Hi guys,
I ve just borrowed this from the Aployton website . It got me laughing for a while so i thought I ll do all of yous a favour by compiling some of the best ones they got on there
Hopefully this does not go against any forum regulation
You are invited to add to this list and stretch your imagination just a bit
You know you ve played too much Civ3 when.....
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
you wake up in the morning and you think you've just found a new source of oil
by smellymummy
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
when you hand your boss a sales report on your dealings with the treacherous Aztecs.
you ask your girlfriend if you can exchange territory maps (cheesy wink included).
you start waiting for Honda to release a patch that'll fix all the bugs in your accord.
you realize there's no salt in your area of the breakfast table and ask if your girlfriend would take your extra supply of butter and the knowledge of utensils in trade for it.
you pitch the idea of a "Civ 3 Weakest Link" episode to NBC, and place bets that Ghandi gets voted off first.
by Daveraver
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
when you start negotiating with your friends and parents in CIV terms. gold/turn, resources, technology, maps
by ElitePersian
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
when you are driving past the navy yard in Philadelphia on I-95 and all you can think is "wow it must have taken a lot of shields to build all those ships"
by deater
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
you are willing to used forced labor to get the yard mowed (today damnit)...after all you you have three kids and there are more where those came from.
you drive over the bridge at the creek and look at the field that always floods in heavy rain and think "this would be a good city site"
In the supermarket you stop to build roads to connect your buggy to the dairy and fresh fruit departments.
When you win an arguement with someone you spread your arms, laugh "ha, ha" and inform the room you have become elite
you want your kids to clean up their bloody mess so you run around screaming "Shift-P"
you decide to settle that property line dispute with your neighbor by building a cathedral in your back yard
you decide to skirt airport security by claiming you have a right of passage agreement
after airport security arrests you, you identify yourself as a resistor and advise them to garrison the city with strong military units...
After the judge puts you to work clearing a jungle you thank Sid there are no swamps on this map, and then
you bribe an offical to get you transfered to the capital because then you will at least be on the trading screen
by Jimmytrick
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
on a one night stand, the girl says "got rubber?" and you respond "I'll probably get insulted by such a proposal!"
by Buckethead
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"We would like to propose a deal."
"Uh... okay."
"We want large pepperoni pizza. We offer 7 gold. Will you accept this deal, Pizza Man?"
"Well, um, our large pepperoni pizza costs 8 dollars."
"We want large pepperoni pizza. We offer 8 gold. Will you accept this deal, Pizza Man?"
"I dunno what you mean, sir. We don't take gold."
"Never mind..."
"Uh.. sure."
"Would you like to trade world maps?"
"What?"
"That's it! Prepare for WAR!"
by fiveht
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
You get on a train and can't understand why it doesn't instantly teleport you to Glasgow.
by Seneca
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
When you're on a highway passing through cropfields and think; "the birthrate must be pretty high around this area"
by EEKthedog
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
you dig a mine outside your office to increase production.
by quinalla
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
When you're driving down the interstate, and glance longingly at the railway running parrallell to it, thinking how much faster it would be.
When you see yourself slowly overtaking a train, stunned, thinking "This Is Impossible!"
by Father Beast
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Someone is standing in your way, and you shout "Remove your forces from our territory or declare WAR!"...but not until after you switch over to communism, just in case.
Your boss tells you to hurry up and you reply: "Hurrying $IMPROVEMENT_WONDER_OR_UNIT0 could cost the lives of $NUM0 citizens."
by Aurochs
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
when you say politely to your girlfriend: "I'll show you mine if you'll show me yours"
by Alexnm
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
when you start moving in turns!
by FALVES
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
You begin constructing temples in your backyard in order to claim your porch and hopefully culturally conquer his house.
by Shadowstrike
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
when you realize you cannot get an education by trading your world maps
by crayonx_2K
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
When to get 25 gold you raid your neighbors yard
When you are sure that if you get your ten friends involved, that new tree will be full grown by tommorrow
When you see a poster of Mao, you wonder how they made it to the modern age because after all, you did raze their capitol
by GePap
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
when Queen Elizabeth starts to become attractive.
by Bubba_B
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
you explain to your college history professor, "But I was there when China razed Moscow, Washington, and Rome! I personally commanded those riders in their glorious attacks! THERE IS NO FRENCH CIVILIZATION!!! I eliminated it by 1AD!!!"
by Q Cubed
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
When you call the Pentagon and claim they are deceiving and mis-directing the public because: 1. Cruise Missiles can't be fired by ships AND 2. Our Bombers in Afghanistan are only wounding not killing anybody.
And then inform them that the best way to deal with the situation would be to raze all the cities to the ground, send in a few settlers, and build lots of temples and cathedrals to culturally assimulate everyone in the area...
You start shopping for Fur and Ivory for your girlfirend for Christmas insisting that it HAS to make her happy!
(...despite the fact that she's and environmentalist)
AND
At your weekly group meeting at work you put forth a memo claiming that burning incense in the office-place will make everyone happier!
THEN
When your boss asks you how long it should take to complete your project you claim 30 turns unless we rush build sacrificing Bob and Steve (worthless -- no value added employees) in which case he could have it tomorrow. (Note that Despotism is the official gov't at my office!)
FINALLY
You feel technologically accomplished being an Engineer since Engineering is pretty high up the tech tree but feel vastly inferior to your girlfriend who has a BS in Genetics...
by YahMon
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
* You set your work rate to 10%, because you'll finish it in 32 turns anyway.
* You take 1000$ to Wall Street and ask for your 50$ interest.
* You place an aqueduct in your garden so your kids can turn 7.
* You get sick and run around the house to find the remaining jungle.
* You watch CNN everyday fearing the Taliban will beat a tank with their warriors.
* You wonder how Bush got the patch that enables precision bombardment before us.
* You sneak into your neighbour's tree hut to find goodies.
* You get no goodies from the above hut but you disturb 3 angry neighbours who attack you.
* You think about shaving off all your hair after seeing Joan in modern times.
* You want to ask someone to leave your room, but are afraid he'll declare war.
* When you ask something to someone, you constantly have a little voice in your head that says 'They'll probably be insulted'
* You think you'll get a university course for free because you're 'scientific'.
* You offer people money just to get things done faster all the time.
* And of course you're not afraid to use the whip.
* You see fireworks on New Year and enjoy the fact that next year there won't be as much corruption.
* You've tried to Ctrl-U your CivII CD-ROM into a CivIII one.
* You hope we'll live long enough to enter another age, because then all buildings mysteriously mutate.
* You loan your walkman to your sister but only after making clear that the deal can be ended peacefully after 20 days.
* You do your homework and the next day you sell it to all your classmates because then you can rushbuild your new PC.
* You negotiate a passage agreement with your neighbour and then let your kids run up and down his yard 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.
* Your neighbour is forced to watch all their movement before he can do his own work.
* You ask your neighbour to surrender because 'your troops approach his door'.
* When he refuses you say 'you've overextended yourself' and negotiate peace.
* Then you make him pay 100$ because your advisor says it's acceptable.
* You cut all trees in your garden because it will speed up the car you're fixing in your garage.
* At work you ask your project 'leader' to sacrifice himself to rushbuild a wonder.
* On the next family reunion you suggest to hold elections for Secretary-General.
* You refuse to do anything 'because you've already moved' today.
* You destroy the road in front of your neighbour's house to cut him off from the trade network.
* You think life should be turn-based.
* When your boss is 'furious' you offer him, say 50 gold and expect him to lighten up.
* You think judgement day will be in 2050.
by StratAll
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
* Your wife mentions Sid Meyer by name During a marriage Counseling session.
* You mention Joan of Arc by name during sex.
* Your two year old daughter calls your PC the "little people computer".
* You are talking politics with friends at work and you use the term "MPP".
* You see a riot on TV and you worry about a nuclear meltdown.
* You think we should suspend airstrikes against Afghanastan until the patch comes out.
by greggbert
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
*Whenever your at a rifle range, you think damn, I forgot my saltpeter.
*When you're trying to send a message to the president, that he should discover Interigated Defence before the Russians, so he can trade them it for communications with the French.
*When someone tells you that they are unhappy, you tell them to aquire some incense or build JS Bach's Cathederal to make them content.
*When someone says that the there is too much pollution on earth, you ask them if they've tried SHIFT+C.
*When you need to know what time it is, you ask someone what turn it is.
by Alex 14
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I ve just borrowed this from the Aployton website . It got me laughing for a while so i thought I ll do all of yous a favour by compiling some of the best ones they got on there
Hopefully this does not go against any forum regulation
You are invited to add to this list and stretch your imagination just a bit
You know you ve played too much Civ3 when.....
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
you wake up in the morning and you think you've just found a new source of oil
by smellymummy
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
when you hand your boss a sales report on your dealings with the treacherous Aztecs.
you ask your girlfriend if you can exchange territory maps (cheesy wink included).
you start waiting for Honda to release a patch that'll fix all the bugs in your accord.
you realize there's no salt in your area of the breakfast table and ask if your girlfriend would take your extra supply of butter and the knowledge of utensils in trade for it.
you pitch the idea of a "Civ 3 Weakest Link" episode to NBC, and place bets that Ghandi gets voted off first.
by Daveraver
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
when you start negotiating with your friends and parents in CIV terms. gold/turn, resources, technology, maps
by ElitePersian
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
when you are driving past the navy yard in Philadelphia on I-95 and all you can think is "wow it must have taken a lot of shields to build all those ships"
by deater
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
you are willing to used forced labor to get the yard mowed (today damnit)...after all you you have three kids and there are more where those came from.
you drive over the bridge at the creek and look at the field that always floods in heavy rain and think "this would be a good city site"
In the supermarket you stop to build roads to connect your buggy to the dairy and fresh fruit departments.
When you win an arguement with someone you spread your arms, laugh "ha, ha" and inform the room you have become elite
you want your kids to clean up their bloody mess so you run around screaming "Shift-P"
you decide to settle that property line dispute with your neighbor by building a cathedral in your back yard
you decide to skirt airport security by claiming you have a right of passage agreement
after airport security arrests you, you identify yourself as a resistor and advise them to garrison the city with strong military units...
After the judge puts you to work clearing a jungle you thank Sid there are no swamps on this map, and then
you bribe an offical to get you transfered to the capital because then you will at least be on the trading screen
by Jimmytrick
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
on a one night stand, the girl says "got rubber?" and you respond "I'll probably get insulted by such a proposal!"
by Buckethead
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"We would like to propose a deal."
"Uh... okay."
"We want large pepperoni pizza. We offer 7 gold. Will you accept this deal, Pizza Man?"
"Well, um, our large pepperoni pizza costs 8 dollars."
"We want large pepperoni pizza. We offer 8 gold. Will you accept this deal, Pizza Man?"
"I dunno what you mean, sir. We don't take gold."
"Never mind..."
"Uh.. sure."
"Would you like to trade world maps?"
"What?"
"That's it! Prepare for WAR!"
by fiveht
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
You get on a train and can't understand why it doesn't instantly teleport you to Glasgow.
by Seneca
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
When you're on a highway passing through cropfields and think; "the birthrate must be pretty high around this area"
by EEKthedog
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
you dig a mine outside your office to increase production.
by quinalla
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
When you're driving down the interstate, and glance longingly at the railway running parrallell to it, thinking how much faster it would be.
When you see yourself slowly overtaking a train, stunned, thinking "This Is Impossible!"
by Father Beast
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Someone is standing in your way, and you shout "Remove your forces from our territory or declare WAR!"...but not until after you switch over to communism, just in case.
Your boss tells you to hurry up and you reply: "Hurrying $IMPROVEMENT_WONDER_OR_UNIT0 could cost the lives of $NUM0 citizens."
by Aurochs
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
when you say politely to your girlfriend: "I'll show you mine if you'll show me yours"
by Alexnm
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
when you start moving in turns!
by FALVES
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
You begin constructing temples in your backyard in order to claim your porch and hopefully culturally conquer his house.
by Shadowstrike
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
when you realize you cannot get an education by trading your world maps
by crayonx_2K
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
When to get 25 gold you raid your neighbors yard
When you are sure that if you get your ten friends involved, that new tree will be full grown by tommorrow
When you see a poster of Mao, you wonder how they made it to the modern age because after all, you did raze their capitol
by GePap
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
when Queen Elizabeth starts to become attractive.
by Bubba_B
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
you explain to your college history professor, "But I was there when China razed Moscow, Washington, and Rome! I personally commanded those riders in their glorious attacks! THERE IS NO FRENCH CIVILIZATION!!! I eliminated it by 1AD!!!"
by Q Cubed
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
When you call the Pentagon and claim they are deceiving and mis-directing the public because: 1. Cruise Missiles can't be fired by ships AND 2. Our Bombers in Afghanistan are only wounding not killing anybody.
And then inform them that the best way to deal with the situation would be to raze all the cities to the ground, send in a few settlers, and build lots of temples and cathedrals to culturally assimulate everyone in the area...
You start shopping for Fur and Ivory for your girlfirend for Christmas insisting that it HAS to make her happy!
(...despite the fact that she's and environmentalist)
AND
At your weekly group meeting at work you put forth a memo claiming that burning incense in the office-place will make everyone happier!
THEN
When your boss asks you how long it should take to complete your project you claim 30 turns unless we rush build sacrificing Bob and Steve (worthless -- no value added employees) in which case he could have it tomorrow. (Note that Despotism is the official gov't at my office!)
FINALLY
You feel technologically accomplished being an Engineer since Engineering is pretty high up the tech tree but feel vastly inferior to your girlfriend who has a BS in Genetics...
by YahMon
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
* You set your work rate to 10%, because you'll finish it in 32 turns anyway.
* You take 1000$ to Wall Street and ask for your 50$ interest.
* You place an aqueduct in your garden so your kids can turn 7.
* You get sick and run around the house to find the remaining jungle.
* You watch CNN everyday fearing the Taliban will beat a tank with their warriors.
* You wonder how Bush got the patch that enables precision bombardment before us.
* You sneak into your neighbour's tree hut to find goodies.
* You get no goodies from the above hut but you disturb 3 angry neighbours who attack you.
* You think about shaving off all your hair after seeing Joan in modern times.
* You want to ask someone to leave your room, but are afraid he'll declare war.
* When you ask something to someone, you constantly have a little voice in your head that says 'They'll probably be insulted'
* You think you'll get a university course for free because you're 'scientific'.
* You offer people money just to get things done faster all the time.
* And of course you're not afraid to use the whip.
* You see fireworks on New Year and enjoy the fact that next year there won't be as much corruption.
* You've tried to Ctrl-U your CivII CD-ROM into a CivIII one.
* You hope we'll live long enough to enter another age, because then all buildings mysteriously mutate.
* You loan your walkman to your sister but only after making clear that the deal can be ended peacefully after 20 days.
* You do your homework and the next day you sell it to all your classmates because then you can rushbuild your new PC.
* You negotiate a passage agreement with your neighbour and then let your kids run up and down his yard 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.
* Your neighbour is forced to watch all their movement before he can do his own work.
* You ask your neighbour to surrender because 'your troops approach his door'.
* When he refuses you say 'you've overextended yourself' and negotiate peace.
* Then you make him pay 100$ because your advisor says it's acceptable.
* You cut all trees in your garden because it will speed up the car you're fixing in your garage.
* At work you ask your project 'leader' to sacrifice himself to rushbuild a wonder.
* On the next family reunion you suggest to hold elections for Secretary-General.
* You refuse to do anything 'because you've already moved' today.
* You destroy the road in front of your neighbour's house to cut him off from the trade network.
* You think life should be turn-based.
* When your boss is 'furious' you offer him, say 50 gold and expect him to lighten up.
* You think judgement day will be in 2050.
by StratAll
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
* Your wife mentions Sid Meyer by name During a marriage Counseling session.
* You mention Joan of Arc by name during sex.
* Your two year old daughter calls your PC the "little people computer".
* You are talking politics with friends at work and you use the term "MPP".
* You see a riot on TV and you worry about a nuclear meltdown.
* You think we should suspend airstrikes against Afghanastan until the patch comes out.
by greggbert
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
*Whenever your at a rifle range, you think damn, I forgot my saltpeter.
*When you're trying to send a message to the president, that he should discover Interigated Defence before the Russians, so he can trade them it for communications with the French.
*When someone tells you that they are unhappy, you tell them to aquire some incense or build JS Bach's Cathederal to make them content.
*When someone says that the there is too much pollution on earth, you ask them if they've tried SHIFT+C.
*When you need to know what time it is, you ask someone what turn it is.
by Alex 14
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
No damn catchy line, been to occupied by the game, didn't spend the time to come up with one.
