I think that the ai's attitude toward you is based on whether they are competing with you to win or they are clearly inferior to you or they are clearly superior to you.
Depending on whether you pay tribute or not will influence their attitude but this is irrelevant. The civ wants to win and figures out how to do so by taking all your land or giving bad trade deals.
Well, what would be the difference anyway?? If you were gracious they would say "please give me your shirt", and declare war if you refused. If you were furious, they would say "Give me your shirt or I'll turn you into pieces!", and declare war equally.
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