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John Kerry Says He Worked Hard to Become Mr. Heinz
1/30/2004 - William Grim
Paris, France - Speaking from his presidential campaign headquarters this morning, Senator John F. Kerry-Heinz denied accusations from his opponents for the Democrat nomination that he is a glorified gigolo and playboy who has used his wifes millions to garner a top position in the crowded field for the Democrat nomination.
Kerry-Heinz seemed particularly upset at the Rev. Al Sharptons characterization of him as a lazy ass cracker whos never worked a day in his life. Kerry-Heinzs voice almost displayed emotion as he told the press, Ill have you know that I worked very hard to become Mr. Heinz and have access to my wifes inheritance. I had to work out three hours a day and undergo a strict nutritional regimen to be able to compete against the young gigolos out there, many of whom are two decades younger than me. And I did it before viagra.
Kerry-Heinz then stormed out of the session, but returned briefly to announce, And another thing. Bagging an older wealthy widow has changed me in many ways. I have a lot more respect for Richard Gere now.
In related news, Senator Kerry-Heinz announced that if he is elected president he will divorce his current wife and will marry either Queen Noor of Jordan, Anna-Nicole Smith or a widow to be named later.
http://www.brokennewz.com/displaystory.asp_Q_storyid_E_712mrheinz
1/30/2004 - William Grim
Paris, France - Speaking from his presidential campaign headquarters this morning, Senator John F. Kerry-Heinz denied accusations from his opponents for the Democrat nomination that he is a glorified gigolo and playboy who has used his wifes millions to garner a top position in the crowded field for the Democrat nomination.
Kerry-Heinz seemed particularly upset at the Rev. Al Sharptons characterization of him as a lazy ass cracker whos never worked a day in his life. Kerry-Heinzs voice almost displayed emotion as he told the press, Ill have you know that I worked very hard to become Mr. Heinz and have access to my wifes inheritance. I had to work out three hours a day and undergo a strict nutritional regimen to be able to compete against the young gigolos out there, many of whom are two decades younger than me. And I did it before viagra.
Kerry-Heinz then stormed out of the session, but returned briefly to announce, And another thing. Bagging an older wealthy widow has changed me in many ways. I have a lot more respect for Richard Gere now.
In related news, Senator Kerry-Heinz announced that if he is elected president he will divorce his current wife and will marry either Queen Noor of Jordan, Anna-Nicole Smith or a widow to be named later.
http://www.brokennewz.com/displaystory.asp_Q_storyid_E_712mrheinz
