Sanscizo
Posting Artistè
Disclaimer: To avoid injury place this thread on a level surface and dissolve in water for exactly ten minutes. No guarentee that this will actually save you any injury, infact it is probably more likely to cause injury.
Part One
Yesterday I went to a estate agents in the hope of finding a new flat to move into. My current one has last month's spaghetti bolognase seeping through the ceiling and into the flat below. Everything in my flat is flat; my cat (got squashed under all the rubbish), my girlfriend (ooh!), and my spirits. Quite appropriate it's called a flat actually.
So I went to the estate agents, well it was called an estate agents but the front half of the flat is rented out to a pet shop on Tuesdays and Thursdays, infact the property sellers were about as slimy as the snakes in the pet shop. The man who greeted me had enough oil in his hair to attract an Arab, and his face wouldn't have looked out of place on a baboons arse. I asked if there were any nice, cheap flats available for me to move into soon. He offered me an Elizabethan Palace for £6.5 million. I told him what I wanted again and he offered me a small Asian country. I could tell he wasn't very good at his job.
Eventually after hours of haggling with the man I had managed to negotiate him down to a small camping site in exchange for my soul and half a dougnut. I signed the deal with a resigned attitude and went right away, keys in hand, to catch the first bus to the camping site. I then found out the camping site was in Iceland. So a plane and a unicycle ride later (Iceland's public transport system is very poor) I found myself looking out over the campsite. The first thing that struck me was a large wooden beam. It hurt a lot. As I walked in, scraping my hands along the floor I was so tired, I noticed a rather odd smell. After a bit of investigating and a strong cup of coffee I found out that the entire camp site was riddled with hundreds of dozing kangaroos. They were lying about everywhere like rather plump rugs snoring very loudly. I was distraught, a perfectly normal day had now taken a decidedly strange turn. I would like to say I contemplated suicide, but honestly all I contemplated was another cup of coffee....
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You may have noticed that I'm making this up as I go along, also I'm drunk.
Part One
Yesterday I went to a estate agents in the hope of finding a new flat to move into. My current one has last month's spaghetti bolognase seeping through the ceiling and into the flat below. Everything in my flat is flat; my cat (got squashed under all the rubbish), my girlfriend (ooh!), and my spirits. Quite appropriate it's called a flat actually.
So I went to the estate agents, well it was called an estate agents but the front half of the flat is rented out to a pet shop on Tuesdays and Thursdays, infact the property sellers were about as slimy as the snakes in the pet shop. The man who greeted me had enough oil in his hair to attract an Arab, and his face wouldn't have looked out of place on a baboons arse. I asked if there were any nice, cheap flats available for me to move into soon. He offered me an Elizabethan Palace for £6.5 million. I told him what I wanted again and he offered me a small Asian country. I could tell he wasn't very good at his job.
Eventually after hours of haggling with the man I had managed to negotiate him down to a small camping site in exchange for my soul and half a dougnut. I signed the deal with a resigned attitude and went right away, keys in hand, to catch the first bus to the camping site. I then found out the camping site was in Iceland. So a plane and a unicycle ride later (Iceland's public transport system is very poor) I found myself looking out over the campsite. The first thing that struck me was a large wooden beam. It hurt a lot. As I walked in, scraping my hands along the floor I was so tired, I noticed a rather odd smell. After a bit of investigating and a strong cup of coffee I found out that the entire camp site was riddled with hundreds of dozing kangaroos. They were lying about everywhere like rather plump rugs snoring very loudly. I was distraught, a perfectly normal day had now taken a decidedly strange turn. I would like to say I contemplated suicide, but honestly all I contemplated was another cup of coffee....
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You may have noticed that I'm making this up as I go along, also I'm drunk.
