I do not normally load my game. I used to, but I found it made the game less rewarding for me. It also makes me really have to think before I blitzkrieg with a hero or other valuable unit.
That said, I haven't had any real problem with lairs that I haven't had before. Being near a dense jungle full of ruins is never fun. Skeletons are still easy pickings, especially once I figured out that they would attack units in the field without much hesitation. That might be your problem. Sitting in your city won't work anymore. You have to venture outside your walls and actively engage the barbarian units. This means a few extra warriors, but it also means fewer turns spent in the early game doing nothing but hitting enter, enter, enter, enter...
On the subject of taking out lairs, I always save that for when I have a good surplus of strong units (probably after a conquest or two). A stack of five usually gets the job done. Epic lairs I steer clear of until much later when I've got bigger stacks and direct damage backup.