What will you do in this type of situation? I tried sharing same religion, gifting techs etc. It helped a bit but still they'll attack even I have like 10 units per city.
with scary neighbors, i pick a list of friends, and a list of "you're the guy i don't expect to like me much, i'll likely earn a lot of -s with you." the big fat key is, make sure that your friends are friends with
each other. say you've been grooming both alex and shaka as pals, and have OB/resource trades going. you could be in trouble if alex is shaka's worst enemy, since he'll come by demanding that you cancel trading with the vile greeks at some point. no matter which way you answer, you'll get a -1 with one or the other.
each leader can have only one worst enemy at a time, and often don't have one at all. if they're cautious or higher with someone, that person isn't a worst enemy. but pay attention to which pals of yours are annoyed or worse with each other. one thing you might try to do is bribe (or use spies in BtS now) shaka into alex's favorite civic. actually that won't work since they're both in the same column but you get the idea ... that would start earning alex +s with shaka. blah blah stuff like that.
I don't think it is possible to win at higher difficulties without much warmongering. If left at peace the AI has too many advantages over the human player.
it is. note that i haven't tried it at high difficulties in BtS yet. i'm still trying out goofy variants at lower levels than i usually play, to get a feel for things. with that disclaimer out of the way, i like playing with their heads and fighting wars is, like, dangerous. so when i'm in that mood i aim for that sort of game, laying the groundwork early. most of my games have been won by what i'm sure you'd call "without much warmongering", and definitely at least half i never started a war myself.
yes i'm an oddball. but it is possible. and challenging, which is part of the fun and why i try to do it *giggle*
yes, even deity. the trick there is play OCC. well, at least it's the only way i can win. you have one fantastic city and you never have to worry about the landgrab, which is a huge part of the reason for the warmongering in the first place

. they sprawl out so fast on that level! not having to even think about competing in the (early) race for space (on earth in the BCs) frees me to do other stuff which is a huge change from, well, other people's typical games.