Things I learned about the science of warfare through Civilization IV
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Phrossack
Armored Fish and Armored Men
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495) Contrary to popular belief, yew is at least as durable as steel. Longbows are thus both long-ranged dealers of death and formidable melee weapons capable of killing a large, heavily-armored soldier, warhorse, or even a war elephant.
Stewie0416
Who Cares?
deleted 10 chars
Terrance888
Discord Reigns
496) Contrary to the Popular Belief. A Musketmen's bullet can go through a Knight. But a mustketman on a hill, in a city or other defensible while defending from a knight terain means it can go through them better.
RandomPerson
Imma chargin ma magic...
497. If General Mills opens up in a city with Abengoa in it, Abengoa needs to pack up and disappear. This is because thay are competitors, and competitors can't be in the same city at the same time. *HINT* Abengoa is an ethanol company.
498. If you walk into a horse pasture all of the buildings to hold the horses magically move for you!
499. Despite logic, jungles are a useless disease spreading terror that needs to be cleaned up for the good of all humanity! God bless those corporations chopping down our rainforests
500. Despite the invention of railway, nobody uses trains! Infact, walking over a railway track, instead of being dangerous gives you superspeed!
Yay 500th
god bless those phalnaxes
499. Despite logic, jungles are a useless disease spreading terror that needs to be cleaned up for the good of all humanity! God bless those corporations chopping down our rainforests
500. Despite the invention of railway, nobody uses trains! Infact, walking over a railway track, instead of being dangerous gives you superspeed!
Yay 500th
god bless those phalnaxesI skipped a bunch of pages in the middle, so these may have been said, but:
502. A city build in a jungle or forest will automatic clear it away
503. A city build in the middle of the desert can still feed the same number of people as a city built in a fertile grassland next to a river.
504. A soldier or scout can learn the secrets of the woods. Even if there are no forests or jungles in the planet.
*edit: Thought of another:
505. Teaching a unit how to cover helps then against archery units, unless if those archery units happen to be riding a horse, camel, or elephant.
502. A city build in a jungle or forest will automatic clear it away
503. A city build in the middle of the desert can still feed the same number of people as a city built in a fertile grassland next to a river.
504. A soldier or scout can learn the secrets of the woods. Even if there are no forests or jungles in the planet.
*edit: Thought of another:
505. Teaching a unit how to cover helps then against archery units, unless if those archery units happen to be riding a horse, camel, or elephant.
Point13
Like a ton of bricks!
I'm sorry I'm diverting from the topic BUT
You sir are my hero for the Monty Python reference in your signature.
Phrossack
Armored Fish and Armored Men
- Joined
- Oct 26, 2008
- Messages
- 6,045
Why, thank you! I love Monty Python. In fact, there's a Monty Python marathon at 10:30 on the BBC.
Anyway,
506) Arrows can occasionally damage tanks, infantry fighting vehicles, and even Chobham-protected main battle tanks. This is due to the fact that, upon detecting such foes, archers and longbowmen utilize armor-piercing arrowheads. Sure, they're meant to pierce chain or plate, but the wording in their manuals was rather ambiguous.
Anyway,
506) Arrows can occasionally damage tanks, infantry fighting vehicles, and even Chobham-protected main battle tanks. This is due to the fact that, upon detecting such foes, archers and longbowmen utilize armor-piercing arrowheads. Sure, they're meant to pierce chain or plate, but the wording in their manuals was rather ambiguous.
whitelaughter
Warlord
507: It is necessary to for someone to found Buddhism (real world circa 500BC) before it is possible to found Judaism (real world over a millennia earlier). However Buddhism can be founded before Hinduism, and does not require the founding nation to have been influenced by Greek philosophy. Presumably, in the real world, achieving enlightenment allowed Buddha to travel through time and spread his teachings to the people who influenced him - this ability just hasn't been modded in yet.
508: Zoroastrianism - the religion which helped define Hinduism, influenced Christianity and Islam; was the religion of Cyrus (praised by Jewish prophets) and the primary faith of the Middle East for millennia - is not a major religion. Presumably Zoroastrianism was developed by the AI, so when the player realised he was being pwned, he went to an old save and destroyed the Zoroastrian Holy City. [Seriously, Zoroastrianism should replace Buddhism, with a renamed Meditation].
509: learning how create gunpowder makes it impossible for you to ever again hold a pointy stick. As pointy sticks are the deadliest weapons in the game, clearly gunpowder is an early form of crack cocaine that interferes with your ability to fight.
510: learning how to use a new weapons will miraculously cause bullet holes to heal, and your friends to rise from the dead. Clearly all technology is delivered by saints, who perform miracles in between teaching classes.
511: drafting levies grows increasingly dangerous as technology progresses - for every citizen you need to draft to work as a spearman, you need to draft three to drive an APC. Perhaps the other two are run over by the newbie at in the APC?
512: Priests can be as good at construction as engineers. Of course, engineers are as good at building workers as they are at building monuments, so clearly your citizens are actually robots.
513: If you adopt Representation, ordinary citizens will discover as much scientific knowledge as other society's scientists. Clearly, the laws of nature aren't so much discovered as voted on.
514: Antarctica is a myth. All submarines can travel in Captain Nemo's footsteps and sail under the southern icecap. Further, other societies will pay you to learn that the ice is in fact, ice. The idea of Antarctica is clearly spread to trick the AI into buying blank maps.
515: You cannot make money from grapes until you have learned how to meditate. Even then, it takes a monarch to think to eat one. [pause] How are you making money from grapes if you won't eat them, and can't trade them? Clearly I am not sufficiently enlightened to understand...
516:The only reason to build police stations is to beat up hippies. Fortunately, your citizens enjoy watching hippies being beaten up during wartime. (And in CivIII, the only reason to give women the vote was to make your Civ more warlike!)
508: Zoroastrianism - the religion which helped define Hinduism, influenced Christianity and Islam; was the religion of Cyrus (praised by Jewish prophets) and the primary faith of the Middle East for millennia - is not a major religion. Presumably Zoroastrianism was developed by the AI, so when the player realised he was being pwned, he went to an old save and destroyed the Zoroastrian Holy City. [Seriously, Zoroastrianism should replace Buddhism, with a renamed Meditation].
509: learning how create gunpowder makes it impossible for you to ever again hold a pointy stick. As pointy sticks are the deadliest weapons in the game, clearly gunpowder is an early form of crack cocaine that interferes with your ability to fight.
510: learning how to use a new weapons will miraculously cause bullet holes to heal, and your friends to rise from the dead. Clearly all technology is delivered by saints, who perform miracles in between teaching classes.
511: drafting levies grows increasingly dangerous as technology progresses - for every citizen you need to draft to work as a spearman, you need to draft three to drive an APC. Perhaps the other two are run over by the newbie at in the APC?
512: Priests can be as good at construction as engineers. Of course, engineers are as good at building workers as they are at building monuments, so clearly your citizens are actually robots.
513: If you adopt Representation, ordinary citizens will discover as much scientific knowledge as other society's scientists. Clearly, the laws of nature aren't so much discovered as voted on.
514: Antarctica is a myth. All submarines can travel in Captain Nemo's footsteps and sail under the southern icecap. Further, other societies will pay you to learn that the ice is in fact, ice. The idea of Antarctica is clearly spread to trick the AI into buying blank maps.
515: You cannot make money from grapes until you have learned how to meditate. Even then, it takes a monarch to think to eat one. [pause] How are you making money from grapes if you won't eat them, and can't trade them? Clearly I am not sufficiently enlightened to understand...
516:The only reason to build police stations is to beat up hippies. Fortunately, your citizens enjoy watching hippies being beaten up during wartime. (And in CivIII, the only reason to give women the vote was to make your Civ more warlike!)
toll_booth
Warlord
- Joined
- Sep 21, 2008
- Messages
- 205
Don't know if anyone has these yet or not, but:
517) The more people eat, the more they have sex. Eating huge diets does not result in obesity, but mass orgies. However, this has no effect on the local culture or the level of happiness (whose lack thereof can increase as the population does).
518) As soon as the Eiffel Tower was built, engineers all across the nation hastily built their own radio towers. Even though none of them were nearly as impressive as the Eiffel, many of them had even more effect on the local culture than the Eiffel did. However, nobody in surrounding countries even got started on their towers until later, sometimes many decades later, if ever.
519) Your citizens will get royally pissed off if you go to war with the nation that has Zeus' Statue. They are seriously worried that Zeus will punish their violence by striking them down with lightning bolts.
520) People of multiple religions within one city will always get along, even if one of the religions is declared the state religion.
521) Soldiers can become better trained by staring at a statue of a war chariot.
522) The effects of Stonehenge are living proof that aliens exist, and that they arrived on Earth thousands of years ago: they gave a nation several of its monuments.
523) Banks always have a 50% return rate on investments. However, if this offer is combined with any other investment, the 50% is calculated from the starting, not current, investment.
524) If the local theatre burns down, and volunteers agree to rebuild it, they will do so almost instantly.
525) A field worker, a horse, and a tank can all move at the same speed.
526) The Pyramids really do hold all the secrets...well, at least all the different theories of government.
527) Contrary to popular opinion, bureaucracy increases, not decreases, efficiency.
528) Notre Dame makes every one on the continent a little happier, even if they have never heard of Notre Dame.
529) Societies that are inherently spiritual can deal with major changes in their civilization a lot more easily than those who aren't.
517) The more people eat, the more they have sex. Eating huge diets does not result in obesity, but mass orgies. However, this has no effect on the local culture or the level of happiness (whose lack thereof can increase as the population does).
518) As soon as the Eiffel Tower was built, engineers all across the nation hastily built their own radio towers. Even though none of them were nearly as impressive as the Eiffel, many of them had even more effect on the local culture than the Eiffel did. However, nobody in surrounding countries even got started on their towers until later, sometimes many decades later, if ever.
519) Your citizens will get royally pissed off if you go to war with the nation that has Zeus' Statue. They are seriously worried that Zeus will punish their violence by striking them down with lightning bolts.
520) People of multiple religions within one city will always get along, even if one of the religions is declared the state religion.
521) Soldiers can become better trained by staring at a statue of a war chariot.
522) The effects of Stonehenge are living proof that aliens exist, and that they arrived on Earth thousands of years ago: they gave a nation several of its monuments.
523) Banks always have a 50% return rate on investments. However, if this offer is combined with any other investment, the 50% is calculated from the starting, not current, investment.
524) If the local theatre burns down, and volunteers agree to rebuild it, they will do so almost instantly.
525) A field worker, a horse, and a tank can all move at the same speed.
526) The Pyramids really do hold all the secrets...well, at least all the different theories of government.
527) Contrary to popular opinion, bureaucracy increases, not decreases, efficiency.
528) Notre Dame makes every one on the continent a little happier, even if they have never heard of Notre Dame.
529) Societies that are inherently spiritual can deal with major changes in their civilization a lot more easily than those who aren't.
fdgsgds
Mustard Enthusiast
Almost all of these have nothing to do with warfare but..............................................................
532) A rifleman killing a warrior will help equip it to kill other riflemen through experience.
533) A tribal village may give you the technology of Plolytheism before Hinduism has been founded. The villagers didn't know that Polytheism allowed Hinduism to be formed; or perhaps the villagers were to lazy to establish a religion.
534) "Future Tech" doesn't develop new weapons for war. Perhaps it develops iPhones or new treatments to make your people happy and healthy.
535) A worker (when automated) will commit a genocide of everybody in a town to construct a farm for a city.
536) A military unit must be so skilled as a commando to figure out how to use enemy roads.
537) When a soldier marches, it can heal. Those wounds on his body can easily be cured simply by marching... That is if you have the knowledge of MARCHING.
538) You may not know how to be nationalist and be patriotic for your country until a Great Artist tells you how or scientists present it to you.
539) Owning a large statue of the great presidents of the U.S.A. makes you happy and forget about the war that's going on in your homelands.
540) Slaves are able to be used to create a magnificent, beautiful structure such as the Temple of Artemis.
541) A few tanks can cost more to maintain than a city that has two million inhabitants.
542) Confucianism si a religion in the game, yet Zoroastrianism isn't.
543) 80% of the time Buddhism is founded before Hinduism is.
534) England always founds Confucianism!
535) Oil NEVER runs out. An oil resource that has existed since 4000 B.C. will be there even after being worked since the year 1900... When it is the year 3000.
536) You never knew that horses existed right on the town you settled on until you researched Animal Hunbandry.
537) Copper doesn't exist until you figure out how to make things out of something that is made out of copper.
538) In BtS, catapults can't kill units inside cities; yet they can bring them down to 30% Health or so.
532) A rifleman killing a warrior will help equip it to kill other riflemen through experience.
533) A tribal village may give you the technology of Plolytheism before Hinduism has been founded. The villagers didn't know that Polytheism allowed Hinduism to be formed; or perhaps the villagers were to lazy to establish a religion.
534) "Future Tech" doesn't develop new weapons for war. Perhaps it develops iPhones or new treatments to make your people happy and healthy.
535) A worker (when automated) will commit a genocide of everybody in a town to construct a farm for a city.
536) A military unit must be so skilled as a commando to figure out how to use enemy roads.
537) When a soldier marches, it can heal. Those wounds on his body can easily be cured simply by marching... That is if you have the knowledge of MARCHING.
538) You may not know how to be nationalist and be patriotic for your country until a Great Artist tells you how or scientists present it to you.
539) Owning a large statue of the great presidents of the U.S.A. makes you happy and forget about the war that's going on in your homelands.
540) Slaves are able to be used to create a magnificent, beautiful structure such as the Temple of Artemis.
541) A few tanks can cost more to maintain than a city that has two million inhabitants.
542) Confucianism si a religion in the game, yet Zoroastrianism isn't.
543) 80% of the time Buddhism is founded before Hinduism is.
534) England always founds Confucianism!
535) Oil NEVER runs out. An oil resource that has existed since 4000 B.C. will be there even after being worked since the year 1900... When it is the year 3000.
536) You never knew that horses existed right on the town you settled on until you researched Animal Hunbandry.
537) Copper doesn't exist until you figure out how to make things out of something that is made out of copper.
538) In BtS, catapults can't kill units inside cities; yet they can bring them down to 30% Health or so.
toll_booth
Warlord
- Joined
- Sep 21, 2008
- Messages
- 205
549) The people that have the most sex tend to live near farms. (See #517) This is because a LOT of people have a wheat or corn fetish, or perhaps they just like to roll in the hay.
550) People do not like for everyone to have voting rights. They would prefer that the elect vote in representatives, but they would really prefer to have a monarch plus lots of military in the city.
551) If people's moods are positively affected by the presence of military in the city, then they do not care what kind of troops they have; they just want *something*. They would be happier with two swordsmen than an M1A1 Abrams tank or F/A-18 jet fighter.
552) People do not mind fascist governments. They will be even more willing to submit to their authority and be less upset during war.
553) Buried under the Colossus is a state-of-the-art gold-mining machine.
554) The Scientific Method was not developed slowly, over time: Its discovery came all at once. Once your scientists discover the Scientific Method, scientific research does not pick up: it slows down some.
555) Great Scientists can emerge centuries before the widespread application of the Scientific Method.
556) If you have a grocer in your city, then wine and sugar are good for you.
557) People do not mind being spied on as long as the spy does not directly target civilians. That is for the government to worry about.
558) Terrorism is forbidden and effectively enforced by international law. However, spies sometimes get around this by destroying structures or buildings while they are vacant at night.
559) There has never been and will never be technology that allows ships to break apart ice.
550) People do not like for everyone to have voting rights. They would prefer that the elect vote in representatives, but they would really prefer to have a monarch plus lots of military in the city.
551) If people's moods are positively affected by the presence of military in the city, then they do not care what kind of troops they have; they just want *something*. They would be happier with two swordsmen than an M1A1 Abrams tank or F/A-18 jet fighter.
552) People do not mind fascist governments. They will be even more willing to submit to their authority and be less upset during war.
553) Buried under the Colossus is a state-of-the-art gold-mining machine.
554) The Scientific Method was not developed slowly, over time: Its discovery came all at once. Once your scientists discover the Scientific Method, scientific research does not pick up: it slows down some.
555) Great Scientists can emerge centuries before the widespread application of the Scientific Method.
556) If you have a grocer in your city, then wine and sugar are good for you.
557) People do not mind being spied on as long as the spy does not directly target civilians. That is for the government to worry about.
558) Terrorism is forbidden and effectively enforced by international law. However, spies sometimes get around this by destroying structures or buildings while they are vacant at night.
559) There has never been and will never be technology that allows ships to break apart ice.
ParadigmShifter
Random Nonsense Generator
560) Great Engineers can appear before you tech Engineering.
Whiskey_Lord
Deity
- Joined
- Jul 15, 2008
- Messages
- 2,163
562) It often takes two or three lifetimes to learn how to sharpen a stick at one end and throw it at animals.
563) It takes just as long to come up with a creation story.
564) People in the modern age feel perfectly safe having their metropolitan city guarded by a single, half-naked guy wielding a wooden club.
563) It takes just as long to come up with a creation story.
564) People in the modern age feel perfectly safe having their metropolitan city guarded by a single, half-naked guy wielding a wooden club.
toll_booth
Warlord
- Joined
- Sep 21, 2008
- Messages
- 205
566) Humans can run a lot faster on railroad tracks than they can on roads. Horses and tanks can move much faster along railroads, too.
567) Field workers born in India run faster than any land vehicle ever built. They can beat horses and tanks just by running on foot. They evolved this ability to evade all the snakes in their land.
568) Mass transit systems really do just go around in circles. But this makes people healthier because of all the beneficial gases that the electrical circuits give off.
567) Field workers born in India run faster than any land vehicle ever built. They can beat horses and tanks just by running on foot. They evolved this ability to evade all the snakes in their land.
568) Mass transit systems really do just go around in circles. But this makes people healthier because of all the beneficial gases that the electrical circuits give off.
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