25 TYLER DURDEN
(Brad Pitt/Edward Norton)
Fight Club (1999)
Living in a consumer-based culture blows, but Tyler “IKEA” Durden at least did something about it, even if organizing basement knucklefests and blowing up buildings is a tad extreme. Don’t accept the offer to hit him “as hard as you can.”
24 BLAKE
(Alec Baldwin)
Glengarry Glen Ross (1992)
The ultimate corpo hatchet man reduces hard-bitten real estate sharps to Avon ladies. After his little “pep talk,” don’t even ask for the new leads, you loser sack of bleep, ’cause you ain’t worth the used toilet paper they’re printed on.
23 ALABAMA WORLEY
(Patricia Arquette)
True Romance (1993)
’Bama’s tougher than cancer. Rather than betray her man, she laughs off a beating from a hulking hitman. Weapons of choice: corkscrew, bust of Elvis, toilet-tank cover.
22 BUFORD PUSSER
(Joe Don Baker)
Walking Tall (1973)
Screw all that “to serve and protect” horsehockey. Here’s a 2x4 for your punk arse. It’s practically a Southern birthright for a sheriff to take the complexities of jurisprudence into his own hands. That way he can do away with time-consuming police procedure and mete out justice to them what’s got it coming. Even if that means using hillbilly gangsters as speed bumps.
21 TANNER BOYLE
(Chris Barnes)
Bad News Bears (1976)
A junior high Ty Cobb, the pint-size piece of dung’s pissed off and isn’t afraid to say so: “All we got on this team are a bunch of pansies and a booger-eating morons.” Just try delivering a line like that in a kid’s flick today—we dare you.
20 FRANK
(James Caan)
Thief (1981)
Frank’s a lone wolf jewel thief raised “by the state,” so you’d think people would know better than to mess with his “last heist.” Now he’s got to blow up his house and kill a local Mob boss. Revenge never tasted so…much like kerosene.
19 DETECTIVE JIMMY “POPEYE” DOYLE
(Gene Hackman)
The French Connection (1971)
The craziest detective on the narco squad bezatch-slaps perps for “picking their feet in Poughkeepsie,” meets women by threatening to arrest them, and ignores all driving rules when chasing crooks.
18 CHRISTINE
(1958 Plymouth Fury)
Christine (1983)
Everyone remembers his first car: the worn seats, the tricky gearshift, the way she would kill for you. Well, you might remember that if it was a certain ’58 Plymouth Fury. Cherry red with a killer sound system, this road bezzzsuch takes down anyone who screws with her owner.
17 QUINT
(Robert Shaw)
Jaws (1975)
Any guy who can write “shark hunter” on the occupation line of his 1040 deserves respect, ’cause if a great white were gnawing on swimmers, the last place we’d be is in the water on a tiny wooden boat. (We’d be onshore, with an AK-47.)
16 PROXIMO
(Oliver Reed)
Gladiator (2000)
These days ambitious guys scratch their way out of the mailroom. Proximo mauled a few lions and sold out the Coliseum on his way to receiving the “I cheated death” wooden sword.
15 SNAKE PLISSKEN
(Kurt Russell)
Escape From New York (1981)
When a bloodthirsty crowd of all-star criminals cheers your mano a mano pummeling of a sadistic mountain man named Slag in the center ring of Madison Square Garden, you know you’ve arrived. You can’t beat a guy even Lee Van Cleef doesn’t feel comfortable talking to without a loaded pistol handy. All this with an explosive implanted in his brain that detonates if his mission fails.
14 WOLVERINE/LOGAN
(Hugh Jackman)
X-Men (2000)
Half man, half Ginsu knife, Wolverine prowls through life jumpier than a convict on his first night in prison. Who wouldn’t be upset if they kept getting attacked by some “Sabertooth” who looks like a roadie for Whitesnake?
13 JULES WINNFIELD
(Samuel L. Jackson)
Pulp Fiction (1994)
Why is this semicontrolled mountain of Jheri-Curled intimidation on the list? He’s a philosophical hitman who carries a wallet that says BAD Mofo. End of story.
12 MARION RAVENWOOD
(Karen Allen)
Raiders of the Lost Ark (1981)
It’s not just that this sarcastic expat owns her own bar—it’s that she outdrinks Nepalese goons twice her size and isn’t afraid to cold-cock the smug out of Indy. Also good at manhandling Nazis.
11 DOC HOLLIDAY
(Val Kilmer)
Tombstone (1993)
Piss-drunk and half-dead, Doc’s still the fastest shooter in the West. Doesn’t let pesky tuberculosis and half a lung stop him from smoking, gambling, and whoring. The ultimate wingman, Doc rises from his deathbed to help pal Wyatt Earp successfully rid Tombstone of vicious outlaws. Gosh darn, though, you shoulda seen him in his prime.
10 JOHN SHAFT
(Richard Roundtree)
Shaft (1971)
“The cat that won’t cop out” is so bad he can answer the question “Where the hell are you going?” with “To get laid” and not only have it not sound stupid but also have it be 100 percent true.
9 PAUL KERSEY
(Charles Bronson)
Death Wish (1974)
With a face that could double as a mule’s butt crack, Kersey gets kinda pissed after his wife is murdered, his daughter is raped, and the criminal scum walk. He takes to roaming the streets and redecorating subway cars with punks’ blood.
8 OFFICER WENDELL “BUD” WHITE
(Russell Crowe)
L.A. Confidential (1997)
In the pre-Miranda world of trouble-free justice, a punch-happy cop with personal issues could pound crooks, dangle politicians out of windows, and frame suspected rapists. Not the guy to spill beer on at a hockey game.
7 “MAD” MAX ROCKATANSKY
(Mel Gibson)
Mad Max 2: The Road Warrior (1981)
Post-nuke Australia might be filled with criminal spawn, but this cop turned pitiless loner (nuclear fallout and a murdered family will do that) never says “G’day” in his endless quest for petrol.
6 COOL HAND LUKE
(Paul Newman)
Cool Hand Luke (1967)
Nonconformist. Fights authority. Stands up to the resident bully. No, not you in first grade—we’re talking about the toughest inmate since Alcatraz shut down. Achieves respect among fellow cons with his ability to down 50 hardboiled eggs.
5 INSPECTOR HARRY CALLAHAN
(Clint Eastwood)
Dirty Harry (1971)
Think another Clint character is more bad than Dirty Harry? Well, do ya, punk? He and his .44 Magnum have a simple policy: “When an adult male is chasing a female with intent to commit rape, I shoot the bastage.” Hear, hear.
4 WILLIAM CUTTING, A.K.A “BILL THE BUTCHER”
(Daniel Day-Lewis)
Gangs of New York (2002)
The movie went limp, but Bill stomped onscreen like a drunken stepfather. When not engaged in the art of butchery, this pit bull’s brawling in the streets and acting as a one-man border patrol.
AND lookee here....
!!!
3 LEE
(Bruce Lee)
Enter the Dragon (1973)
Annihilating the world’s toughest martial artists is impressive, especially when you’re built like a mid-tour Iggy Pop. “You have offended my family and you have offended the Shaolin Temple.” Bad move, numb-nuts.
2 SARAH CONNOR
(Linda Hamilton)
Terminator 2: Judgment Day (1991)
Sarah Conner ain’t no soccer mom. Did our mothers school us in hand-to-hand combat and munitions? No, we had to take freakin' piano lessons. Thanks a lot, Ma, ya screamin’ wussy!
1 TONY MONTANA
(Al Pacino)
Scarface (1983)
Power mad? Pathological? Sadistic? Morally, um, flexible? This cock-a-roach of a Cuban immigrant shoots (and shoots, and shoots, and shoots, and shoots) way beyond standard bad qualifications with a résumé that’s completely untouchable: He murders his way to a green card, survives a chain saw attack, whacks his boss so he can jack the guy’s old lady, kills his best friend, and has his exploits displayed over and over on plasma TVs in the posh homes of every single rapper on the face of the Earth. You never, and we mean never, want to say hello to his “li’l friend.”
Must be how you got named Grasshoppah.
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