lordsurya08
class-A procrastinator
Well, I'm looking over the new patch notes and I realize something: no changes are really happening. Firaxis is just tweaking a few XMLs and making some minor changes. How is it possible for a developer to be so incompetent as to release a game in a sorry state as Civ 5 and then proceed to do a terrible job fixing it? I, making use of my infinite wisdom, have come up with a brilliant theory to explain this strange phenomenon.
This theory may sound outlandish, but I have come to the conclusion (and I think you might agree) that Firaxis is basically a computer program. After Soren Johnson and Co. left to work on other games, Sid Meier became very frustrated at the fact that he was spending tons of effort on the Civilization series and was not receiving much of a reward for it.
He thus used his brilliant mind to write a computer program called "Firaxis.exe" (replacing the real-life company, which no longer exists) which would create Civilization games for him. This computer program worked entirely on its own and turned out Civ games every couple of years - Civilization 5 is the first of such computer-generated games.
Of course, it is not easy to write a program that can write more programs of its own, and so Firaxis.exe has proven to be very flawed in its approach, outputting buggy programs called "Civilization 5" (which would be better rendered "Trivialization 5"). Thus, I DEMAND that Sid Meier spend some time and patch Firaxis.exe. This is my wish list for the upcoming patch.
******WISH LIST FOR FIRAXIS.EXE PATCH *** TBA: no later than April*********
TECHNOLOGIES:
- "Steam Power" is no longer a prerequisite to "Civilization 5"
- "Functional Artificial Intelligence" is now a prerequisite to "Overpriced DLC"
DIPLOMACY:
- Fix a bug in which AI appears "Friendly" to loyal Civ fans but actually acts "Hostile". AI is more likely to be "Friendly".
- AI is much less likely to sign Research Agreements with the Facebook Civilization.
- AI now makes Open SourceCode trades more frequently.
GAMEPLAY:
- Cost of purchasing "Civilization 5" in all cities decreased from 59.99
to 39.99.
- New luxury resource: "Patches", which increases the
happiness of the customers.
AI:
- AI regularly builds Scouts to visit unexplored lands which may hold much value and good ideas, such as CivFanatics.
- AI now disbands incompetent Worker units and hires competent Worker units.
- Worker units now construct Improvements such as plantations on Patch resources rather than spamming Downloadable Content.
SOCIAL POLICIES:
- AI flavor for the Piety social policy track is raised, which increases the happiness of the customer.
- AI flavor for the Tradition social policy track is raised.
- The Commerce policy track is removed, and replaced with the Integrity social policy
OTHER:
- China's Unique Ability changed from "The Art of Ripping People Off" - (price and spawn rate of DLC increased) to "The Art of Fixing a Bad Game" - (effectiveness and spawn rate of patches increased)
This theory may sound outlandish, but I have come to the conclusion (and I think you might agree) that Firaxis is basically a computer program. After Soren Johnson and Co. left to work on other games, Sid Meier became very frustrated at the fact that he was spending tons of effort on the Civilization series and was not receiving much of a reward for it.
He thus used his brilliant mind to write a computer program called "Firaxis.exe" (replacing the real-life company, which no longer exists) which would create Civilization games for him. This computer program worked entirely on its own and turned out Civ games every couple of years - Civilization 5 is the first of such computer-generated games.
Of course, it is not easy to write a program that can write more programs of its own, and so Firaxis.exe has proven to be very flawed in its approach, outputting buggy programs called "Civilization 5" (which would be better rendered "Trivialization 5"). Thus, I DEMAND that Sid Meier spend some time and patch Firaxis.exe. This is my wish list for the upcoming patch.
******WISH LIST FOR FIRAXIS.EXE PATCH *** TBA: no later than April*********
TECHNOLOGIES:
- "Steam Power" is no longer a prerequisite to "Civilization 5"
- "Functional Artificial Intelligence" is now a prerequisite to "Overpriced DLC"
DIPLOMACY:
- Fix a bug in which AI appears "Friendly" to loyal Civ fans but actually acts "Hostile". AI is more likely to be "Friendly".
- AI is much less likely to sign Research Agreements with the Facebook Civilization.
- AI now makes Open SourceCode trades more frequently.
GAMEPLAY:
- Cost of purchasing "Civilization 5" in all cities decreased from 59.99
to 39.99.- New luxury resource: "Patches", which increases the
happiness of the customers.AI:
- AI regularly builds Scouts to visit unexplored lands which may hold much value and good ideas, such as CivFanatics.
- AI now disbands incompetent Worker units and hires competent Worker units.
- Worker units now construct Improvements such as plantations on Patch resources rather than spamming Downloadable Content.
SOCIAL POLICIES:
- AI flavor for the Piety social policy track is raised, which increases the
happiness of the customer.- AI flavor for the Tradition social policy track is raised.
- The Commerce policy track is removed, and replaced with the Integrity social policy
OTHER:
- China's Unique Ability changed from "The Art of Ripping People Off" - (price and spawn rate of DLC increased) to "The Art of Fixing a Bad Game" - (effectiveness and spawn rate of patches increased)
