Funny things heard in class

[WildFire]

I was in the ninth grade and this girl was sleeping and the teacher called on her. The answer was "six" but she said "sex."

The teacher looked around like he was nervous and the girl ran out of the room.

 

[andrewgprv]

in 7th grade (12 years old) I had a very old teacher with an English accent. We were a hyper class and we enjoyed annoying her because of her hystaricall remarks. "You Absuurd thing!" in her english proper voice it was great.

Now one day she is reading in front of the class, I am sitting at the back of the class and I am making faces at her (the class can't see me but she can). Finally after about ten minutes she slams down her book and in her high pitched English attitdue she points to a boy at the side of the room "Enough!, I've had to listen to you tap that pencile." points to another girl "listen to your talking!" then points to me "And I've had to look at your face!" The class broke out in laughter, it was great

 

[Quasar1011]

In sex ed class, the female teacher was speaking to all boys.

Boy: "Teacher, can you get a venereal disease in your mouth?"

Teacher: "You mean from kissing?"

Boy: "No..."

 

[Elden]

Originally posted by Aphex_Twin
Funny how some teacher try to explain something they themselves don't know.

I had a whole semester of computing in Year 11 like that: Our teacher was actually a sports teacher (Don't have a clue why he was teaching computing.) He made multiple mistakes in every lesson and often had to ask the students for help

 

[Mescalhead]

Originally posted by polymath
When I was 15 or so, a friend and I were messing around, throwing a used coke can about one of the rooms at high speed. A teacher came in and said to me "Why don't you just grow up?"
I said "I can't! I'm Peter Pan!"

WoW.
(Crowd is quiet.)

Sorry for the ******* statement, but thats just...

Originally posted by phillipe
kid in my class:if i squeese in your breasts will there be milk koming out of it?
(we where in the class english with a hot teachtster

Go back to your home planet and ask your teachster to teach you how to blend in more convincingly with the homosapiens.

 

[polymath]

I should add we were throwing the can to each other and catching it, '41-42-hut-hut-hut!' style. No school property was harmed in any way.

 

[MCdread]

I had a teacher who was also a catholic priest. He was explaining the students about his vowels, including chastity vowels. One student didn't seem to be very convinced.
Teacher: "What's the matter, don't you believe I never had sex?"
Student: "Of course I don't! Not even a little!"

On a biology class the teacher was showing a drawing in a book to explain the female anatomy. She was pointing at things and explaining it, but something seemed to be wrong. Some students were amused and others a bit confused about her explanations. She took a better look about it and: "Oh, I'm sorry, this one is a penetration..."

 

[Crowpocalyptic1]

During the whole Napster being sued by Metallica ordeal, when www.campchaos.com was putting out the cartoons about Metallica hating Napster, my friend Brandon was in a math class in College. He noticed that it had been completely quiet for way too long, and took a page out of the book of Phil Hartman playing Frankenstein on SNL or from James Hetfield (sp?) of Metallica in the Camp Chaos Cartoons.

Out of nowhere, he said as loud as possible "THINKING - BAAAAD!!" and then returned to his work as if nothing had happened.

I wish I could have been there for that.

 

[Hitro]

Biology teacher (on wrong indications): "Not everyone who has a blue head also has AIDS."

Me, handing in a written self-excuse of the "I was ill" kind: "Here you are."
History teacher: "Hmm, nausea? Got trashed while playing cards?"
Me: "No playing cards."
History teacher: "Sounds good. But you should play cards more, it's fun!"

A girl ate strawberries in the break between two German lessons.
German teacher: "That looks interesting. Did you know that strawberries are considered to be phallic symbols by many people?"