Boondoggle & Pork, Lobbyists

[Danke]

Have a special interest that is being ignored by our leaders? Need special sway in your Poll? A vote early and often campaign boost? You've come to the right place!

At Boondoggle & Pork, we're masters at getting the Special Attention You Need (tm) for your coveted plan, constitutional change, or get-rich-quick scheme.

For a sliding scale starting as low as 1gpt and ending somewhere north of there, we can offer these individual and highly customized services:

Lessee. Well, for 1 gpt, we can monitor your thread traffic and post occaisionally when things get slow to make sure people come in to see what's new.

For 20 gpt, we get really fancy and analyze who your market is, and do targeted PMs to potential customers who have not yet purchased, for example, Ministers and other Gov't officials who might need extra security.

For 100gpt we'll do a full SWOT (strengths, weaknesses, opportunities, threats) analysis, recommend marketing approaches, and solicit for gov't contracts. There will likely be bootlicking involved.

The Get Me Into Office program provides campaign strategy consultation, campaign management, candidate training, speech and concept assistance, candidate promotion and thread management services for the package price of 800g.

Package elements are also available individually:

Strategy Consultation: 100g
Campaign Management: 300g
Speech and Concept Assistance: 300g
Candidate Promotion: 300g
Thread Management Services: 200g

Don't think you can beat that incumbent official? Yes you can! Not sure what position to run for, or even how many elections to participate in? We do! Are there skeletons in your closet that must remain buried? All of our employees carry shovels and tasers as part of their basic equipment! Want the finest candidate promotion available? You found it!

Don't leave your dreams of elected office to chance. Hire the professionals who can make you a winner. Boondoggle & Pork has an impressive current record of 2 wins, no losses and 1 tie in the Get Me Into Office Program.

 

[Almightyjosh]

Two things, first, how much to get you to promote my bodyguard and mercinary service? I'm just starting up, so I can't afford much. Or have I come to the wrong place? Do I need to start an advertising agency and employ myself?

 

[Danke]

No, no, step inside! No job too small, no fee too high.

Lessee. Well, for 1 gpt, we can monitor your thread traffic and post occaisionally when things get slow to make sure people come in to see what's new.

For 20 gpt, we get really fancy and analyze who your market is, and do targeted PMs to potential customers who have not yet purchased, for example, Ministers and other Gov't officials who might need extra security.

For 100gpt we'll do a full SWOT (strengths, weaknesses, opportunities, threats) analysis, recommend marketing approaches, and solicit for gov't contracts. There will likely be bootlicking involved.

Of course, we can always work out some piece of your costs as barter for services. I may need a bodyguard. Do you offer palanquin bearers?

 

[Almightyjosh]

Sorry, no palanquins, but I can offer services as a bodyguard or mercinary. Lets see... You must travel alot in your line of work...
I can offer to provide you with a fast horse and a well armed bodyguard (me personally at the moment) between cities as well as camping gear, rations and medical treatment on the road.
All this normaly costs about 70g per trip between cities (much cheaper than the 300-400g you would need to but all the stuff).
Plus I can provide in-city bodyguarding for about 5-10gpt. I offer these prices as estimates in the hope of effecting a mutually beneficial deal.

I certainly don't need a SWOT (though maybe if I am really established down the track), but I like the 20gpt plan. What would you need for that in terms of combining services and gold (while I like the plan, I'm sure you can understand that a fledgeling buisness cannot afford quite so much, especially one with high overheads adn establishment cost!)

 

[Danke]

Ah... Well, Hmm.

Since we don't have cities yet, travelling between them seems moot, for the moment. The in-city (or currently: in the valley, between the one place, and that other, different place) bodyguarding could be helpful, as there seem to be a lot of people arming themselves to the teeth. In exchange, I'll provide the Plan B option for the low low price of the in-village bodyguard service and 13gpt.

How's that sound?

 

[Almightyjosh]

Sounds good to me, if you throw in a simple 1gpt plan for the useful items shop. I'll lend you a horse!

 

[Danke]

Perfect, as I'm likely to have to sell my horse once all these business startup bills arrive

Looks like we have a deal!

(tacks 1st gold piece proudly to wall)

 

[Danke]

This is to announce that Boondoggle & Pork, Lobbyists has officially set up their new hut on Fanatika Square, which is that dusty area with the twigs marking it off, down there by the big rock. I encourage all other businesses to join us there, making Fanatika Square a, uh, what's it called? a 'central-bidness district'.

Must be called that cause people bid on things....

 

[Danke]

As soon as I figure out the rules, this will be an official business.

Lot's of room in Fanatika Square, by the way. Just mentioning it.

 

[disorganizer]

Advertisment space!

I would like to be your employee... thats how it will work:

As you lobby things or people or businesses, i have a good offer for you:

I have plenty of posts where i would like to offer advertisment space.

We must talk about payment though.
Who to:
* I offer 1 line of advertisment space for any kind of lobbying, advertising for a business etc.
* I will only hold one add at a time
* The ad will be of size=0
* Coloring of the ad will cost 2* the price
* Custom formatting will cost additional 2* the price
* Url-Implementation will cost additional 2* the price
* Title- or Location Ad will cost 5* the price
* Avatar-Ad will cost 10* the price
* I get payed for as long as i hold the ad in my signature, the duration will be set in advance and payment is done in advance
* If i get forced to remove the ad by a 3rd party which is not under my controll (like mods), then the payment for the outstanding time will not be given back
* the price for a campaign will be fixed at the signing time of the contract according to my postcount on that day.
* if the contract is canceled from my side, then you get the outstanding money back (like i did 1 day and you payed 6, you get the money for 5 days back from me).
* if you cancel the contract before the time is up, you only get 50% of the outstanding money back (like i did 1 day and you payed 6, you get money for 3 days back).

Example:
If we comply on 1/100 gold per post, rounding up on posts per day (rl) and i have 2500 posts at the moment we sign the contract:

This would cost you 25 gold per day for a plain text ad.
plain text: 25gpd
colored only: 50gpd
bolded without color: 50gpd
bolded with color: 100gpd
plain with url: 50gpd
colored with url: 100gpd
bolded with url, no color: 100gpd
bolded and colored with url: 200gpd

if you decide to do an plain text campaign with url for 10 days, this will cost you 500gold in total in this example. the high-end version will of course be 2000gold. and the low-end no-url version would be 250 gold.

gpd=gold per day (real time days) from the signing of the contract for the number of days specified for each campaign.

THE IDEA OF SELLING SIGNATURE- OR OTHER POST-BASED ADVERTISMENT-SPACE IS PATENTED TO DISORGNAIZER.
LICENSES CAN BE OBTAINED FROM HIM AT A RESONABLE PRICE OF 50% OF THE RESULTING INCOME.
ANY COPYING OF THIS IDEA OR THE CONCEPT WILL BE PROSCECUTED!

 

[Danke]

Interesting idea, though your pricing is a bit steep (and by steep I mean far exceeds what I make on a contract). Of course you will need that much to pay Shaitan to prosecute your copyright infringement suits

 

[disorganizer]

sure. but as i said, we should talk about payments. now what would be suitable on a daily basis for a simple plain-text ad?

 

[disorganizer]

example: a normal citizen will (out of the current rule proposal) earn 30 gold per 10 days (roughly). having it up to 25 per 10 days? would that be ok? you could then still make profit out of it.

 

[Danke]

Dis, I think it is a good idea, but I am not making any financial deals until 1) my business is officially registered, and 2) there is actual consensus on the RPG rules. Right now I don't know how much money I have, am earning, am spending, or will owe.

 

[Shaitan]

Originally posted by Danke
Interesting idea, though your pricing is a bit steep (and by steep I mean far exceeds what I make on a contract). Of course you will need that much to pay Shaitan to prosecute your copyright infringement suits

Apro, Poe & Nuffin would be happy to represent disorganizer in defending his copyrite.

 

[Shaitan]

What would it cost to harrass department leaders until they vote on outstanding Council Votes? Same thing with governors and Legislative Votes.

 

[Almightyjosh]

I thought you and CT did that for free!!

 

[Shaitan]

Yeah, but if I can pay someone else to do it...

Plus I may need to contract this service for one of my own customers.

 

[Shaitan]

Danke: Apro, Poe & Nuffin is ready to assist your business in registering. Do you have a more developed price list? If you do, we'll need it to make sure your business is classified correctly.

 

[Danke]

Originally posted by Shaitan
What would it cost to harrass department leaders until they vote on outstanding Council Votes? Same thing with governors and Legislative Votes.

Just harassing with no intent to sway is cheap; harassing with motive costs a bit more