The undocumented costs of global warming

[handyandy]

Rising sea levels caused by melting polar ice caps will cost the sea-faring industry billions of pounds in replacement boats, a leading sea man has warned.

Rear admiral Freddie Uck-Witt, a boater in the British navy, has warned that as sea levels rise existing ships will be unable to cope with the increase in water in the sea: 'If you take my ship - the Good Queen Esmeralda - as an example, there is currently a gap of one metre between sea level and the deck. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to tell you that if the sea rises by a metre the water will be above deck level and the boat will sink.'

Rocket scientist Hugo Canape concurred: 'Although it probably doesn't take a man of my professional expertise to tell you, more water means you will need bigger boats to cope with the increase in sea-a-tivity. If I were a boater, I'd be horsehockyting myself right now.'

However a spokesman for the American Government said that there was no direct link between pollution, global warming, melting icecaps, rising sea levels and the imminent uselessness of all boats: 'If the sea levels are rising it is clearly as a result of God's will rather than anything man, and in particular American man, is doing. I mean think about it: if God can cause a plague of locusts, flood the Earth to rid it of sinful men and have a nine inch knob, this is probably his way of telling us that boaters are all homosexuals who should die.'

A spokesperson for P&O, who was a man, said that the sea-ers are in the process of replacing their entire sailing stock at a cost of £5.2bn.

I feel this is a problem which is ignored far to often.
link http://www.orangeafro.com/article.php?id=395

 

[Ambidexter]

Why is this in Humor & Jokes? I thought that funny stuff was supposed to be in H&J, and this isn't funny.

 

[handyandy]

well im sorry, but i found it funny. You do relies that it's all rubbish?

 

[Catharsis]

Hehe, I get it.

 

[Ambidexter]

I understand it's supposed to be funny. I also realize that it isn't.

 

[Catharsis]

Rear admiral Freddie Uck-Witt, a boater in the British navy, has warned that as sea levels rise existing ships will be unable to cope with the increase in water in the sea: 'If you take my ship - the Good Queen Esmeralda - as an example, there is currently a gap of one metre between sea level and the deck. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to tell you that if the sea rises by a metre the water will be above deck level and the boat will sink.'

This is the bit I found funny. That isn't funny to you?

 

[Paradigne]

I thought it was funny. No funny bone Ambi?

 

[GeorgeOP]

Rising sea levels caused by melting polar ice caps

I found this part really funny. But I guess that other quote is good for a chuckle or two.

 

[Love]

Hehe, I get it.

I don't get it, but that's only to do the opposite of what cathy do...

 

[Swedishguy]

However a spokesman for the American Government said that there was no direct link between pollution, global warming, melting icecaps, rising sea

levels and the imminent uselessness of all boats: 'If the sea levels are rising it is clearly as a result of God's will rather than anything man, and in particular American man, is doing. I mean think about it: if God can cause a plague of locusts, flood the Earth to rid it of sinful men and have a nine inch knob, this is probably his way of telling us that boaters are all homosexuals who should die.'

Hehehe. Christians calling boaters homosexuals that should die are always amusing.