Dear People of the World,
It is I, General_W of the Ninjas with an important announcement!
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You know… General_W!
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The voice of SANCTA. Diplomat emeritus. Creator of the Inner Sanctum Documentaries.
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Well, they were a series of videos commenting on the news and stuff.
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Well, I suppose it has been quite a while, but surely you must remember them?
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No? really? Doesn’t even ring a bell?
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Ok then… well anyway – I have some news now.
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Would you let it go?! I’m sorry I’ve been gone so long… just get over it already. Sheesh.
After a long sabbatical, I have returned to find my once glorious team totally eviscerated. Krill is gone. Memphus has been driven out. General_a
Wol can’t be trusted anywhere near the reigns of power. And the rest of the ninjas? A motley assortment of lurkers, drive-by posters, and semi-actives that can’t play the save. It’s a sad deal.
Already the government is on some sort of horrific night-of-the-undead auto pilot that somehow manages to be both inefficient AND slow. Clearly not a good situation for anyone on any team. Our current operations are unfair to the people on other teams who want a real fight, and also seriously un-fun for those who remember that this is still, afterall, a game.
The best of our bad options seems to be turning over our empire to the AI who can at least get the save played on time and offer an imitation of strategy.
In the interests of full disclosure – we offered all of our cities to team SATURN to do with as they wish. They have been our allies in-game and our sudden departure will move them from the grim situation of 3v2 into the horrifying situation of 3v1. We were trying to find the best way to honor a very close alliance and attempt to leave Saturn with something resembling a sporting chance.
SATURN declined most of our cities, and we have opted, instead, to gift them to team KAZAKSTAN in an effort to keep this game interesting.
We’re letting the rest of you know about our intentions and actions, so that if you’d like to make your arguments to eachother about how the cities get passed out – you can do that. Don’t bother arguing with us about it. Our complaints department is totally understaffed, and I doubt you’ll get much response. I’m pretty sure Automatedteller still reads the notes from the complaints box… but by “reads” I mean “takes them down to the bar to read at the open-mike comedy improv session to a bunch of drunk ninjas” for whatever that’s worth.
We should be completely out of this game in about 2 turns. We’re sorry to do this to all of you.
Really we are. We literally have no good options left – and we sincerely hope that the game goes on to provide many hours of fun and enjoyment for every team left. We’ve had a lot of fun, and are sorry to end on a bum note. Hopefully the sad end of the Ninjas doesn’t totally wipe away the memories of all the good times.
I met a traveller from an antique land
Who said: Two vast and trunkless legs of stone
Stand in the desert. Near them, on the sand,
Half sunk, a shattered visage lies, whose frown
And wrinkled lip, and sneer of cold command
Tell that its sculptor well those passions read
Which yet survive, stamped on these lifeless things,
The hand that mocked them and the heart that fed.
And on the pedestal these words appear:
“My Name is OzyNinjas, king of kings:
Look on my works, ye Might, and despair!”
Nothing beside remains. Round the decay
Of that colossal wreck, boundless and bare
The lone and level sands stretch far away.
Good luck everyone!
Have fun.