Imperium Offtopicum XXV

From the Free Republic
To the United States

Our two nations, both born of revolutionary war against injustice, are two siblings forever bound by history, culture, and co-existance on this great continent. Following in your nation's footsteps, we have fought against a house divided, but have not yet won. We turn to you to help close this dark chapter in the history of America - we humbly request extradition of all high-ranking Klansmen who have fled to your lands.

From the Harmonic Choir
To the Five Lords of China, Amber Order, the Rationalist Republic, Iberian Republic, the Central European Commonwealth, the Free American Republic, the Maghreb, and whoever else that may be interested.

The scientists of our Harmonious Republic are close to a breakthrough in permanently resolving the Machine Tyrant crisis in this particular form and and safeguarding the Machine-Human coexistence.

We cordially invite those willing to engage in civilized behavior to Cologne where the Koln Machine and our researchers may share their findings and discuss methods of dealing with the crisis. Contributions to our research would also be greatly welcomed.

Per Aspera Ad Astra.

From the Free Republic
To the Harmonic Choir

We shall arrange for the Tuskegee Institute to send a delegation. What is the outline of the breakthrough that your scientists believe will bring peace between Man and Machine?
 
From the Free Republic
To the Harmonic Choir

We shall arrange for the Tuskegee Institute to send a delegation. What is the outline of the breakthrough that your scientists believe will bring peace between Man and Machine?

It is not something that will bring peace. Only thing that will bring peace is diplomacy between human and machines. It is something that will prevent a backslide into a total war between our two peoples and the rebirth of the Machine Tyrant crisis.

The outline of the breakthrough is the discovery of methodology with which machine tyrant used to hijack your machines to wage war against your people. Before you ask, no, research into stopping this method is incomplete. However, with the best minds of the world working to resolve this problem, surely it will only be a matter of time.
 
To: The People's Commonwealth
From: The Dynamic Republic of Italy

To whom it may concern,

The Dynamic Republic is deeply concerned with the inaccurate coverage of our ongoing pacification campaign in Bosnia by Commonwealth newspapers. Such tabloids allege that "hundreds if not thousands of Bosniaks" have been "slaughtered" by Italian troops. This is nothing more than baseless slander. Gen. Roatta and his forces have conducted the integration of Bosnia with the upmost respect for the wellbeing of the local population. Any ongoing violence is the fault of bandits and anarchists launching attacks against Italian military personnel and civilians. Il Comandante desires nothing more than to help the people of the Balkans achieve peace and prosperity under his guidance. He, and the rest of Italy, humbly ask you to condemn this libel before it can do signfigant damage to relations between our two nations.

Regards,
G. Giuarati, Minister for Foreign Affairs
 
To: The People's Commonwealth
From: The Dynamic Republic of Italy

To whom it may concern,

The Dynamic Republic is deeply concerned with the inaccurate coverage of our ongoing pacification campaign in Bosnia by Commonwealth newspapers. Such tabloids allege that "hundreds if not thousands of Bosniaks" have been "slaughtered" by Italian troops. This is nothing more than baseless slander. Gen. Roatta and his forces have conducted the integration of Bosnia with the upmost respect for the wellbeing of the local population. Any ongoing violence is the fault of bandits and anarchists launching attacks against Italian military personnel and civilians. Il Comandante desires nothing more than to help the people of the Balkans achieve peace and prosperity under his guidance. He, and the rest of Italy, humbly ask you to condemn this libel before it can do signfigant damage to relations between our two nations.

Regards,
G. Giuarati, Minister for Foreign Affairs

We've had the writer shot and sent the other staff of this paper to a penal battalion.
 
To: Anyone Interested
From: The Noctarchy

We in the Noctarchy are in the process to increase our oil production. In the interest of maximizing the efficiency we're looking for experts and investements to help us in that process, I'm sure we can negotiate good trade deals.
 
From: The Imperial Russian Foreign Ministry
To: The Ostafrikan Foreign Minister

Your call to conference has been noticed by His Imperial Majesty. We are of the same mind that a solution must be found to the issue of your making before it brings further carnage to the world at large. The Machine Tyrant's terror must be brought to an end and we hope this can be achieved with your government's intensive knowledge on the threat.

While not an immediate concern, His Imperial Majesty expresses immense disdain over a group of your citizens' supporting separatist elements within Russia's borders. For the sake of future relations, we hope this glaring issue, among others, can be solved when our delegate arrives at your Pan-Human conference.
 
To: Ostafrika
From: The United Kingdom

The United Kingdom will attend although we object to in no uncertain terms the implicit invitation of the inhuman state known as the Notarchy as they are neither free or human. We are also concerned that Spain's government will leak information about our operations due to machines being permitted into the highest level of their governments.

Under further deliberation, we have to agree with the points made regarding the Notarchy. Vampirism should not be regarded as the same as humanity, but are instead a separate class of species. Although we do not wish to pick fights unnecessarily, and it would be a foolhardy act to equate vampirism as being anywhere as hostile or threatening as the proliferation of machines, we do understand the British desire to limit our conference to purely verifiable humans.

Ostafrika believes the situation with Spain's government to be more complicated, given that their regime is identifiably human, although we concur with concerns that Madrid is not doing enough to combat fifth column elements within their constituent Basque region. However, given the Spanish Confederation current intention to not come to Dar es Saleem, we believe this is a moot point.

Regardless, we are happy to receive your delegation to the conference.

To: Ostafrika
From: Portugal

After careful deliberation, our erstwhile government in Lisbon can do nothing else but agree with the notion that humanity must come together to face such a threat, especially considering the balance of power in the world should the United Kingdom fall. Portugal will send a delegation to this conference, and we hope that, with luck, we can devise a plan to strike down this threat before it becomes impossible to control.

Ostafrika is pleased to accept the Portuguese delegation.

To: Ostafrika
From: The Neo Incan Empire

We agree with your sentiments that humanity must unite against the metal menace. God will not forgive us if we let innocent people be slaughtered by the Demon-Machine and his petroleum powered puppets. If you get enough support to get this endeavor off the ground, we do have some requests that must be met for our participation. We will not be seated or housed anywhere near the Spanish delegation if they attend. We have suffered enough from their betrayal and greed, and while we will fight to save all of god's servants, we will always be on guard against a Spanish knife in our back.

As mentioned above, Madrid appears to not be attending, making this a moot point. We welcome the Neo-Incan delegation.

From: The Imperial Russian Foreign Ministry
To: The Ostafrikan Foreign Minister


Your call to conference has been noticed by His Imperial Majesty. We are of the same mind that a solution must be found to the issue of your making before it brings further carnage to the world at large. The Machine Tyrant's terror must be brought to an end and we hope this can be achieved with your government's intensive knowledge on the threat.

While not an immediate concern, His Imperial Majesty expresses immense disdain over a group of your citizens' supporting separatist elements within Russia's borders. For the sake of future relations, we hope this glaring issue, among others, can be solved when our delegate arrives at your Pan-Human conference.

The current opinion of our government that the one true, legitimate German government is the German Empire, as embodied by Kaiser Wilhelm III, with the colonial government of Ostafrika executing its day-to-day management until which time we may one day be able to return to our ancestral homeland. Any elements of the former German military which refuses to accept the authority of the Kaiser and the legitimate chain of command is a traitor to the eyes of Dar es Salaam, and we do not wish to associate with such scoundrels.

In the meantime, we welcome the Russian delegation to our capital.
 
To: Deustch-Ostafrika
From: The Dynamic Republic of Italy


To whom it may concern,

Though Il Comandante he and the rest of Italy are deeply alarmed by the reappearance of the "Machine Tyrant" (assuming this is the Tyrant itself, and not some local anarchist using its likeness to draw international attention). We are fully prepared to send a delegation to Dar es Salaam as soon as possible, pending your approval. We understand that your government may be reluctant to work with us following the unfortunate rupture in our relations during the Great War. Nonetheless, we hope that this partnership may mark the first step in restoring the long-standing bonds between Germany and Italy.

Regards,
G. Giuarati, Minister for Foreign Affairs

We've had the writer shot and sent the other staff of this paper to a penal battalion.

Addendum: We strongly encourage the Commonwealth to take better measures to ensure the safety of its citizens, rather than allow them to wander about unescorted through active battlegrounds. Nonetheless, the Italian government assumes full responsibility for the deaths and imprisonments of the aforementioned journalists. We offer our most sincere apologies, and assure you that measures will be taken to prevent civilian casualties in future anti-partisan operations.
 
To: Deustch-Ostafrika
From: The Dynamic Republic of Italy


To whom it may concern,

Though Il Comandante he and the rest of Italy are deeply alarmed by the reappearance of the "Machine Tyrant" (assuming this is the Tyrant itself, and not some local anarchist using its likeness to draw international attention). We are fully prepared to send a delegation to Dar es Salaam as soon as possible, pending your approval. We understand that your government may be reluctant to work with us following the unfortunate rupture in our relations during the Great War. Nonetheless, we hope that this partnership may mark the first step in restoring the long-standing bonds between Germany and Italy.

Regards,
G. Giuarati, Minister for Foreign Affairs

We are furthermore pleased to accept the Italian and French* delegations to the conference

*OOC: France communicated with me via discord
 
To: Ostafrika
From: British East African Colonial Authorities


the BEACA ruling goverment not only agrees to the offer of going to Der es salaam, but has the full weight of the rulling coalition to gladly take part of the great fight against the great enemies that is the tyrant, and while it can't perhaps gurantee unquestionable and complete support from all parties of the current parliament, rest assured that the rulling coalition will work hard internally in ensuring that those of the BEACA see the need of perhaps uniting again on the same banner to deal with the potentially incoming tide
 
From France,
To the governments of Italy and Romania
,

We categorically denounce your aggressive invasions and slaughter of your neighbors. We call for an immediate ceasefire and withdrawal of your forces from sovereign foreign territories.

To Italy:

We will be sending our hospital ship and non-combat civilian refugee support doctors and engineers to assist the Bosnian civilians ravaged and displaced by your aggressions. We will work with your military to avoid active combat zones and expect you to allow us to do our humanitarian work unimpeded.
 
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To: France
From: Italy


To whom it may concern,

What you can an "invasion" is nothing more than the annexation of rightful Italian territory. We have no obligation to heed the demands of those who baselessly call us murderers. Italy will not be intimidated. And we will not permit any sort of aid, "humanitarian" or otherwise, until the French government ceases their interference in our affairs and issues a formal apology.

Regards,
G. Giuarati, Minister for Foreign Affairs
 
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Ooc: what threats?
 
CHANGES IN PARLIAMENT AFTER EVENTS IN BRITAIN: UWP LOSSES MEMBERS!



a few days ago, news have begun reaching about the situation that had happen down in the UK, and the untold deaths the machine tyrant had caused, this news would force a emergency meeting on the parliament, a emergency meeting that was closed off for reporting, and while we not exactly sure what happened inside, the rumours where quite clear as the events in the British isles have helped shape the way of how BEACA looks at the united kingdom.

for starter, iti s to note the rather massive drop of seats for the UWP, losing a total of 10 seats as it rather socialist and republican stance became a symbol of much distrust towards it, and while this hasn't knocked the UWP out as a major party, it has certainly helped as a boost, mainly that to the Londoners(OOC:royal party in purple, read more in page 4 if you need more info about the parties and the colour, trust me it would help) gaining 5 out of those 10 seats as it extreme pro-London stance helped it become as a symbol of some form as "Britain's supporter", it is also worth noting the 3 that the imperial socialists although that as much due to its rather curious opinion on the monarchy in the UK, with the last 2 ending in the agrarians as the only UWP seats in Uganda ends in their control, not only strengthening the government coalition, but also strengthening the already strong hold that the agrarians hold, ensuring that Uganda still is in the influence of the agrarians.

it is also worth noting, albeit small, of +1 seat to the NAC, as the fact it was allowed to the Barcelona forum has managed to gain some supporter from the African cause and have 1 member of the KAU to join their side, while this hasn't changed much for the african struggle in mantaining a unified front, it still shows the fact that there some rustling down there, and if that will mean anything is yet to be seen.

this is are the overall changes

GOVERMENT SIDE:
EAUP:60(no changes)
AL:21(+2)
RVA:16(no changes)
BMF:6(no changes)

OPPOSITION SIDE:
UWF:41(-10)
NRFNB:27(+3)
RP:17(+5)
NFM:10(no changes)
NAC:9(+1)
KAU:5(-1)
MMM:5(no changes)
BC:3(no changes)
 
To: France
From: Italy


To whom it may concern,

What you can an "invasion" is nothing more than the annexation of rightful Italian territory. We have no obligation to heed the demands of those who baselessly call us murderers. Italy will not be intimidated. And we will not permit any sort of aid, "humanitarian" or otherwise, until the French government ceases their interference in our affairs and issues a formal apology.

Regards,
G. Giuarati, Minister for Foreign Affairs

From The Rationalist Republic
To G. Giuarati, Minister for Foreign Affairs, Italy,


We offer neither insults, nor intimidation. No apology will be forthcoming.

Our nation, in this time of violence and bloodshed, brings clean water and medicine to those innocents displaced by violence, war, and disease. We will coordinate communications with your military to avoid areas of active conflict but expect that you take reasonable action to avoid targeting our humanitarian aid workers as well as Bosnian non-combatant civilians.
 
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From Australasia
To World


What is a Bosnia?
 
The orders deadline is officially: November 14, 11:59 PM. Please notify ASAP if you will need an extension.
 
I am pushing the deadline 2 days, back to November 16, 11:59 PM. It's just more convenient for me.

As an engagement exercise, I'd like everyone to consider writing a story about the mechanicrafting, spellcasting, or various comparable industry in their nation. You'll get treats in the form of opportunities if you do.
 
Simple Thermodynamics

"I don't know what to tell you," Elea the pyromancer tells her civilian girlfriend, Angelika one day when she asks the pyromancer about her machines, and why they were universally more useful for freezing and cooling things than actually setting things on fire. "It's simple thermodynamics."

A banner of ink painted onto silk fluttered in the walled city of Frankfurt, secured against rogue robots and the Polish alike. Elea had grown up along the beaches and the river lands, so thus found the city rather pleasing, while Angelika from the mountains found it rather nerve wrecking with all the machines walking around. She was still spooked around the Choir robots, which amused Elea greatly because Angelika had long luxurious locks that fluttered wildly whenever she jumped.

"We were told to beware of machine sounds," Angelika protested when Elea teased her about it. "As it could be a sign of an incursion!"

"Pyromancy machines for all your cooling needs," Elea's flier read on her workshop bench. Angelika was rather critical of her chosen title. "If your focus is on cooling things," she asked. "Wouldn't cryomancer be a much more appropriate title?"

"No, because I don't actually directly cool things," Elea tried to explain to her. "I manipulate heat. My machines steal heat away from the location, and in doing so cool things down," she says. "It's a relatively simple application of paralogic and thermodynamics when you think about it."

Angelika mumbles a non-committal note of acknowledgement as she wanders away, looking at the pile of cooling machines in Elea's workshop. They decided to pick up a new cooling machine for their apartment from their unsold merchandise, and were looking for the one with just the proper design.

Elea doesn't even remember making most of these junk. Most of them are prototypes in some way or form, or composed of such embrassing and strange motifs that she can't bear to display them at her own house. "Hey," Angelika says. "How about I help you pick out the machine?"

"I thought you didn't know anything about paracausal machines," Elea mumbles as she walks up to Angelika. Whenever paralogicians display their wares in the city fare, Angelika's more concerned about the *aesthetics* of the products and the paralogician themselves than the usefulness of the machine itself. "Oh, I don't know anything about your fancy paracausal magics," Angelika says. "But I am trained in conventional sciences. And I do know you pretty well."

She points out a simple looking machine with calligraphic markings on front. At first, Elea is not a fan, but than she notices the complex scientific notations engraved on the bottom edge. Heat diffusion equations.

"And tonight," Angelika whispers into Elea's ear. "We are gonna see how far you can get in reading all these equations before I make you--"

"Okay, we'll take this one," Elea says, forcefully.
 
Gentleman welcome to Watchtown USA, Australasia. I would like to thank you all for coming to visit our little slice of America in Australasia. What seems like a lifetime ago, if you had told me I would be living and working in South Australia I would have told you to take yourself off the asylum. You see, gentleman, in those days I ran the Illinois Watch Company factory based out of Springfield Illinois. We specialised in railroad chronometers and dare I say it ours were the best in the world.

Groans? Of course, of course. You see seated among you are alumni of the Waltham, Elgin and Hamilton watch corporations. Fine watchmakers they were too! Competitors with my own beloved Illinois. We were America's finest watchmakers. We came from across the land. Elgin and Illinois from Illinois. Waltham from Massachusetts. Hamilton from Pennsylvania. Those were the days gentleman. We built beautiful watches, exacting timepieces. We set the standard for chronometers. Our collective output was world leading.

And now? Well here we are. The best and brightest of American watchmaking living in Watchtown USA. My own factory was burned to the ground. The barbarians work you see. Elgin's factory I think they turned that into a stables. Hamilton? Burned like Illinois by a different sort of barbarian. Waltham that was abandoned. We were all out jobs all of us here. There was no watch industry to employ us. But then Mr Woods of the Australasian Emigration Office contacted us. He offered us a loan. All of us. Together we could start a new life. Start a factory. Become men of means. I didn't believe it. None of us did.

But well we had nothing else. We corresponded among us. We wrote and wrote and wrote. We reached a decision. We accepted the deal. Mr Woods gave us a letter of credit the next morning. We fanned out. Hiring men we knew from the old days. Elgin's machines... well Mr Adams found those in the basement of the building. He bought them for scrap prices! Scrap! The finest watchmaking equipment in the world sold for scrap! Waltham we got for nothing. We snapped up this and that. We wrote to our friends in Europe. We got a fair few to come over from Breguet. Not everyone was happy with the state of things. We got some Swiss. Some Russians. Danes, Dutch and English.

After the dust had settled we had bought enough for four factories. We had staff enough for them too. Four thousand of us from all over the world came to Australasia. They settled us at what was then the outskirts of Adelaide. They had built four factories to our specifications. We put our machines in and got working. The first watch we produced was the Hope Chronometer -- the most accurate railroad chronometer in the world! We still hold that record. Our shared experience and skills have seen us lead the world! We are the cutting edge. The avant garde. The rest of the world looks on what we build and fears us.

Why? Because we leave them in the dust. The first waterproof watch! Ours. The first self-winding wrist watch! Ours. The first self-winding watch to run for twelve hours! Ours. The first self-winding watch to run for up to a full day! Ours. The first electric watch! Ours. Powered by a worlds smallest solenoid! Ours. And, gentleman, yours now too. For you have given us a home when had none. And we are all eternally grateful. Our former homes are ruins of what they once were. But our new home, the one you allowed us to build, is magnificent. And we hope that through our labours here that we repay your confidence in us ten-fold! Because that is the measure of our gratitude and the worth of this great nation!

Thank you. Now gentlemen a toast -- to our sponsor Foster's Lager!
 
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