BOTM 53 -- Final Spoiler Game submitted or abandoned

[cain3456]

I'm sure anyone else playing for culture VC was happy to hear that you left some room for improvement... .

Go ahead, rub it in

 

[jesusin]

Nice game Jesusin! Glad to see the family life isn't keeping you too busy to play,

You implemented this game concept much better than I would have done, congatulations!

It was a really fun game to play.
By the way, I wonder if most of the fun came from the abundance of food, that allows every player to develop their preferred strategy.

 

[jesusin]

Go ahead, rub it in

I am willing to compare our games and comment on especific details of yours, if you are interested.

My first impression when reading your spoiler was that your game wasn't focussed enough (a bit of this, a bit of that, a war here, a Corporation there... not a clear cut plan from beginning to end).

 

[cain3456]

Yeah, pretty much. I've gotten burned by trying to make a plan and have it destroyed. There was one game where I started with Mysticism and was determined to go the religious route. After going 0/3 in the religious techs, my game was a complete mess. So I try to leave a failsafe if something doesn't work.

 

[Htadus]

Nice game jesusin and glad your playing.

I too were heading toward a culture game with 3 hammer and cottaged LC cities with several GP farms.

My game never went pass 0AD at the submittal date.

I did a goofy right up for this game. May be I will post it later.

 

[Htadus]

Two bodies lay on a rock outcropping amidst hills and desert. Nary a slice of bread or water within site. One begin to stir........

Spoiler :

Monti....Monti...Wake up....Waaake uuuup.
Waaaahat?
What did you do last night Monti?
What do you......where the hell are we?
That is what I want to know. You were talking to those,,,those things you thought were women and you said "its a deal" And the next thing I know, I am waking up on this hill top next to you.

They were women....oh god my head...
No...you were drunk and they were....I don’t know....were weird...what did they say and what was the deal.
Just give me a freakin minute to remember...hum...let’s see... I think their leader was called KilConqDomi Sweet, and she said....
It was not a she.
Alright..alright.....it said that it feels sad for my failed life and would be happy to give me a chance to redo it all aver again.
Wait....I think redo's are not permitted.
What..?..will you just shut up and listen htadus. Well I was given a chance to relive a noble life in a place far far away and I agreed to the deal.
Ok....so where are we and what are we supposed to do? And what is in your pocket? And what do I get?
I have no idea where we are at but I think i am supposed to build a Noble empire that will stand the test of time. Oh. this is a map in my pocket. As for you..You are to help me....explore....avoid getting eaten by lions.....
What was that last part?
Nothhhhhing....

Two Friend study the map.

Spoiler :

We cannot stay here. I think we should start our Capital in a good location. We need food and water to survive and people to improve the land. We need to grow Town out of cottages, farms, mines and pastures...and..
Enough already....where is this city going to be?
I see a golden hill in this Map, we can go there,
You can't eat gold you know.It is always about food with you. Ok what about this place with seafood?
Do you know how to catch fish? And I am not looking forward to fish after all the sushi we ate recently for a Challenge Series.
No I don't know how to fish. Ok what about that place to SE with Deer and Pigs?
That is not bad. You know how to hunt. Not bad. Too bad KilConqDomi Sweet did not find some gold for us near the Deer. Hope there is gems or silve nearby. Ok I am going to head toward the gold. How are we going to keep in touch?
Just keep your eyes open. What you see, I will see. It is part of the deal.
What? Did you hit your head on that rock?
Just go. Go discover the world.

Monti begin his journey toward the promised land to SE while htadus run toward the gold. Four turns later Monti finds forested plains where his citizens can harwest both deer and the cow. His factories will have plenty of production from nearby hills and has a wine grove nearby to make wine when they learn how to ferment.

Spoiler :

So are you going to build a palace there? And then what is the plan?
Yes I am and since I am a peace lover, I think I will build several Cities of Legendary Culture. What do you think?
, , really? I always saw you as a blood thirsty backstabber. Look what you did to me; I am roaming around the uncharted world dodging or fighting lions and bears.
Be serious and listen. I am thinking I need to discover a religion for our people and build wonderful buildings to attract great people. it just i do not have clue what kind of buildings to build.
Monti do you remember old world history from school? Nooo I did not think so. Anyways, there are several buildings discovered in the old world that attracted many pilgrimages. The Stonehenge of Britannia and Greek Oracle comes to mind. We already know how to build the Stonehenge. But the most important thing is we need 2 more good city locations for this. I can take care of exploration and you start learning about new religion.
Sounds like a great plan buddy...I mean advisor. See I got you a fancy title. Please don't get eaten by...

With this briefest of plans, Monti established his capital and began to search the knowledge of Multideism. Meanwhile he began to train a worker to care for the land around his capital. Then he heard a haunting bell ringing in the heaven.

Spoiler :

Monti, are you there? We just met a most peculiar fellow that i recall from the old worlds history. He is much worse than your namesake historical figure Montezuma. This guy does not like us humans. His name is Tokugava.
Oh how splendid, a friend. I shall invite him to my palace and we will have the most fantastic time. I feel so giddy. lonely no more. Yay.
And what am I? Well I hate to reign in your party but there is a problem. He won't let anyone into his kingdom unless you make him happy.
That is no problem, we just learned a new religion I call Hindism. i can convert him to it and we can be friends.
I think it is called Hinduism and that is not going to be easy without being invited. Also we do not know how to write yet to formalize a treaty.
Ok you are freaking me out. How do you know all this stuff?
It is called paying attention in school and remembering.
Oh...ok..sorry... now go....and do discover more....

For the next few hundred years htadus traversed the vast wilderness in search of suitalbe land for the second city, However it was Monties first warrior who discovered a large cash of marble and another deer to the east of the capital. Once the capital was grown to joyous capacity, a new settler party was trained and sent to establish a new city for the fledgling empire on a plains hill. This city would discover another important resource later. This city is to become Monties second legendary Culture city.

Spoiler :

Congrat buddy. You are going to get another city soon. So what are you going to build there?
First, I think you need to stop calling me buddy. You know, with me being more important these days. How about my Lord?
What? NO. We are buddies and I am not calling you lord. You have no power over me.
Is that right? See that desert hill. It is clearly a dead-end. But watch this.
Woohooo, how did you make me climb it?
weaaaaaall, that was part of the deal. I can make all my subjects do things as I wish...
This is BS. No, it is still a no. How about if we stick to names?
Okay. Back to the second city, it is going to build that Stonehenge thingy you talked about. Now it is good right? Is there anything negative I need to know about?
It is excellent at growing the culture of all cities. Only thing is that it will give you a great prophet. it won't be that bad since you will need more religions to create a truly cultural society. But you should consider discovering a Great Scientist before the Prophet. But we have to know how to build library to attract a scientist.
BTW, I have some glorious news. We met another local, his name is Kahn and what a sweet guy he is, i can't wait to go visiting him. Also we know how to Husband Animals and guess what? We have horses. Yay. We are going to build a race track. Our glorious worker built 2 deer huts and a pig farm. Now he is completing a road to second city. we are going to learn how to build cottages and libraries soon. We are already working on our third city. Hold for a minute, I am waiting for a message from the Warrior 1.
Oh oh. We have a problem.
What the problem? Monti! Monti! What is going on?
Darn it. The warrior found a great 3rd city site that has rice, sheep and pigs but there is a extremely creative local tribe called Vultures nearby already. What do you think? Should we establish a city there? Think they will be upset?
Why worry Monti? Establish the city and we will spread our culture them. Also we do have horses.
Oh yeah. Do you want to build the Race track there? Is that the plan?
No Monti, I was thinking about building a bunch of chariots and go forcibly claim those cities.
H T A D U S! You blood thirsty fake builder. How could you suggest I, the peace loving Monti of suma's go invading my neighbors? No sir, not in my watch. I am no barbarian. How cold blooded, how evil and how backstabbing of you htadus? Now go back to exploring. I need to figure out this Oracle thing.

Grumbling to himself, Monti set about the immediate task of training a new settler party and learning how to build the Oracle. He discovers that the Oracle will grant a new knowledge to the society that completes it. With a little Yoga and meditation, Monti determine that he can learn the art of metal casting through The Oracle. Soon the third city was founded in the east.

Spoiler :

Hay Monti, what was that beautiful melody? Actually there were two?
Well guess what? We just completed the Oracle in the capital. And a little earlier, completed the Stonehenge in the second city. All our cities are rejoicing and spreading our culture. Now I am building Forge in the capital.
Ah..I am proud of you Monti. BTW, did you notice that Toku have a pile of stone? You do know that there is this magnificent Triangular building with square bottom called Pyramids? No again huh? You really need some Gingko. well anyways, the rumor has it that if you build it, your citizen will be allowed to practice a governing way called Representation and that make all your happy nonworking citizen smarter. And the cheapest way to build it is to use Stone.
Oh I get it. You want me to talk to Tokugava and get a supply of it. No problem buddy. I will talk to him right now.
Hi toku. How are you today?
Oh I just called to see how everything is going?
Okay, yes you are right, it is none of my business.
Sorry. Anyways, I was wondering, would you mind trading some stone to us?
Please Toku..
yes Mr. Tokugava
Please don't get so upset.
Yes, I was misinformed.
If you say you do not have any stone. I believe you friend.
BTW that is a nice wall you have around your empire.
Hello...Toku....
He just hung-up.
Hummm. You SoB Toku. Okay Monti, you look really tired. How about you take a vacation say for couple of hundred years and I will look after your empire(?) What do you think?
Will you old pal? I mean acting commander. I am tired and this peaceful business is very hard. I have so much love to give but no one is willing to receive it.

And so embarked Monti on a much needed vacation, discovering new lands while his old friend made plans to once and for all rid a local thorn by the name of Tokugava. He ordered building of barracks in the 4 cities and start building an army of chariots. The few government workers we busy felling trees to help train chariots. The entire nation has been mobilized for this single objective.

What will become of the Monti's new beginning? Next....

 

[Htadus]

Acting Commander Htadus paces back and forth on a marble floor in Monties Throne Room.

Spoiler :

I need my best battle commander for this invasion. Someone call Achilles.
My lord, Achilles was last seen in Aegean Sea and in another story.
What about that new guy? Cortes.
Oooo I don’t know. I get a bad feeling when I hear that name. I feel he threaten our entire culture and he seem like a backstabbing looter. But oh well bring him in.

Ah, Captain Cortes, come in.
Commander Htadus, how may I serve the empire?
Cortes, the guy with funny hair cut from Japan is highly disrespectful to our great nation. I want you to teach him a lesson.
For the Spain…..I mean Aztec.

A force of 8 chariots converge near the border of Japan while a sole Japanese spear approach the newest Aztec located northeast of the capital with copper, rice and cow. The city is being defended by a single warrior. Suddenly war horns were blown all through the kingdom. A messenger enters the throne room and address the Commander Htadus.

Spoiler :

My lord..
I know, I know. Cortes started the assult, right?
No my lord, it is the Japanese. They just declared war against us and someone just built the Pyramids.

Nooooo…..Nooooo…. I wanted that building.
Who? You go find out who.
And tell Cortes at all coast kill Tokugava. He has ruined more than just this plan.

When me and my clan was Gandhi, not so long ago, he incarnated himself with the help of The NealMister, into many villains and ruined our plans of global domination. It was despicable. He even changed gender to become Egyptian Hatty and English Lizzy. I want him dead. D E D. Dead. Kill him…..


Oh What do you want Mark Zberg? Do you have any good news for me in the science front?
My lord. It is my great pleasure to inform you that we have learned the secrets of Code of Law and discovered a new religion of Confu. Also a Great Prophet appeared at the Stonehenge a while ago. As per Lord Monti’s direction, we are going to have him discover Theology.
No, put him to work in the Capital.
But Lord Monti comm…
Silence. I am in command now, do as I command. Why am I so emotional? Why?

Mean while, in the Japanese front

Spoiler :

Jose and Enrique, get on that forested hill. I want you two to attack that city east of Kyoto. Everyone else with me. To Kyoto.
Captain, why didn’t that spear went after our city? Is he stuck on that location?
Ah… very ingenious of Tukugava. Instead of attacking us, he is intimidating a city that is about to build an axe warrior with the spear warrior. Smart Aggressive Intimidation. Also known as Smart AI.
Report coming in Captain. Jose killed the archer in the second city but it was destroyed in the process.
Damn…the Auto Raze. Okay, nothing we can do about it now. Tell Enrique to meet us near Kyoto. On to Kyoto.

Who died? Chico? Ahhaa, he worked so well with “and The Man”. Revenge for 70’s television…….
Captain, what are you mumbling?. There is a spearman, axeman and an Archer defending a city with 60% culture. Who is brave or crazy enough to attack that? Also if we fail this turn, the spearman who killed Chico will surely defend the city.
Send in Cheech and Chong first. Hope they are flying high? Oh my poor Cortes Raiders, this look real bad. 3 dead but the spear is still alive.
But he is nearly dead Captain. Let me at him.
But Salma, I did not bring you to battle to get you killed. You were to Mop up the wounded.
Why because I am a woman actor playing charioteer? Watch this Captain Cortez. Mi amore.
Wow. She is fantastic. There goes the Archer.
Me next and I too pray to Rose Nimph Gorgeous Goddess.
No Penelope. I cannot bear to lose you.
I am not your plaything Cortes. Women Pooooowwwwwweeeeerrrr.
Wow, where did she learned to fight like that. Good Bye Mr Axe.
Now it is me against the mortally wounded Spear .ay ay. Here goes noth…..Wait a minute. Enrique, can you run fast enough to get here in time to attack right now?
You can? Great. Then, Would you be my Hero, Again Enrique?

A Messenger runs into throne room. Commander Htadus was receiving his daily facial and Pedicure by the twins.

Spoiler :

Great news Commander. Tokugava is no more and we captured both the Great Japanese Wall and the Pyramids.
Ha haaa, I knew the Aztecs were a warrior class, not some peaceful cultural pansies. Ha ha.
Take this massage to Cortes. Attack the Vultures immediately. You will be receiving additional chariots and a few axemen.

A warrior scout observing the vulture capital reports of lightly guarded city. Cortez advances his chariots to the nearest common border. Another warrior scout report that the nearest Vulture city is defended by 3 archers, 4 vultures and 1 spear. A forward scouting chariot reports the Vulture’s horse city is only defended by a single chariot.

Spoiler :

Cortez, let me and Salma go attack the Horse city while you and the boys attack the vulture capital. And then once we capture those cities we will know the Alphabet and can extort some of their knowledge.
Great idea Penelope but I need all the chariots we have to attack that capital. Look at the culture in that city. I have a bad feeling about this. But Commander Htadus has gone mad. It is either a Honorable Death in the battle field or the Axeman’s Gallows.
Enrique, blow the horns, chaaaaaaaaaarge.

The battle was brief. After moving in with 8 chariots and followed by a spear and an axe, the main force assaulted the city defended by a Vulture, Archer and a chariot. Lives of 3 unnamed and already forgotten charioteers were sacrificed to capture the Vulture capital. Force of 2 chariots, a spear and an axe captured the Horse City in the southeastern peninsula. Peace was declared for undocumented exchange of knowledge from Vultures to Aztecs.

During this time the Commander founded additional cities to the north and west, including a former barbarian settlement. Then there was a deafening scream echoing through the empire.

Spoiler :

What have you done htadus? You killed off my friend Toku and attacked the peaceful and nice vulture clan and you put 2 Great prophets to work in the capital instead of founding 2 more religions for me.
I know, I knowooooo. I am so sorry Monti. I got carried away. It is this Toku thing that happened recently. I can not tell you the details…yet. And as for the two Prophets, it was really late at night when I did that and I was barely awake. I am so sorry.
You are sorry? Sorry? Get out of here. Go stand next to a barbarian axeman. Goooo Awaaaaay

Someone tell me what year it is. What? Not 0AD yet? Okay, maybe I can change the plans just a bit and continue the path of peace and culture.

The Aztec leader Monti was last seen entering the Oracle temple to contemplate the future while the reports suggest that exiled Htadus was seen dodging axes in the frozen tundra in the southern hemisphere.

Neither were ever seen togather again.

 

[kcd_swede]

That was truly special, htadus.

I only wish you had had the time to complete the saga.

 

[WelshGandalf]

Thanks for the fun read Htadus