Talk to your doctor about Pillaging

[Brenador]

Have you been feeling down lately? Is your health bar red or yellow? Have you recently been hit by a ranged attack? Do you frequently engage in melee combat? If you answered yes to any of these questions, ask your doctor if Pillaging is right for you.

Thousands of people have been miraculously healed by Pillaging.

"My health bar was in the red, and I was surrounded by enemy gatling guns. If not for Pillaging, I wouldn't be here right now."
-- Marcus Commodus, Roman Rifleman.

"When those enemy bombers hit me, I thought I was done for. Luckily I was standing on a trading post. The pain went away as soon as I set those buildings on fire."
-- Nadir Patel, Indian Great War Infantry.

PILLAGING is the cutting-edge solution to all your medical problems. If you broke your arm, go break a farm!

FDA Warning: Do not attempt Pillaging in friendly territory. Do not drink alcohol while Pillaging. Do not drive or operate heavy machinery while Pillaging.

Pillaging is illegal in some jurisdictions. Side effects may include arrest, imprisonment, and execution. Pillaging is not recommended for units under the age of 18.

See our ad in Conquest magazine.

 

[Doktor Vic Tim]

I wonder what the Danish doctors say about pillaging...

 

[LoneRebel]

However, driving while pillaging is exactly what tank drivers do when they pillage. When that happens, I like to think of it as the tanks stripping away metal and other things from the pillaged improvement and adding it to their hulls like the magnetic leech beam from Red Alert 3 or something.

Although how organic units heal when they pillage, that's more difficult. From the looks of it, the matter looted from the pillaged improvement is somehow used to create new men, horses, elephants, etc.

 

[Redaxe]

The psychiatric association of America has disputed the recent studies into pillaging and have issued a public statement that no evidence exists that the act of pillaging may heal soldiers.

Dr Calderon of the association has called into question the validity of studies into pillaging and stated that "Such effects can be explained entirely by placebo effect and currently the association is working closely with Rousche Pharmaceuticals to develop a new class of drugs that will alleviate the compulsive behavioral disorders that soldiers use as an excuse to damage property".

Dr Calderon continues "What our studies have indicated is that soldiers feel stressed and emotionally distraught after intense battle. This behavior continues to manifest itself in destructive tendencies that result in the pillaging of public property. Early treatments for such behavior once resorted to highly effective treatments which included electro-shock therapy often combined with deep sleep therapy. Our team of psychiatrists personally oversaw the administration of ECT & deep sleep therapy to thousands of military personnel. However negative public perception and lobbying from human-rights advocates has rendered such effective treatments to be outlawed. We are very grateful that our recent attempts to lobby the Federal Government to support grants to Rousche Pharmaceuticals has been successful and we will soon see new effective drugs that effectively treat the compulsive disorder that causes Pillaging".

 

[tide1530]

With all do respect to Dr. Calderon and his associates work in the field of pillaging. There has been another study done by Dr. Mendez at the University of Belize on natural remedies to cure pillaging. Here is an excerpt of the report that you can find at www.BU/Coconut.com

I say, Doctor, ain't there nothin' I can take?
I say, Doctor, ain't there nothing I can take?
I say, Doctor, ain't there nothing I can take?
I say, Doctor

Put the lime in the coconut and drink them both together
Put the lime in the coconut, then you feel better
Put the lime in the coconut, drink 'em both up
Put the lime in the coconut, and call me in the mo-o-o-o-orning

 

[reddishrecue]

What about pillaging with a worker repair? Isn't that considered cheating and wouldn't workers be considered as doctors since they could repair pillaged improvements for more health for wounded units?

 

[Walter R]

Have you been feeling down lately? Is your health bar red or yellow? Have you recently been hit by a ranged attack? Do you frequently engage in melee combat? If you answered yes to any of these questions, ask your doctor if Pillaging is right for you.

Thousands of people have been miraculously healed by Pillaging.

"My health bar was in the red, and I was surrounded by enemy gatling guns. If not for Pillaging, I wouldn't be here right now."
-- Marcus Commodus, Roman Rifleman.

"When those enemy bombers hit me, I thought I was done for. Luckily I was standing on a trading post. The pain went away as soon as I set those buildings on fire."
-- Nadir Patel, Indian Great War Infantry.

PILLAGING is the cutting-edge solution to all your medical problems. If you broke your arm, go break a farm!

FDA Warning: Do not attempt Pillaging in friendly territory. Do not drink alcohol while Pillaging. Do not drive or operate heavy machinery while Pillaging.

Pillaging is illegal in some jurisdictions. Side effects may include arrest, imprisonment, and execution. Pillaging is not recommended for units under the age of 18.

See our ad in Conquest magazine.

 

[joncnunn]

Moderator Action: Moved to Stories & Let's Plays