Each week I'm going to post the Gamespy Grudge on CFC to see your opinion. You can see the grudge at: http://www.gamespy.com
And with each grudge is the ranting of 2 of Gamespy's Finest!
Fargo: It's all about the Dwarves.
shaithis: That's right, Dwarves. None of these pansy-assed elven nature-god whiny magical *****es. Real fighters eat gravel for breakfast and hate the sun, as I do.
Fargo: This is unprecedented in GameSpy Grudge history. The two of us agree. We're going to need to bring in a third voice to augment the discussion. Ladies and gentlemen we present Kindrak, resident GameSpy Artist. Kindrak, isn't it true that you're a fan of elves?
Kindrak: That is correct.
shaithis: And isn't it also true that you're a wussy veggie-eating granolla California green party raver whack job?
Kindrak: What's that got to do with elves?
shaithis: Everything, if I was running the country. How is some tree-huggin' Spockalike gonna withstand the crushing fury of my big axe, or a hammer the size of a flatbed towtruck?
Kindrak: Look, those dirty rockbangers cannot hope to understand the glorious beauty of all things Elven. They will be awestruck at the shimmering citadels that house our armies. They will not be able to comprehend the beautiful, shifting hues and shapes of our Magicks... mainly because those magicks will have burnt their eyeballs from their sockets. The dwarves, with their steam, and coal, and dirt, stand no chance! They're barbarians!
shaithis: I'll show you barbarian...
[shaithis picks up his keyboard, Fargo restrains him]
Fargo: I think what shaithis is getting at is that there are many presentations of elves, and often these presentations are what many in the artistic community would designate as "froo froo." For instance, there are three basic types of Elves: You have your serious immortal Tolkien-types with the pointy ears and the bows, you have your hot chick elves who don't wear any clothes, and you have your cookie-making Santa-sicophanting pointy-shoed jingle-belling wussy elves. Like so:
shaithis: Exactly. We're just saying, two out of three elves can't handle the fury of the mighty dwarf, particularly when he's loaded. Look at how Dwarves are always portrayed: Short, angry, helmeted, and swinging big heavy things at anyone who smacks of Martha Stewart.
Kindrak: I see. So then ... how do you explain THIS?
shaithis: GAH!
Fargo: Kindrak what the hell is that?
Kindrak: What do you mean, what is that? It's ... It's Snow White and the Seven Dwarves! You've never seen it?
shaithis: They're wearing diaphragms on their heads!
Fargo: Kindrak what kind of sick adult bookstore did you dredge this from?
Kindrak: You're kidding me. It's a Disney classic. See, Snow White is this beautiful girl who the wicked Queen sends into the forest to be killed but she escapes and these seven Dwarves hide her, until she eats a poison apple and a Prince rescues her. Then they live happily ever after.
shaithis: That's disgusting. BRING ME MY HAMMER!
Fargo: Kindrak, your Froo Froo fairy tales have absolutely no bearing on reality.
shaithis: I MUST SMITE ... SOMETHING!
And with each grudge is the ranting of 2 of Gamespy's Finest!
Fargo: It's all about the Dwarves.
shaithis: That's right, Dwarves. None of these pansy-assed elven nature-god whiny magical *****es. Real fighters eat gravel for breakfast and hate the sun, as I do.
Fargo: This is unprecedented in GameSpy Grudge history. The two of us agree. We're going to need to bring in a third voice to augment the discussion. Ladies and gentlemen we present Kindrak, resident GameSpy Artist. Kindrak, isn't it true that you're a fan of elves?
Kindrak: That is correct.
shaithis: And isn't it also true that you're a wussy veggie-eating granolla California green party raver whack job?
Kindrak: What's that got to do with elves?
shaithis: Everything, if I was running the country. How is some tree-huggin' Spockalike gonna withstand the crushing fury of my big axe, or a hammer the size of a flatbed towtruck?
Kindrak: Look, those dirty rockbangers cannot hope to understand the glorious beauty of all things Elven. They will be awestruck at the shimmering citadels that house our armies. They will not be able to comprehend the beautiful, shifting hues and shapes of our Magicks... mainly because those magicks will have burnt their eyeballs from their sockets. The dwarves, with their steam, and coal, and dirt, stand no chance! They're barbarians!
shaithis: I'll show you barbarian...
[shaithis picks up his keyboard, Fargo restrains him]
Fargo: I think what shaithis is getting at is that there are many presentations of elves, and often these presentations are what many in the artistic community would designate as "froo froo." For instance, there are three basic types of Elves: You have your serious immortal Tolkien-types with the pointy ears and the bows, you have your hot chick elves who don't wear any clothes, and you have your cookie-making Santa-sicophanting pointy-shoed jingle-belling wussy elves. Like so:
shaithis: Exactly. We're just saying, two out of three elves can't handle the fury of the mighty dwarf, particularly when he's loaded. Look at how Dwarves are always portrayed: Short, angry, helmeted, and swinging big heavy things at anyone who smacks of Martha Stewart.
Kindrak: I see. So then ... how do you explain THIS?
shaithis: GAH!
Fargo: Kindrak what the hell is that?
Kindrak: What do you mean, what is that? It's ... It's Snow White and the Seven Dwarves! You've never seen it?
shaithis: They're wearing diaphragms on their heads!
Fargo: Kindrak what kind of sick adult bookstore did you dredge this from?
Kindrak: You're kidding me. It's a Disney classic. See, Snow White is this beautiful girl who the wicked Queen sends into the forest to be killed but she escapes and these seven Dwarves hide her, until she eats a poison apple and a Prince rescues her. Then they live happily ever after.
shaithis: That's disgusting. BRING ME MY HAMMER!
Fargo: Kindrak, your Froo Froo fairy tales have absolutely no bearing on reality.
shaithis: I MUST SMITE ... SOMETHING!
