trip, I only have enough money for food and shelter, buying military passage would break us completely."
    Matteo had answered this, as well, "Orazio, if your willing to do some hard work, our passage could be free."
    Orazio smiled uneasily.

    "It would be much safer, and your father would understand if we wished to hire private protection," said Matteo.


    Orazio knew he was right, and accepted. The long walk ended when the men reached the hostel. They both entered silently and walked to their rooms, wanting to rest and lose the day, but they both knew they had a long day ahead of them.
     

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