Shadow,
For such a short post you've (probably inadvertantly) raised a lot of issues!
Victory
OK - for starters, you want to win the game! One of the great things about Civ is that there are so many ways to win, but in most cases, under standard playing conditions, you'll benefit from at least a medium sized empire, but ideally a large empire. Five cities with a view to expansion in the Modern Era is a 'challenging' approach at best and does not set you up well for any victory type.
Too big too fast
The team who created Civ4 have deliberately aimed to curtail the 'strategy' used by players of earlier versions of Civ of 'REXing' (rapid expansion of an empire by pumping out a stream of Settlers and grabbing any available land) by introducing high city maintenance costs. Generally speaking, if you have a dozen cities in your Classical Age empire, the city maintenance will really start to bite.
I think many of us have fallen into the trap of playing Rome, quickly researching to Iron Working, built a massive army of Praetorians, and gone rampaging through two or three neighbours only to find that our science has suddenly dropped to zero and the game is disbanding our units! We simply cannot afford the upkeep on all of those new cities that we've won, and the game is compelling us to reduce costs in any way it can.
This is where your buddy's approach runs the risk of becoming unstuck. They may have eleven cities, but can they afford to run them without sending the science rate down the toilet? At higher levels this becomes increasingly more difficult to manage.
On the other hand, the city upkeep dilemma does not mean 'avoid Classical Era warfare'. You will get promoted units - possibly even a Great General if you're playing Warlords. If you raze a few cities rather than keep them all (see below) you will be in a stronger position thanks to the plunder, and with a neighbour pushed back it will give you better developmental prospects.
Code of Laws and Currency
You can go on a pillaging and city seizing rampage with your army, but raze cities rather than keeping them and earning the rewards of your plunder. You can overcome maintenance costs through working lots of Cottages. You might have built The Colossus and have a strong economy through working coastal tiles. If you have lots of seaside cities The Great Lighthouse could be providing great relief for your financial predicament ...
... There are many ways to help you cope with a large early-game economy, but the Code of Laws and Currency technologies are very useful advances to addressing the city maintenance burden of a growing empire.
- Code of Laws: Allows cities to build Courthouses, and with enough Courthouses and a sufficiently sized empire you can build the Forbidden Palace, allows The Caste System civic that lets you run Specialist Merchants if you wish.
- Currency: Allows you to include gold in trades, provides a free Trade Route in every city, allows cities to build Markets for; extra gold and possibly happy faces and also allows you to add up to two Specialist Merchants.
With these two technologies under your belt you can start to expand with some confidence that you can maintain a balanced, vibrant, and growing economy.
Score
Unless you are going for a Time victory, the score is at best a general gauge on how you're going relative to the competition. For instance, it gives you points for building Wonders, but a lot of the Wonders in this game are really only of limited use unless you are embracing a particular strategy. Do not become unduly concerned with the Score - it can be a 'red herring' and does not take into account what strategy you intend to next launch yourself into.
Wonder Addiction
To my mind there are some excellent Global Wonders in this game, and some that are useful under certain conditions, and a few that I really doubt are ever worth the

that they cost. You should not
rely on building Wonders however; as you advance in levels they will become more-and-more difficult to secure and your neighbours are likely to become more-and-more threatening. Breaking builder-ish habits is important if you want to start playing the tougher levels. An extreme suggestion proposed by DaveMcW once was to play a game with iirc Barracks, Aqueducts and Courthouses being the only buildings at all! Something like that will compel you to re-evaluate your playstyle.
Hopefully these points are of some use to you. Keep reading the threads in CivFanatics as you have done. Best of luck!
