If anyone is still curious about this (or shopping themselves and want a few ideas) here is my current list of possibilities, in no particular order:
(note: all systems include a 17' 1900x1200 display, 4G RAM, and a 320G/7200 RPM HDD.)
(Note #2: This list may have errors, typos, or just stupid stuff caused by me not paying attention.

be warned!)
Sager NP5797, $2349: T9800 processor (2.93G dual core, 1066 FSB, 6M L2 cache), GeForce GTX280M 1G video card
Pros: lower price for the list, fast processor. Cons: need to research Sager and the vid card, as I'm not familiar with either.
Sager NP9262, $2734 (or $3429): Q9650 (3.0G quad, 1333 FSB, 12M L2 cache), GeForce 9800M GTX 1G video card
Pros: probably most capable processor I've looked at, I think. <$3000. Could go for SLI setup and get dual 9800M GTX for another 700ish, bringing the price to $3429. Cons: high price on the SLI model, and I think that's a desktop processor (isn't that what Sager uses in the laptops?) so I'm concerned about heat issues.
Dell XPS M1730, $2029 on sale: T9300 processor (2.5G dual, 800 FSB, 6M l2 cache) dual GeForce 9800M GT, (with sale, $234 off till June)
Pros: second lowest price found for decent gaming system, 2 year warranty standard (most others on this list have 1 year std). I even like the design... Cons: none, really, except slight performance decrease, but it's a lower cost system in this list.
Alienware M17, $2853: T9600 processor (2.8G, 1066 FSB, 6M l2 cache), dual 512 M ATI Radeon HD 3870 video cards
Pros: backlit keyboard and eye candy, price includes some additional options (lightscribe burner, laptop cooler/stand, carry case) Cons: like the eye candy, but don't really like the case fo some reason. Pricey option due to alienware name. Unfamiliar with ATI drivers.
Alienware M17X, $3252: T9300 processor (2.5G, 800 FSB, 6M l2 cache), dual 512 M GeForce 9800 GT (SLI)
Pros: x-series alienware, so all the cool eye candy (as above on M17). Cons: older x-series, so newer components actually available on M17 (or so it seems to me), second highest price on the list, still not fond of the case.
Sager 5793, $1594 on sale: T9300 processor (2.5G, 800 FSB, 6M L2 cache), 1G GeForce 9800M GTS video card, (closeout:includes $700 off from Sager)
Pros: lowest price on the list by a bunch, still seems to be a good performing system. Cons: as mentioned, unfamiliar with Sager. Oh, and the only case choice left in stock is the orange trim...
So, there you go, friends and neighbors. Any input on any of the systems here, or anything else I should check out?
I should mention, too, that all systems represent as close as possible to my personal 'sweet spot' where price and technology meet. Some can be upgraded further, but the cost was too steep for me compared to the performance I'd get in return. (Example: the T9300 processors could be upgraded to X9000 2.8G processors, but I'm not planning on overclocking, and so the $600 for an additional .3G speed wasn't attractive to me... )
Still, if anyone has thoughts, I'd cheerfully listen - and if you're just browsing for high end laptops, that's what I found - may give you some ideas as to what's out there...
Some of the things I'm curious about are the difference front speed bus and RAM speed (667 vs 800) make in high end gaming performance (if any!) and if anyone has had heat issues - I'm incredibly afraid of heat issues based on past laptop experience (I don't mean 'My legs get too warm" hot, I mean, "The laptop overheats and shuts down" hot....

)