Plexus
Architeuthidae puericomedentis
Well, I'll start this one off...
Confucius said...Man who walk through airport turnstile sideways going to Bangkok.
Confucius said...Man who walk through airport turnstile sideways going to Bangkok.
Confucius jokes
- Thread starter Plexus
- Start date
GenghisK
...
Reminds me of a quite clean one. The 3 chinese tortures.
A guy was lost in the Himalaya mountains. He was starving and frozen when an old man found him and gave him shelter in his home. He had a young daughter, whose beauty had no match. The guy hadn't met any woman for ages was tempted to shag her. The old man said:
_ if you touch a hair of her then you'll face the 3 Chinese torture.
The night came, the guy couldn't sleep, since he was still obsessed with that heavenly beauty (and also obsessed with something else of course...). Finally he couldn't resist and called the girl. They made love hours and hours, she made him go wild etc.. etc.. (I'll skip the very boring details, for there are young femal readers by there). After being exhausted, he thought:
_ damn that was incredibly good. Now I don't care having to bear the torture.
And fell aslept. The day after, he woke up and saw a heavy stone on his belly, on the rock a paper said "This is the 1st torture".
_ Stupid old man, he calls that a torture. A stone on my body.
Then he took the stone, threw it out of the window. While the stone was falling, he could see the stone was drawing a string and and a paper: "Torture 2: your left bullock bound to the stone you just threw away".
_ Waaah, that's gonna really hurt. I'll go and jump out of the window too. Suicide is better than suffering that awful torture. Then he ran and jumped out. And read on the outside wall: Torture 3: right bullock bound to the bed.
A guy was lost in the Himalaya mountains. He was starving and frozen when an old man found him and gave him shelter in his home. He had a young daughter, whose beauty had no match. The guy hadn't met any woman for ages was tempted to shag her. The old man said:
_ if you touch a hair of her then you'll face the 3 Chinese torture.
The night came, the guy couldn't sleep, since he was still obsessed with that heavenly beauty (and also obsessed with something else of course...). Finally he couldn't resist and called the girl. They made love hours and hours, she made him go wild etc.. etc.. (I'll skip the very boring details, for there are young femal readers by there). After being exhausted, he thought:
_ damn that was incredibly good. Now I don't care having to bear the torture.
And fell aslept. The day after, he woke up and saw a heavy stone on his belly, on the rock a paper said "This is the 1st torture".
_ Stupid old man, he calls that a torture. A stone on my body.
Then he took the stone, threw it out of the window. While the stone was falling, he could see the stone was drawing a string and and a paper: "Torture 2: your left bullock bound to the stone you just threw away".
_ Waaah, that's gonna really hurt. I'll go and jump out of the window too. Suicide is better than suffering that awful torture. Then he ran and jumped out. And read on the outside wall: Torture 3: right bullock bound to the bed.
philippe
FYI, I chase trains.
oh yes i saw a little animated cartoon about it.it isnt that funny for me
starlifter
Deity
- Joined
- Jun 17, 2001
- Messages
- 4,210
Confucious say:
"He who stand on toilet is said to be high on pot!"
by GenghisK
heheee.
"He who stand on toilet is said to be high on pot!"
by GenghisK
heheee.
Marlos
Christian Soldier
Ah, Confucius say, "Man who fart in church must sit in his own pew."
CrazyScientist
Those crazy scientists...
Confucius say, "Is good for girl to meet boy in park. Is better for boy to park meat in girl." 
Marlos
Christian Soldier
Confucius say, "Man who go to bed with sex on brain wake up with answer in hand."
VanillaCube
Your local Schizophrenic
Wise man say:
man who quotes everybody else has no good quotes of his own.
Confucius say:
Man who burns yard is said to smoke a lot of weed.
Confucius say: woman who sit on judges lap gets honerable discharge.
Confucius say:
Man who watches Comedy shows on friday night doesn't get it.
man who quotes everybody else has no good quotes of his own.
Confucius say:
Man who burns yard is said to smoke a lot of weed.
Confucius say: woman who sit on judges lap gets honerable discharge.
Confucius say:
Man who watches Comedy shows on friday night doesn't get it.
VanillaCube
Your local Schizophrenic
Confucius say:
Man with no P***s is said to be Completly Nuts.
Man with no P***s is said to be Completly Nuts.
Finvola
Where's my pie?
Confucius Say:
"Man who walk with nose in air very easy to hook"
"Man who walk with nose in air very easy to hook"
Dominix
Warlord
Virginity like bubble, one pop all gone.
Baseball is wrong, man with four balls cannot walk.
Stupid man give wife grand piano, smart man give wife upright organ.
Baseball is wrong, man with four balls cannot walk.
Stupid man give wife grand piano, smart man give wife upright organ.
Furry Spatula
...
Dominix, almost had it
Virginity like bubble, one prick can ruin it.
Virginity like bubble, one prick can ruin it.
Lord_Vetinari
übermensch
Give a man fire and he's warm for a day
Set a man on fire and he's warm for a lifetime
I ripped this one from Terry Pratchett
Set a man on fire and he's warm for a lifetime
I ripped this one from Terry Pratchett
Perfection
The Great Head.
Confucius say - Man who take woman on camping trip have
naughty intent!
naughty intent!
napoleon526
Emperor
Confucius Say:
Man who scratches ass should not bite fingernails.
Woman who wear G-string, high on crack!
It takes many nails to build crib, but one screw to fill it.
Man who scratches ass should not bite fingernails.
Woman who wear G-string, high on crack!
It takes many nails to build crib, but one screw to fill it.
Ancient Grudge
Its all in this life
these are just so damned good please carry on i beg of you please carry on!
Portuguese
Vassalising Spain
Sorry to see what you all put in his mouth 
Expected to see here original's pieces of wisdom...
Expected to see here original's pieces of wisdom...
napoleon526
Emperor
Well, this is the Humor and Jokes forum, not the Eastern Philosophy forum.Originally posted by Portuguese
Sorry to see what you all put in his mouth
Expected to see here original's pieces of wisdom...
Besides, Confucius say:
Man who pees through screen door, only straining himself.
Man who eat many prunes get good run for money.
He who fishes in other man's well often catches crabs.
Man who farts in church sits in own pew.
Similar threads
