Isabella is breaking my heart!

[HilloPäällikkö]

Boudica

 

[Elros]

Note the glare.

You've only just met and she's plotting to eat you alive.

 

[HilloPäällikkö]

Well, i am expecting her to declare war in the next 200-300 years

 

[Gaius Octavius]

hmmz, that's an advantage i never realized i had! i never get distracted by the beauty of the female leaders. isabella's one of the leaders i'm most likely to go bloodthirsty on in fact, since usually her empire comes with a bonus shrine or two. i'd try not to if things had worked out between her and EOR, but since they didn't, i'll continue guilt-free.

i kind of have a crush on Gus tho. don't tell him!

Aw, shucks, Kmad, it's because I supported you for CFC diplomatic victory, isn't it?

Anyway, I haven't had any trouble out of Isabella lately, perhaps because I never pay much attention to her.

Regardless, I'm clearly the Flaming Sword of Christ, as I'm purging cities or capturing them as needed from Pericles and Mansa Musa. So while I'm off to war all the time, Willem and Izzy are in MY Apostolic Palace, entertaining themselves, not willing to declare war on anybody I'm fighting. I better not catch her in bed with him, or else there's gonna be hell to pay.

Kinda disappointed. Since I build the damn Palace so I can go Jihading, and yet the crazy religious girl won't declare war on the non-believers.

I think it violates some kind of weird Firaxis law if you try to go jihading while you're a Christian nation. But that's the first time I've heard of Izzy not wanting to war against other faiths.

 

[BYC]

Aw, shucks, Kmad, it's because I supported you for CFC diplomatic victory, isn't it?

Anyway, I haven't had any trouble out of Isabella lately, perhaps because I never pay much attention to her.



I think it violates some kind of weird Firaxis law if you try to go jihading while you're a Christian nation. But that's the first time I've heard of Izzy not wanting to war against other faiths.

I finally got her to do some holy wars, and now I think she's hooked. She won't stop, which is really funny.

 

[Grimus]

LOL, I know how you feel my friend! Those Civ women, can't live with them... can't live without them.

 

[Warspite2]

I'm new to civ games. Anyway, so I try the Warlord level, and I didn't have to care what I was building and what I trained, the enemy pretty much gave their cities to me. Then I tried Prince difficulty and I was at war against everyone from turn 1 and they killed me within 5 turns. So I change to Noble difficulty, now I get to make a city or two before everyones at war with me. Even my best buddies who doesn't have anything bad to say about me. Why is this?

So this latest map, I thought I was doing good, I'm on this continent with Isabella. It's an island and we have some 6-7-8 cities each on it. we're best of friends, same religion, same civics, we've make love regularly, and she even cooks me breakfast every morning. Everything is fine, love is in the air, and we're talking about a future with kids and stuff on new continents. My best buddy Pacal II just loves me too. We make decent deals and have the same civics and religion. Pacal lives on the next island, where I also have a few cities. We have our poker nights and go out to have a beer or so occationally. I even fixed his washing machine a few days ago.

Then from nowhere Isabella starts a war against me, and totally refuses to talk to me. I call her, leave messages and everything, but nothing, she just hates me. All of a sudden I turned from a lover to an azzh0le, and the only good thing she has to say about me is my religion as she is buddhist too. All I do is defend, because I have nothing to attack with, so she takes a town from me and quits attacking, but she still won't listen to what I have to say. Only insults, she's breaking my heart!!!

Then some 10-15 turns later this other guy pops in, from nowhere, I think he said his name was Hannibal or something and he starts to rape my lands with huge armies. His blood thirsty elephants stomps my workers to death and whatever rock I throw at his army they eat whole. At least he could chew them a tad, but no. Now some American president introduced himself to me and I'm pretty sure I'm at war with him within 5-6 turns. My only friend Pacal is just sitting and doing nothing, I ask him to help me out, but I'm not sure he wants to be my friend anymore, eventhough he says he's my friend. Will he backstab me too like Isabella did? I'm afraid of going out and meet new people now, I'm sure they will hate me too from day 1 and I don't want that.

This Hannibal guy and Isabella have nothing in common, but did she get in bed with him and now they're plotting to get rid of me or what? Why does she have to be so harsh? I wish we could solve this like adults. I mean if they're having an affair, fine, I can take it, but why do they have to kill me?

What am I doing wrong?

Anyway, like a few others mention, you have to keep a military around. Even if you are not at war. I know because I used to be very cheap with my military, then I got tired of getting slammed. Now I keep around at least 2 or 3 (sometimes more) of my most advanced units in each of my cities for garrisons. Then I keep a decent attack force (the size depends on what I can afford) in my main city that can respond to any attacks within 2 turns. This way, I have room to refuse their demands and they will think twice before attacking me. The thing is, at the same time you don't want to have too many military units sitting around costing you money, that won't work either. The thing to keep in mind, just because you are not at war don't mean a military unit sitting in a city is not doing anything. They keep the AI off your back and keep your people happy depending on the civics.

 

[Flouzemaker]

Isabella says:

"I shall be forced to pout if you do not write about me, EOR!"

 

[BYC]

Isabella says:

"I shall be forced to DESTROY YOUR HEATHEN HEART if you do not write about me, EOR!"

Fixed for you.

 

[EOR]

oh man... hmm...

 

[Elros]

Sucks to be you EOR

 

[hoopsnerd]

Cathy is better in the sack than Isabella anyways... Isabella is so uptight, but Cathy will try ANYTHING.

 

[sagelnarg]

Hattie's wink does it for me everytime

Yeah, me too. And if she's mad at me, I'm feeling guilty.
Haven't seen her for a while though ...

 

[Öjevind Lång]

Yeah, me too. And if she's mad at me, I'm feeling guilty.
Haven't seen her for a while though ...

Hattie is so good-natured that she's incapable of staying mad at you if you treat her halfway decently. Isabella is so ornery that she'll hate you almost regardless, unless you happen to share the same religion, and even then, you had better deal carefully with her. Catherine is simply a mercenary without any scruples of any kind.

 

[Silence101]

Hattie is awesome - as much as I like war, I don't recall ever having been at war with Hattie. She's a good tech partner (w/ no tech brokering) - and yeah, she does ask for a lot of stuff... sometimes you gotta know when just to say no.

 

[e350tb]

Take my advice....Churchill is a brilliant ally if you really take the perseverance to not backstab him, if you ask me. You should also think of Lincoln as an ally, if you can.

As for girls, Hatty oir Elizabeth are reletivly safe, but gimme Boudica any day.

 

[Bast]

That Mehmet is not as nice as he looks, eh? Henry VIII was content with beheading wives who cheated on him. He did it to two of them: Anne Boleyn (who was probably innocent) and Catherine Howard.

Anne Boleyn did not give Henry an heir, only a worthless daughter called Elizabeth. Of course, Henry realized that a mere girl like Elizabeth would never amount to anything, and he had clapped his eyes on another woman (Jane Seymour) who he thought would give him the male heir he obsessively wanted, so he let his henchmen manufacture a lot of charges of adultery against Anne. He also had them declare Elizabeth a bastard so she couldn't inherit the throne.

Elizabeth's older half-sister Mary had already been declared ineligible to the throne after her mother Catherine of Aragon's marriage to Henry had been annulled; Henry had to enact the Reformation for that to be possible, because the Pope opposed the annulment. The reason for the divorce was that Henry had made Anne pregnant, hoped for a male heir and wanted to marry her. All the same, Henry was technically in the right because Catherine of Aragon was his brother's widow, so Henry's marriage to her was against canonical law and when he had married her, he first had to get the Pope's dispensation for it. The Pope was virtually a prisoner of Catherine of Aragon's nephew, the Emperor Charles, so he had consented to that. For the same reason, he opposed the annulment, so it became a Protestant one instead. And of course, once the annulment had been enacted, Mary technically became a bastard.

After having had Anne Boleyn beheaded, Henry married Jane, who gave birth to the coveted son. Jane died at childbirth. Henry then married the German Princess Anne of Cleves, but she was so ugly that he divorced her, claiming the marriage was unconsummated. (Apparently, Anne of Cleves was rather relieved, because Henry was not a very handsome man any longer, so the lack of attraction was mutual.) Then Fate or someone must have decided to give Henry the ****old's horns he seemed to be claiming, so the next woman he married, Catherine Howard, did indeed cheat on him and was duly beheaded. Then he married Catherine Parr, who took care of him in his old age and was a nice stepmother to Henry's three children.

Henry's son with Jane Seymour was named Edward. He succeeded to the throne at the age of ten, though of course he didn't rule; the Earl of Northumberland did in his name. Edward was sickly and died at the age of sixteen; before his death, Northumberland had persuaded him to name his cousin once removed, Jane Grey (granddaughter of Henry's sister and married to Northumberland's son) heir to the throne. But Mary's followers wouldn't have any of that, so they rebelled and Mary ended on the throne. Then poor Jane Grey was executed after a *Protestant* rebellion which ensued. Being a fierce Catholic, Mary persecuted and executed Protestants, whereas under Northumberland (ruling in Edward's name) it was Catholics who had been persecuted.

Well, then Mary died and England got that insignificant girl Elizabeth as a ruler. In fact, she ruled for many years, as you know, and not without distinction. She had barely escaped being executed by her half-sister a couple of times; there were lots of people who had liked her mother or who disliked being ruled by the Catholic Mary. As the Civilopedia says, Elizabeth wanted to pursue a policy of religious tolerance, but there were several Catholic conspiracies against her life, which resulted in more people being executed. Still, there were no church tribunals or burnings at the stake, and nobody was executed just for their religion.

Oh, dear - did you find this confusing? I believe many generations of English school children have too. Here is a brief summary of Henrian wifery:

1. Catherine of Aragon, Mary's mother (divorced)
2. Anne Boleyn, Elizabeth's mother (executed)
3. Jane Seymour, Edward's mother (died in childbirth)
4. Anne of Cleves (divorced)
5. Catherine Howard (executed)
6. Catherine Parr (survived Henry)

And here is a short memory tag used by English teachers:

Divorced, beheaded, died;
Divorced, beheaded, survived.

Here comes an extremely hard question: Who is the real bastard in this story?

Pretty good summary. I dislike Henry VIII but remember that wives like Jane Seymour aren't saints either. The plot to execute Anne Boleyn was orchestrated by numerous people and obviously a lot of them involved the Seymours.

It wasn't just Henry VIII killing wives along the way, it was always groups of families that were out for their own interests.

 

[Elros]

You have to admire Henry's grasp of basic genetics. Chopping people's heads off definitely increases the chances of them giving you a male heir.

 

[Quildavyr]

I have seen today on TV something like Henry VIII's Harem,but i cant remember it properly.(Maybe it is a new serie)

 

[EOR]

Oh man, I think I'm in trouble again... I'm NOT accusing anyone here, but I lost something a week or so ago and I believe I was robbed or something. And the timing was terrible too, I mean, for some strange reason some of you guys wanted me to do some story or something and I thought about it and figured it might be cool since I've never done anything like that before. I did write some stuff down and all, but then the disaster strikes. I didn't even notice it at first since everything was moving so fast, but while doing some gaming and writing stuff down it hits me that I've lost every bit of motivation I had, for gaming that is. I've been looking everywhere for at least one motivation, but I just can't find any, not even a bit.

Maybe it was that Isabella chick, I mean, she hasn't been so nice to me lately... or to be honest, ever. Yet it doesn't seem like her thing, she's mean and all, but is she a thief too? I don't think so, but I can't possibly know for sure. My second (or actually the first) suspect is Hannibal. The last game I did against him he took everything I had, he left me with nothing. He snatched my girl, my lands, my money... everything... and what he didn't take he destroeyd, such as my army, my house, my boat, my self esteem...

I tried to contact my old pal Pacal to ask him he wanted to help me out finding my motivation by asking Hannibal and/or others if they know anything about this, but Pacal is not returning my calls. Maybe his answering machine broke down or maybe he didn't get my messages, I dunno. The same goes with Izzy, haven't heard from her in a week or so.

I'm getting desperate here and now my only hope is you guys, maybe you know where to find what I've lost, or maybe you could ask Izzy or Hannibal or any other leader that have shown symptoms of kleptomania or other criminal tendencies in the past. Or if you don't want to ask directly (which I totally understand if you don't want to, I mean, accusing someone for theft...) maybe your spies could look into things while doing other spy-work-stuff?

HELP!