Tubby Rower
Chronic Slacker
Thanks to his single-minded devotion and tireless effort Emperor Killyouall is the most famous, well compensated and unhappy man in all the Kingdom of BABE.
The Emperor is a quiet, reclusive man, seldom seen or heard from who purchased his beachfront property in Larry Flints Resort (LFR) as a retreat from noise, crowds and germs. In a twist of irony, that was also the reason the adjoining property was bought by the Thong/Sunscreen/Brazier/Pillow Fight Research Institute.
The coastal location on the sunny coast of LFR was viewed as a perfect product testing site for the Research Institutes sun screens, tanning lotions and moisturizing oils; important components in the Institutes recently created Tan-line Nullification Agency (TNA). This Agency was crated with a Governmental grant issued by Babe-Magnet-in-Chief Wotan. In his State of the Babes address he promised to marshal all the resources of the kingdom to eradicate tan-lines, This most disturbing of blights on the body politic cannot be allowed to continue. With this edict from Hefners Palace money soon became available and so began TNA, along with Emperors troubles.
While the presence of scores of research scientists/fitness models next door to his own isolated retreat destroyed the privacy he values, the Emperor decided to make the best of his changing situation and introduce himself to the neighbors. An eight foot high security fence and several large dogs reinforced the fact that the Institute was even more committed to isolated privacy than the Emperor.
As a founding resident of LFR the Emperor (a title given due to his constant referral to himself with the plural of majesty) was upset about the disruption TNA would cause to the quiet lifestyle local residents were accustomed to. We were not amused. We attempted to be neighborly, offering to clean the cabana, borrowing sugar and such. But we were rebuffed in a manner most unseemly. Despite our desire for solitude we were resigned to friendly, personal contact; but their abominable fence and security guards have prevented that. As a result, we no longer trust them, and as a public service have determined to keep an eye on them.
And keep an eye he did. So committed was Emperor to was his lonely vigil that he mounted a life guard chair in his back yard so he could gaze over the security fence. This began an escalation of elevation.
Dr. Bambi, the chief medical researcher at TNA tells a different story. I understand how people can be nervous having a government research facility next door. But that Emperor was a disruption. We are doing important work for the government and he was constantly skulking in the bushes and disturbing the researchers. One time Drs. Amber and Trixi were studying how many rubs it took before tanning lotion was completely absorbed without that icky residue. He came running up getting sand on Dr. Trixi and making Dr. Amber lose count. After throwing him out we had to start the project all over again. We thought the fence and dogs would be the end of him but he got that blasted chair, so we had to erect a bigger fence.
This tête-à-tête continued until the Emperor, driven by his neighbor watch began construction of a huge, stone platform from which he could observe the goings on in the TNA compound.
At that point we were resigned, says Dr. Bambi. That Emperor whatever seemed convinced that we were up tAo no good, so we just determined to prove him wrong and moved most of our research projects to the beachfront so that he could see we had nothing to hide. While he never trusted enough to give up his observation, he stopped trying to climb the fence. We could live with that and he seemed contented.
This détente continued for some time until fate once again conspired to ruin the Emperors solitary vigil.
The 84 ft. Imperial Yacht Compensation was cruising off LFRs coast and nearly run aground except for the coincidental intervention of Emperor Killyouall.
We were at our post and noticed this monstrous ship sailing back and forth in front of the compounds beach. We assumed they were lost, but after their ninth circuit in front of the TNA compound, each progressively nearer, we began to think they had other purposes. We trained our binoculars on the vessel getting closer and closer to the shore, and a rocky outcrop in front of our frontage that was becoming visible with the retreating tide. We noticed a crewmember jump, stare at us, spy the rocks and quickly race to the wheel house and steer out to sea. We were glad they left.
But they were not gone for long. Unknown to the Emperor, Babe-Magnet-in-Chief Wotan was on the yacht checking on the Agencys beachfront work. In the midst of their inspection the crew was distracted and but for the flashes coming from the Emperors binoculars they would have surely run aground.
Wotan immediately saw the wonderful utility of the Emperors tower, plus it could keep ships from hitting those rocks. He immediately came ashore, insisted that Emperor allow him to inspect the re-named Great Height House and be brought up to speed on his vigil.
So marvelous was this edifice that scores of officials are regularly there, the flashes from various reflective surfaces and the fires from the exceptionally large grill they regularly stoke for their nightly steak fry shining like a beacon for miles around.
Not only has this decreased the number of accidents in LFRs shipping lanes, but the increased exposure has resulted in increased public funding and interest in the Institutes work, especially the Tan-line Nullification Agency. As of this articles publication TNA was planning on capitalizing on their new found fame with a series of speaking tours and a full color calendar.
As for Emperor Killyouall he is a victim of his own success. The solitude he once sought is a thing of the past. Now he spends his days as one of any number of patriotic watchmen, or forlornly sulking in his house. We miss our solitude, we miss the diversion from our stone spire. When I moved to Lary Flints Resort who could have imagined I would be surrounded by panting, leering men crowding our tower. All those men, that plural is completely unacceptable to us.
Dr. Bambi
and Emperor Killyouall
The Emperor is a quiet, reclusive man, seldom seen or heard from who purchased his beachfront property in Larry Flints Resort (LFR) as a retreat from noise, crowds and germs. In a twist of irony, that was also the reason the adjoining property was bought by the Thong/Sunscreen/Brazier/Pillow Fight Research Institute.
The coastal location on the sunny coast of LFR was viewed as a perfect product testing site for the Research Institutes sun screens, tanning lotions and moisturizing oils; important components in the Institutes recently created Tan-line Nullification Agency (TNA). This Agency was crated with a Governmental grant issued by Babe-Magnet-in-Chief Wotan. In his State of the Babes address he promised to marshal all the resources of the kingdom to eradicate tan-lines, This most disturbing of blights on the body politic cannot be allowed to continue. With this edict from Hefners Palace money soon became available and so began TNA, along with Emperors troubles.
While the presence of scores of research scientists/fitness models next door to his own isolated retreat destroyed the privacy he values, the Emperor decided to make the best of his changing situation and introduce himself to the neighbors. An eight foot high security fence and several large dogs reinforced the fact that the Institute was even more committed to isolated privacy than the Emperor.
As a founding resident of LFR the Emperor (a title given due to his constant referral to himself with the plural of majesty) was upset about the disruption TNA would cause to the quiet lifestyle local residents were accustomed to. We were not amused. We attempted to be neighborly, offering to clean the cabana, borrowing sugar and such. But we were rebuffed in a manner most unseemly. Despite our desire for solitude we were resigned to friendly, personal contact; but their abominable fence and security guards have prevented that. As a result, we no longer trust them, and as a public service have determined to keep an eye on them.
And keep an eye he did. So committed was Emperor to was his lonely vigil that he mounted a life guard chair in his back yard so he could gaze over the security fence. This began an escalation of elevation.
Dr. Bambi, the chief medical researcher at TNA tells a different story. I understand how people can be nervous having a government research facility next door. But that Emperor was a disruption. We are doing important work for the government and he was constantly skulking in the bushes and disturbing the researchers. One time Drs. Amber and Trixi were studying how many rubs it took before tanning lotion was completely absorbed without that icky residue. He came running up getting sand on Dr. Trixi and making Dr. Amber lose count. After throwing him out we had to start the project all over again. We thought the fence and dogs would be the end of him but he got that blasted chair, so we had to erect a bigger fence.
This tête-à-tête continued until the Emperor, driven by his neighbor watch began construction of a huge, stone platform from which he could observe the goings on in the TNA compound.
At that point we were resigned, says Dr. Bambi. That Emperor whatever seemed convinced that we were up tAo no good, so we just determined to prove him wrong and moved most of our research projects to the beachfront so that he could see we had nothing to hide. While he never trusted enough to give up his observation, he stopped trying to climb the fence. We could live with that and he seemed contented.
This détente continued for some time until fate once again conspired to ruin the Emperors solitary vigil.
The 84 ft. Imperial Yacht Compensation was cruising off LFRs coast and nearly run aground except for the coincidental intervention of Emperor Killyouall.
We were at our post and noticed this monstrous ship sailing back and forth in front of the compounds beach. We assumed they were lost, but after their ninth circuit in front of the TNA compound, each progressively nearer, we began to think they had other purposes. We trained our binoculars on the vessel getting closer and closer to the shore, and a rocky outcrop in front of our frontage that was becoming visible with the retreating tide. We noticed a crewmember jump, stare at us, spy the rocks and quickly race to the wheel house and steer out to sea. We were glad they left.
But they were not gone for long. Unknown to the Emperor, Babe-Magnet-in-Chief Wotan was on the yacht checking on the Agencys beachfront work. In the midst of their inspection the crew was distracted and but for the flashes coming from the Emperors binoculars they would have surely run aground.
Wotan immediately saw the wonderful utility of the Emperors tower, plus it could keep ships from hitting those rocks. He immediately came ashore, insisted that Emperor allow him to inspect the re-named Great Height House and be brought up to speed on his vigil.
So marvelous was this edifice that scores of officials are regularly there, the flashes from various reflective surfaces and the fires from the exceptionally large grill they regularly stoke for their nightly steak fry shining like a beacon for miles around.
Not only has this decreased the number of accidents in LFRs shipping lanes, but the increased exposure has resulted in increased public funding and interest in the Institutes work, especially the Tan-line Nullification Agency. As of this articles publication TNA was planning on capitalizing on their new found fame with a series of speaking tours and a full color calendar.
As for Emperor Killyouall he is a victim of his own success. The solitude he once sought is a thing of the past. Now he spends his days as one of any number of patriotic watchmen, or forlornly sulking in his house. We miss our solitude, we miss the diversion from our stone spire. When I moved to Lary Flints Resort who could have imagined I would be surrounded by panting, leering men crowding our tower. All those men, that plural is completely unacceptable to us.
Dr. Bambi
and Emperor Killyouall
I feel special for a lurker who doesn't even have C3C.
