Kaboom-skie

[Stuck_as_a_Mac]

Dateline: 1370 AD

In the somewhat peaceful village of Gordium, residents awoke last night to a startling sight: The citys library had, for lack of a better word, aslpoded. Where there had once been a veritable insitution of learning, there now stood a smoldering hole.

Local residents were shocked at this barbaric display of events. While it was first thought to be the work of a foreign enemy, officials hasitly concluded that our enemies lacked the skill, class and finess to pull off an operation like this. Head of the Fanatannian Intelligence Office, Shaitan "Disorganized" Cycly (had to) declared late last night, "We will not rest until the culprit is found, tried and hopefully placed behind bars!"

Little information is available at this period. All we at the Bulletin really know is that this didn't happen at Oxford and now there are suddenly armed men guarding the pipe organ. Evening "mass" will still go on as planed, so please do prepare to sing. A reminder: Tonights work will be Benjamin Brittens "War Requiem", written in commemeration of the Indo-Dutch wars.

We urge all citizens to be alert! This could be a cultural war of the likes we have never seen. We also caution all citizens, except for the truly crazy ones or the ones who feel like writing (and checking their spelling...) to stay away from Gordium.

That is all

OCC: Well, someone had to do it. Build on.

 

[Stuck_as_a_Mac]

bump...
c'mon... doesnt anyone wanna do this, or is DG1 RPGing really dead?

 

[classical_hero]

bump...
c'mon... doesnt anyone wanna do this, or is DG1 RPGing really dead?

It seems that RPGing is dead. It was killed off by a take over for those who wanted to win by Culture, and those who wanted to win via Domination. Those who want to win by Domination are a bit kinky.

 

[Donovan Zoi]

Donovan Zoi had just reached Gordium city limits when he heard the blast. He had driven all night to get from the capital to the far reaches of Fanatannia, ready to lead the locals in a stand against the tyranny of his own government.

This issue of the library was obviously a hot spot in Gordium, thanks to the fiery and unpredictable nature of their new cause champion. Donovan Zoi's near treasonous diatribes against the government had wrestled even the mutli-front war from the headlines in recent days, and he made several enemies in doing so. Yet it always felt like the right thing to him, and he had hoped that his pilgrimage to Gordium would confirm his instincts once he met up with the grateful townspeople.

Instead, the world he entered was utter chaos. Citizens were running for cover amidst the smoke, while others were beginning to riot in the streets. In order to regroup this crowd, Donovan knew he would have to make a drastic move. So he drove his vehicle straight up the steps of City Hall and through the front door.

This distraction actually caused people to stop and take notice, but Donovan knew his moment would fade fast. So out he jumped from the car, ever-present bullhorn in hand. Upon seeing this newly-familiar face, a wave of realization swept over the crowd and they began to gather around the Hall steps.

Donovan spoke:

"People of Gordium, I had come to stand with you, to defend your right to your heritage. But it appears I am too late.

It appears that those who have fairly lost the referendum to tear your cultural resources from your hands have now taken this matter into theirs. It appears that those who have visited greed and bloodlust upon many lands, including your own, now wish to circumvent our right to vote on issues by nullifying our recent victory for Gordium by using means with which they are far too familiar.

Who could have done such a thing? Based on the skill and precision that turned your learning center into smouldering ashes, there is only one possible villain who could be responsible. Let us fight to the death against these imperialists and their cult-like fascination with numbers. And in the process, let's fight for the people of Fanatannia who have been unwittingly held hostage by this regime for far ages.

People of Gordium, let our fight be an inspiration for those who dare not stand up against the warmongers in bard's clothing. The enemy's path of enlightenment is the sword, and their desire for culture is a lie. Let our story rage across the land, so that one day soon, our nation can finally pursue a true cultural policy instead of one predicated on fear, denial and death.

Who shall stand with me and FIGHT!!?"

With this final cry, the people of Gordium raised their fists in triumph, though most knew they would not live to see the glories promised by their charismatic, yet naive, leader..........

 

[Nobody]

Nobotti was sittin smoking a cigar with his ever small group of boyz, talking about some broad he meet when we was in camalot last week and the wonders she could do with vacum cleaner
Nobotti: "...so i said"look hun go get me a bottle of Della Mucca and maybe we can talk about it""
Boyz:" HAHAHAHAH DATS A GOOD ONE BOSS HERE WHAT HE SAID Della Mucca HAHAHA"
when all of a sudden little Classica "bubbyboy" Muscia came runing out
Musica: "hey boss did ya here the SOBs in gordium they set fire to da musemum"
Nobotti: " dats a bloody disgrace, you known the books they had there Geez Louise *nobotti shakes his two fingers*

Musica: "Say da word boss, say da word"......................

 

[Double Stack]

DoubleStack arrived in Gordium with his assistants. They step off the train in the morning and smell an awful stench of burned paper. Puzzled at the stench, Double dispatched an assistant to discover the source while the rest get about to survey the city. After all, Double Stack becomes Governor for the province of (insert new name later) #4. However the dispatched assistant wasn't needed as the crew step out of the train station and discover a sign on top of a big rubble saying "Gordium Public Library is closed"

"Who the S@^ of the B!#($ did this cruel act of disculturalization? Don't tell me that a Mayan spy got in here and took it down! They don't even have artillery near here!"

"Sir!" shouted the dispatched one, "by order of our government, the library was to be closed permenantly and the local mayor believe that to mean a stack of rubble of what once was the library. Apparently the mayor was trying to kiss up to the president but missed his mark! He ain't very bright, unfortunately ain't very daft either"

"Put down first thing on the list, FIRE GORDIUM's MAYOR" said Governor Double. "And I mean he is out of a job, not burned to death!" as he walked away to a local hotel.

 

[classical_hero]

The Minister of Culture arrives in Gordium. His car is pelted with rocks and rotten food. The crowd is very angry. They are angry for the fact that their nation that once existed. They also have heard rumours that ome building might be sold in the interet of the general populace. Classica Musica gets up to the podium to speak. There is a lot of booing happening as Clasica Musica arrives at the podium.

"My fellow brethren, hold your peace."

boos echo around the building

"Do not blame me for the mess we are in. I am trying to correct the errors of others. We need to bet rid of these buildings beause you do not need them. The choice is clear, we get rid of these buildings, or we get rid of this city."

The crowd was in such an uproar about the Ministers words, that they started pelting the minister himself with rocks and rotten food. Fortunately his bodyguards got in his beofre anything seriously happened.

"I'm sorry but this is all that we can do for this God forsaken town. Your previous masters were fools. That is why we rule and make diecision for you. Because you guys are idiots and do not know the bigger picture. That is why we are making decisions for you guys. Let's get out of here. By order of the Cultural Minister, we will do something about this city. Good bye, and may God have mercy one your souls, because you need it."

The minister makes an hasty retreat through an exit out the back.

"I am so glad that I have ties to La Costa Nostra. They will be able to sort out this mess."

 

[GenMarshall]

The chief justice elect, CivGeneral, arives into Gordium after hearing word that the city is undergoing deculturization

Talk about eminent domain at its worse in the demogame. Who would be crasy enough to tear down our places of culture.

CivGeneral then wanders into the street looking for someone who has the answers and possibly find an organisation that is advocating to save our culture

 

[Provolution]

Then Provolution tossed the sword through the Gordion knot, slicing it in one go.
Then he yelled, like Russel Crowe in Gladiator "Are you entertained ? !!!"

 

[Stuck_as_a_Mac]

SaaM had never seen so much chaos. As the Mayor of Oxford, Editor of the Bulletin and a bunch of other things, SaaM had seen some crazy stuff, but never anything like this before. Conspircaies are flying left and right. It may have been the Maffia, the Mayans, a 5-4 ruling of the Supreme Court, radioactive monkeys named abstain (whatever they were) or anything.

Suddenly, a bag with the words "A Clue, Dumbarse" on it was thrown at SaaM.

It smelled funny.

SaaM opened it. Inside the bag was...

An eggplant

Yes, an eggplant. The purple vegetable. What that has anything to do with anything remains to be seen...

OCC: Yep. That's your clue. I'm also glad to see people have taken to this one.

 

[Chieftess]

An anonymous, typed letter arrives at the headquaters of several key sites in Gordium:

Mailed from the City of Persepolis:
People of Gordium, I do symphasize with you, however, this nation should not have gone out of their way to attack such a peaceful people. I am in the government, but I was one of few disenting voices on the war against Persia. You shall know who I am soon. I am on your side.

-- Anonymous

 

[Bertie]

Schoolmarm Thwackum, simply dressed in a tight black leather skirt and a white blouse, walked into the classroom and glanced at the attentive faces of the students seated before her. The usual mix of fear, boredom, studiousness, and, um, day dreaming played across her students’ faces.

“I’ll return yesterday’s essays at the end of class,” she announced. “Some of you still need to come to terms with the spelling of the Fanatannian language.” Stuck_as_a_Mac slunk in his chair. “If spelling doesn’t improve . . . well, let’s just say I have my methods and leave it at that, shall we?”

Schoolmarm Thwackum quickly took attendance, noting that Ethelbert was once again absent. The quick cruel smile that is her trademark played briefly on her voluptuously full crimson-painted lips as she contemplated appropriate punishment for such dilatory behavior. Ever the Schoolmarm, she also thought an interesting test question would be asking about the difference between sensuous and sensual. She briefly shook her raven tresses as she focused on the present.

“Why I see Mr. Zoi has decided to grace us with his presence! It’s been so long since we last saw you that I believe you were wearing a loin cloth.” The Schoolmarm frowned. “And I see you still are. It’s no longer 2500 BC, Mr. Zoi; please find more appropriate attire before you attend this afternoon’s political science class.”

Schoolmarm Thwackum turned her gaze to Nobody, who sat paring his finger nails with a knife, enveloped by a blue cloud of cigar smoke. Five seconds passed. Ten. Nobody suddenly became aware of the silence, and looked up to see the Schoomarm’s steely glare lasered upon him. He bolted out of his slump, sitting fully upright. Still the glare. Remembering the knife, he quickly closed it and put in his pocket. Still the glare. Finally, reluctantly, he removed the cigar from his plump lips and extinguished it. Schoolmarm Thwackum slowly sighed, but turned her attention to the class.

“Now students, for today’s essay I’m going to write a passage on the blackboard from a piece that recently we studied. Explain the meaning of the passage, and the more ambitious of you may want to draw some parallels to some of the events happening in Fanatannian society and politics today.”

She turned her back to her students and walked to the board. The class was pin drop silent as they stared at her – back – as she wrote on the board. Rum thing, the students always sat silent when she wrote on the board!

Tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow, creeps into this petty pace from day to day, to the last syllable of recorded time, and all our yesterdays have lighted fools the way to dusty death. Out! Out, brief candle! Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player, who struts and frets his hour upon the stage and then is heard no more. It is a tale, told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying—nothing!

 

[Provolution]

Ironically,the only way to solve the Gordion Knot is to cut it right over, let Fanatannia end up this mess with a domination victory!!!!

Provolution rides on is white horse triumphantly swinging a wieldy morning star, crushing rioting Gordians skulls with a smiling and sadistic expression.

Alexander, then reached Gordium, and was seized with an ardent desire [pothos] to ascend to the acropolis, where was the palace of Gordius and his son Midas, and to look at Gordius' wagon and the knot of the chariot's yoke. (2) There was a widespread tradition about this chariot around the countryside; Gordius, they said, was a poor man of the Phrygians of old, who tilled a scanty parcel of earth and had but two yoke of oxen: with one he ploughed, with the other he drove his wagon. (3) Once, as he was ploughing, an eagle settled on the yoke and stayed, perched there, till it was time to loose the oxen: Gordius was astonished at the portent, and went off to consult the Telmissian prophets, who were skilled in interpretation of prodigies, inheriting--women and children too--the prophetic gift. (4) Approaching a Telmissian village, he met a girl drawing water and told her the story of the eagle; she, being also of the prophetic line, bade him return to the spot and sacrifice to Zeus the King. So then Gordius begged her to come along with him and assist in the sacrifice; and at the spot duly sacrificed as she directed, married the girl, and had a son called Midas.
(5) Midas was already a grown man, handsome and noble, when the Phrygians were in trouble with civil war; they received an oracle that a chariot would bring them a king and he would stop the war. True enough, while they were discussing this, there arrived Midas, with his parents, and drove, chariot and all, into the assembly. (6) The Phrygians, interpreting the oracle, decided that he was the man whom the gods had told them would come in a chariot; they thereupon made him king, and he put an end to the civil war. The chariot of his father he set up in the acropolis as a thank-offering to Zeus the King for sending the eagle. Over and above this there was a story about the wagon, that anyone who should untie the knot of the yoke should be lord of Asia. (7) This knot was of cornel bark, and you could see neither the beginning nor end of it. Alexander, unable to find how to untie the knot, and not brooking to leave it tied, lest this might cause some disturbance in the vulgar, smote it with his sword, cut the knot, and exclaimed, "I have loosed it!"--so at least say some, but Aristobulus puts it that he took out the pole pin, a dowel driven right through the pole, holding the knot together, and so removed the yoke from the pole. (8) I do not attempt to be precise how Alexander actually dealt with this knot. Anyway, he and his suite left the wagon with the impression that the oracle about the loosed knot had been duly fulfilled. It is certain that there were that night thunderings and lightnings, which indicated this; so Alexander in thanksgiving offered sacrifice next day to whatever gods had sent the signs and certified the undoing of the knot.

 

[Chieftess]

Another anonymous letter arrives:

Sent from Persepolis:
Citizens of Gordium, there are murmurs around the city of Persepolis that symphasize with you. Most of them however, tell of a "Foreign Cultural Invasion", along with a few in Pasargadae, which is being surrounded by other Fanatannian cities. The people speak of a "city sleeze" that is creeping up on their ancient land. There are tales of conspiracy theories, that the Fanatannian Congress, the people, even wish to eradicate the Persian people. Pasargadae is the only Persian cultural stronghold left! I will travel around the cities some more and speak to the people.

-- Anonymous

The series of letters reach some disenchanted Persians, and starts to stir up a faint, but familar sense of national pride. Small "culture groups" start forming in Gordium, and parts of Persepolis, as many Persians in Gordium have family and friends there.

 

[classical_hero]

Here is an offical letter from the Office of the Minister of Culture. The letter was sent to the Daily Herald of Gordium.

It has been declared from hencforth, that the city of Gordium will no longer have a library or temple. If you must get a bok to read, just go to the nearest city for that. With a Modern Rail System, that should not be too hard for you people to do. If you must go to a place of worship, then you can use the said Rail System to get to your place of worship. Be thankful that this is all that is happening. Some people wanted to get rid of you people. They really do not care for as much as I do. This way you get to keep your city. Also be thankful that you are still in the hands of us, because some wanted to get rid of you by having you under the oppression of a foreign nation. This is the only humane thing that I could have done. Be grateful instead of complaining all the time. Things could have been alot worse, without me being in charge.

Regards, Classica Musica. Cultural Minister

 

[Donovan Zoi]

After the puzzling excerpt from the Culture Minister in the Gordium Herald, most of the citizens from the former Persian lands began to get even more riled up.

"What does he mean by 'you people?' And what does he mean by "oppression of a foreign nation" --- it was our nation and we were perfectly happy where we were!"

"Our city has been captured by these jackals, and now they pillage our riches and sneak it back to their core!"

"And we are to feel good about it!"

The protest had grown to over a quarter million strong in just a few days, and remained quite peaceful for the moment. Through communications with some of the protest leaders, Donovan Zoi had made it quite clear that it would look foolish to destroy your own city in response to a building being destroyed there.

So they stood as firm and as peaceful as a mob of people could be, but there was enough noisemaking to totally mask the approach of Fanatannian tanks on the horizon........

 

[Chieftess]

Another mysterious letter from Persepolis:
Citizens of Gordium, I will make myself known soon, but first, I want you to think of your glorious past, before our congress declared war on your people. Ask yourselves, do you really want this to happen again? Do you really want to be the Cultureless Frontier?

I will arrive in a few days...

Anonymous

The letter starts to appear in multiple papers in Farsi around the Persian communities. Several Persian citizens begin to form groups asking for their captured workers to return home to join in on protests. Some even plan to stage a sit in while the temples and libraries are burned, hoping to spark outrage.

 

[Black_Hole]

The Judge Advocate comes to Gordium to protest.
He says: "Citizens of Gordium, join me in a sit-in in the temple. If they wish to burn the temple, they must also burn me and anyone else who joins me. This is the only way."
The Judge Advocate heads to the temple and ties a rope to a pillar out front and to his leg. He also readies rotten tomatoes for the Culture Minister's next visit.

 

[zyxy]

He stared at the mesage on the screen in disbelief. A red text, and two buttons. In the background, a view of the world. His world. His creation. Inhabited by unknowing peoples: Fanatannians, Mayans, Hittites, Byzantians - not too many races left actually.
His schemes controlled their every move, although they thought they had free will. Like pieces of a clockwork. Flawless up to now. And now? A rift, a bug? Bits in rebellion?

The message.
"The program Gordium.exe has caused a culture out of range violation and must be shut down. Press 'OK' to shut down, or 'Ignore' to continue. WARNING: pressing 'Ignore' may cause the world to become unstable, and could lead to a domination error that could damage your creation beyond repair."

Choices, choices. He wavered, weighing the options. Finally, resolve. His hand went for the mouse - a click....