Eulogy

ainwood

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Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Mr. Common Sense. Mr. Sense had been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He will be remembered as having cultivated such value lessons as knowing when to come in out of the rain, why the early bird gets the worm and that life isn't always fair.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you earn)and reliable parenting strategies (adults, not kids, are in charge).

His health began to rapidly deteriorate when well intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. - Reports of a six -year old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.

Mr. Sense declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer aspirin to a student; but, could not inform the parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.

Finally, Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband; churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims.

Common Sense finally gave up the ghost after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot, she spilled a bit in her lap, and was awarded a huge financial settlement.

Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust, his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason. He is survived by two stepbrothers; My Rights and Ima Whiner.

Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone.
 
That's very sad :(

I know that it's supposed to be funny, but it just turns out to be sad because it's so true.
 
His family should claim. This is clearly the fault of Oxfam.
 
I always thought that Cicero's famous words: "O tempora, O mores" would always apply to ANY era us humans are in ...
But i simply can't believe that what is happening today can be compared to anything in the past. :(
 
All right! Now we can party and act like idiots! :D
 
ainwood said:
life isn't always fair.

Life may not be completely fair yet, but it is every person's duty to bring it closer.

ainwood said:
Ten Commandments became contrabandand

Very few people have any objection to "Thou shalt not kill/commit adultery/steal/bear false witness." These are values that almost all religions, and even most nonreligous people, believe in. What people object to is imposing one's religion on others.

ainwood said:
criminals received better treatment than their victims.

No-one advocates that. What they advocate is not treating people who have made mistakes as subhuman.

ainwood said:
Common Sense finally gave up the ghost after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot, she spilled a bit in her lap, and was awarded a huge financial settlement.

The coffee was over 180 °F, and gave the plaintiff third-degree burns.
 
Typical lame political banter suited for rabid ideologues, pessimists, and few others.

I'd put this as more of an extended creative whine (and one generally aimed in the wrong direction) then any sort of joke.

You can do better, Ainwood.
 
azzaman333 said:
So we should sell cold coffee? What about lukewarm coffee? Mildly heated? :rolleyes:

Two words: Cold beer. ;)
 
Common Sense, we hardly knew ye.
 
azzaman333 said:
So we should sell cold coffee? What about lukewarm coffee? Mildly heated? :rolleyes:

The coffee in question was much hotter than most eateries serve it.
 
common sense was not common so we should be seaying good bye to "sense":cry:
 
we cannot sell any version of heated liquid, people are far too incompitent

in fact anybody who comes in and orders hot soup will recive water wings, heat resistant mittens,a bib and a helmet
 
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