100 signs that you may be an AI civ

[undertoad]

1. You're building a Courthouse in your capital city (I've seen this...)

2. You've built a Courthouse in your capital city. Now it's time to build a Police Station.

2. You love buying Maps and poring over them to spot that 3x3 patch of tundra on the other side of the world no-one has built on. This gives your empire a new sense of purpose as you send a Settler'n'Spearman on an epic sea-voyage out to it. Don't worry about the 17 turns it'll take to get there - it'll be worth the wait!

3. Settler'n'Spearman is the killer unit-combination in CivIII. It's just unbeatable, especially in enemy territory.

4. When at war, you don't waste units defending any of your resource tiles. Especially if they're militarily important (Horses, Saltpetre, Rubber). This is doubly true if they're right on the coast.

5. Having your resources pillaged is a good thing. It removes all those confusing, expensive modern units from the build-list and lets you concentrate on building Longbowmen.

6. Used effectively, Longbowmen are so awesome they're almost an exploit.

7. The best way to use Longbowmen is to take advantage of their attack 4/defense 1 value. This means sending them out into the open, especially when your enemy has lots of Cavalry around. Never keep them in cities to bombard attackers.

8. Always send out Longbowmen singly and separately to cover as many tiles as possible. Longbowmen need a bit of personal space to draw their bows, and don't like sharing a tile with other units. By following this simple rule you can occupy 5 tiles around the city your enemy has just conquered. This will scare him so much that he'll run away.

9. When you see your enemy move a stack of 10 Artillery and 1 Infantry close to your capital, don't bother attacking it. Artillery has an attack value of 0, why are human players so obsessed with building it?

 

[ElCommanchero]

10)When you're the first to colonise a new landform distant from your exceedingly crowded mainland, you'll remember to NEVER build more than one city and only ever defend it with one warrior.

10b) Ensure that this city is established away from the valuable sources of iron and food down the other end of the island, these might attract enemies.

 

[undertoad]

10b) Ensure that this city is established away from the valuable sources of iron and food down the other end of the island, these might attract enemies.

Oh yes, I mean you wouldn't want to benefit from that island, would you?

Which reminds me:

11. Some tiles have cows on them. Cows are dangerous. Just look at those horns man! Don't settle near them. Your Workers might step in a cowpat and get all mucky, or catch foot'n'mouth disease. Scientific studies show that building cities either side of the cow, making sure no city has it in its radius, will keep you safe from these horrible effects.

and:

12. Magnetism is a very important tech. This is because it allows Frigates, and every Galleon must be escorted by at least 2 Frigates. Preferably 3.

13. But you don't need that many Frigates. Sending just 1 Galleon and 3 Frigates over and dropping off 3 land units is the most effective way to invade another continent. Never bombard with the Frigates - Saltpetre doesn't grow on trees, you know!

14. Never enter the Industrial Era without researching Democracy and Free Artistry first. If you do, bad things will happen.

14a. Shakespeare's Theatre is the best Wonder ever.

15. In the Industrial era, the most important techs are Fascism and Communism. Steam Power, Electricity and Replaceable Parts are pretty useless. But if you really want them for some reason, don't worry: the human player will happily trade all 3 for Fascism or Communism.

 

[Sparthage]

#16 Artillery units are only to be used for city defense. (I've never seen them used offensively)

edit: Since Spoonwood so rudely took my #16, I'll number mine 22.

edit 2: Thanks Spoonwood. You didn't have to do that, but I appreciate it.

 

[Spoonwood]

I think I've seen artillery used offensively by the AI on Sid level before. I think other players have spotted this too. Not sure of the thread where I read that before, but I do recall one.

22. Play to win ALL the victory conditions simultaneously.

17. Always, and stubbornly insist, on spacing your cities such that you have plenty of tiles you can't use in your territory.

18. Irrigate as much as you can while in despotism.

19. If a city hits size 12, don't mine or forest watered tiles.

20. Always attempt to build every wonder. Disregard input that tells you that the Aztecs started on The Big University 30 turns ago.

 

[Daeron]

21. 80-120 gold for one of your workers is always a good price. It's not like improving terrain is a key to success.

 

[IvanDolvich2]

23: All amphibious landings can take place only in ONE location! Never, try to put your troops onto an new beach! The enemy might be waiting for you you somewhere else, and all landing craft operators can only work off of one beach! Stick to the plan! It will eventually work!

 

[templar_x]

24. vessels can only DROP units, but never pick them up again.

25. military great leaders can rush things those "human players" (HP) cannot build, that´s wonders. so why ever use them to build an army?

26. you cannot reload, even if you´d want to.

27. it does not matter how obvious an HP attack is about to come, you´ll make a costly deal before he ROP rapes you.

28. whenever an enemy approaches your capital, it´s the best time to start building a wonder.

templar_x

 

[The Omega]

29. When establishing a new city on a landmass across water, don't build it on the coast. Water's dangerous, man. People could drown in it.

30. Related to the above: Rivers? Keep your cities away from those as well.

31. On the other hand, next to a volcano is the single best location for a city. It helps keep your citizens warm during the winter.

 

[IvanDolvich2]

32. Submarines: Pretend like you don't know where the submarines are so that you can accidentally "trip" over them and declare war on your allies.

 

[Ataxerxes]

33. Make a great deal getting Gold per Turn for a tech when you're planning to attack. The Foreign Adviser and the Military Adviser hate each other.

34. Why waste a great general on a wonder? There must be some city somewhere that needs a temple rushed. Army? What's that?

 

[Spoonwood]

edit: Since spoonwood so rudely took my #16, I'll number mine 22.

I don't think you had a numerical label, so my mistake for not recognizing the content of what you said. You can have your 16. back. I've changed my first entry to 22. anticipating that you want this back. No offense meant.

 

[Spoonwood]

35. If the human's capital doesn't have any units in it, and it lies on an island, and you "want" to attack them, send your units to attack that capital no matter what. So what if they have a slew of units one tile away from it? There doesn't exist any close distance to the capital. Only on the condition that there exist units in the capital does it have any defense.

 

[Aabraxan]

36. Corollary to #11. Cows have horns & are dangerous. The only safe alternative to building far from away them is building your cities on top of them.

 

[Jayrad]

37. upgrading is for humans always keep spearmen they can beat tanks

 

[TheOverseer714]

37: Always build regulars, that gives them more chances to promote.

38: Builds tons of cheap units and never, ever disband them.

39: Keep unit support so high and money all spent so that random units disband in the field.

 

[del62]

40 : That important Iron resource, build your important city to knab it 2 tiles away, so it can be knabbed off you

 

[ElCommanchero]

41: Contain a clear majority of all the useful resources in the game reducing the human player to building Guerillas, do not under ANY circumstances attempt to connect a road to them and make use of them.

 

[del62]

42: You have the upperhand in the war and are about to take a city, when peace is offered and you take it.

 

[undertoad]

Corollary to:

23: All amphibious landings can take place only in ONE location! Never, try to put your troops onto an new beach! The enemy might be waiting for you you somewhere else, and all landing craft operators can only work off of one beach! Stick to the plan! It will eventually work!

43. When an enemy lands on your continent, immediately send your entire military to deal with it. You must destroy that 1 Musketman, and if it takes 25 Cavalry and 10 Longbowmen to do the job properly, so be it! Feint attacks, multiple landing-points, pincer movements? What are they?