onomastikon
Dual Wielding Banjos
About three times a month I see a thread here posted asking for tips in reducing loading times. For some reason, the "search" function doesn't seem to be working for these posters. So I am starting a new thread which, hopefully, will be easily found.
Here is a quick list of tips to which I hope others can add:
I. The Standard Solutions
1. Reduce map size
2. Reduce graphics settings
3. Get a better computer
II. Some Other Solutions
a. Exit to desktop and start anew. I have found that loading the game fresh and uncached is actually faster than loading from the in-game menu.
b. Time is actually a quality of the manifold of experience (Kant, and to some degree Einstein). Some people have erroneously called this "subjective", but if you find categories such as "objective" and "subjective" helpful, then by all means, this is the right metaphor for you. In any case, reducing the amount of time you experience spent loading can be done in the following ways:
i. Utilize the time by doing something worthwhile, such as urination, cooking, speaking to a human being, writing to your congressperson, or spending a brief amount of time to donate to Amnesty International, Unicef, or another organization which furthers good in the world.
ii. Attempt autofellatio.
iii. Accelerate to near light speed while keeping your computer in a separate room.
iv. Attain a positive and outreaching outlook on life, learn to live with the very small annoyances people in developed countries (most parts of North America and Europe, for instance) have often considered overly threatening ("oh no, the auxilliary jack for my lexus' mp3 player has a boo-boo!", "my latest computer game takes 22 seconds longer to load than my attention span!"), and attempt to cope with the fact that you do not need to dodge bullets and eat dirt while waiting for your mother to die of Aids.
Here is a quick list of tips to which I hope others can add:
I. The Standard Solutions
1. Reduce map size
2. Reduce graphics settings
3. Get a better computer
II. Some Other Solutions
a. Exit to desktop and start anew. I have found that loading the game fresh and uncached is actually faster than loading from the in-game menu.
b. Time is actually a quality of the manifold of experience (Kant, and to some degree Einstein). Some people have erroneously called this "subjective", but if you find categories such as "objective" and "subjective" helpful, then by all means, this is the right metaphor for you. In any case, reducing the amount of time you experience spent loading can be done in the following ways:
i. Utilize the time by doing something worthwhile, such as urination, cooking, speaking to a human being, writing to your congressperson, or spending a brief amount of time to donate to Amnesty International, Unicef, or another organization which furthers good in the world.
ii. Attempt autofellatio.
iii. Accelerate to near light speed while keeping your computer in a separate room.
iv. Attain a positive and outreaching outlook on life, learn to live with the very small annoyances people in developed countries (most parts of North America and Europe, for instance) have often considered overly threatening ("oh no, the auxilliary jack for my lexus' mp3 player has a boo-boo!", "my latest computer game takes 22 seconds longer to load than my attention span!"), and attempt to cope with the fact that you do not need to dodge bullets and eat dirt while waiting for your mother to die of Aids.
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the rest was very creative 
