I want you lot to play my Civ game for me

[Argh]

Ok, I had our scout run SW, then W past the German archer. The archer turned to follow. The scout will soon leave him for dust. Scout spotted two Chinese axemen, who must've come up out of unexplored land to the SW who are closing in on Minoan.

Oh, and another Barbarian axeman has appeared right behind the first one.

Let's all learn the words to the "we're screwed" song:

"we're screwed, we're screwed!"
"we're screwed, we're screwed!"
"we're screwed, we're screwed!"
"we're screwed, we're screwed!"
"we're screwed, we're screwed!"
"we're screwed, we're screwed!"
"we're screwed, we're screwed!"
"we're screwed, we're screwed!"
"we're screwed, we're screwed!"

 

[Argh]

Highlander the scout reaches German borders. He can't go WEST through them as he is supposed to, but he will try to head generally west and get around them....

Barbarian forces will be arriving at London's Ruins (where four of our warriors are) one a turn, for the next three turns, if they dont stop to pillage. First to arrive will be the archer. Workers retreating.

I think the Chinese will be taking Minoan soon.

 

[Argh]

Scout stands on a hill and spots Hamburg, level 5 city as the closest German city.

Mad Bob is built, and heading for our SW border. Westport (renamed again now) is building holy king's settler (for Ascot, on the horses).

Edit: We have entered the classical era, and are now researching Archery (5 turns).

Edit Two: Minoan is taken by the Chinese. Neither of their axemen are killed.

 

[niffweed17]

i know it's stupid, but one thing you left out of your summary was the order that i gave about changing to environmentalism as soon as available.

 

[Argh]

The archer barb attacked our capital. Warrior Ben couldn't be beaten.

Niffweed17, it is in there now, thanks.

 

[Argh]

PARTY in England, everyone invited.....look (there's also a NEW barb axeman, out of the fog, far N of London that you can't see here).

EDIT: One thing I failed to notice is that the german archer is actually...erm...THREE archers. Bismark will NOT accept peace, at all. "There will be no peace, Badger".

 

[conquer_dude]

DANG CHINESE!!!! THEY TOOK ALFONZO'S JOB!!!!!!!!!!!

Since Minoan is no more, move Mad Bob to Westport and HE will escort the settler.

 

[Argh]

German archers kill Mad Bob. Axeman kills Ben in London's Ruins. Workers fleeing for Westport (which is empty and buildin a settler).

"There will be no one to stop us this time" says one of the barbs in his best Darth Vader voice.

 

[Argh]

We have archery. Researching Iron Working, but if we're still here in the 17 turns it'll take to research, I'll eat YOUR hat.

 

[Argh]

Ooooh, China offers to trade Iron Working for Alphabet.

Deal, or no deal?

London's almost finished it's library. It is supposed to build a warrior next, but since is emergency, i KNOW Flotorius would take THAT order of his ack, in fact,didnt he say build a warrior unless we get archery, then build an archer on page 20...something?

Edit: If I try to bargain, then China has Agricultrue and Sailing also in white, and Masonry in red. They need Mysticism, which we have.

 

[conquer_dude]

For heaven's sake exept the deal. It could be game-changing!!

Mad Bob is... dead? Dead? Alrighty? Man he stunk! Make sure his grave stone is a pebble.

So, is London's Ruins building an archer? Alfonzo must save the day!

What are reports on Billy?

 

[Argh]

Billy is one of three surviving warriors in London. Him and one other are bound by niffweed's orders (but, I declare are free to to other things until those ordrs are triggered by the events he describes).

Lol, Mad Bob's grave will be the smallest, most crappy pebble I can find.

A lot of heroes have fallen in defence of England. Oh, and Mad Bob fell too. Tripped on a pebble, and a German archer cut his throat.

DEAL done with the chinese. Any more negotiating wanted? Shall I see what America have to offer? Shall I see if we can tech-trade with Germany for peace (now, where did I hear THAT before, lol).

Meanwhile, London's Ruins is finishing its library, it can then start archer. No?

 

[Argh]

Having got Iron Working, the orders state we go for Monotheism. This means getting Masonry first (6 turns). BUT: we are also ordered to change back to slavery...FOR THE LAST TIME! YAY!

1 turn of anarchy, then no more civic hopping! woooooo!

Edit: Even as the enemy attack, our workers are trying to return to carry out their orders to link up the fur resources.

 

[Argh]

Iron resource SW - W of London's Ruins. Oh, and China's axemen are having a drink at a pub in our capital city. They also killed the last barbarian in our territory for us. One axeman is far, far W of capital city, seeeeems ot be heading for Minoan (having come from North of London's Ruins).

It looks like we're still alive. Sigh. All depends on those german archers, all of which are wounded to some degree. They're busy tearing roads up around the capital.

 

[Argh]

IS this never going to end? Our luck is amazing.

Ok, Two German archers attacked London's ruins. Billy led his fellow warriors to meet them on the field of battle. Billy killed one, and his mate "warrior" took down another. The third one cacked his pants, and has gone 2 sq S of London's ruins.

Not only can we breathe again, but we've got Iron Working, and a source of it on our doorstep.

If those chinese axemen hadn't got drunk in our city, then gone and beaten up the barbs. Then, well, I'd be starting a new anarchy game by now...

 

[niffweed17]

try to extort any technologies that the chinese have. if they refuse, declare war on them. if they have no extra techs, ignore this message.

edit, 8:18 PM EST 12/21/05: if you are in good standing (i.e. pleased, friendly) with the chinese and they do not give you the tech, do not declare war on them, but merely send the next available axeman/swordsman to fortify in minoan.

edit: 8:19 PM EST, 12/21/05. do this immediately.

 

[Argh]

Diplomacy:

Asking Germany: What is the deal for peace, results in him responding with: "Westport".

America makes the same offer when asked (just out of interest..no one told me to).

China won't offer anyhting in exchange for Mysticism.

Oh, and our scout Highlander blundered into a german archer, who chopped his head off, and is using his skull as a jam jar.

 

[Argh]

try to extort any technologies that the chinese have. if they refuse, declare war on them. if they have no extra techs, ignore this message.

Declare war, when their two drunk, battle scarred axemen have just, one turn ago, left London's Ruins?

Gulp.

You'll go down in history as the man who lost the first anarchy gam, but we know thats what you want

Diplomacy first.....here goes.

EDIT: 1:22 AM GMT 22/12/2005 (English date system - Lucky I checked again before doing it, eh?

 

[Argh]

We are now at war with every civilization we have met.

China was "cautious" towards us. So, when they refused to give us Agriculture for Mysticism, and then refused to give it to us for nothing (our only other bargaining chip since I'm not allowed to give cities away (Flotorius)......I had no choice.

It's war!

 

[Argh]

Our workboat was in Chinese waters (sorry, I hadnt noticed). Is now trapped on the wrong side with nowhere to go. The chinese axemen were ejected to just outside Minoan, on our border.

They'll be back, and this time, we won't be serving them drinks!