Things I learned about the science of warfare through Civilization IV

[toll_booth]

-All cities are enveloped by an invisible force field that keeps siege units and helicopters from physically entering them. This force field cannot repel their shrapnel and ammunition, however.
-If someone who intends to create a new city is captured by the enemy, he will be reduced to a mere a field worker.
-Helicopters cannot fly over water, even small lakes. Armies are too worried that the rotor wash will get the water sucked up into the engines.
-Nuke shelters are ineffective against ordinary bombs, and bomb shelters are ineffective against nukes. Nuke shelters require a thin but strong anti-nuke layer, something that a conventional bomb can easily destroy. And nukes can simply obliterate most bomb shelters.
-Unless you buy meat from a supermarket, grains are better for you. But this does not hold if your city does not have a granary. Even in ancient times, the walls of granaries were coated with bacteria-inhibiting substances.

 

[CHEESE!]

-Machine guns are far, far more heavy than rocket launchers. Whereas you can just hold a rocket launcher on your shoulder, a machine gun requires you to sit down and cast a tripod before you can fire.

 

[NoPeace]

You can build the Apollo Program without electricity.

 

[toll_booth]

You can build the Apollo Program without electricity.

And the rockets are built out of aluminum. Or failing that, you could chop nearby forests and build the rockets out of wood.

 

[CHEESE!]

One single guy can create an entire Pyramid in one day.

 

[Gothic_Empire]

# n + 1

The Great Wall of Portugal (which cannot, despite popular opinion, be seen from space; test this with your mouse wheels) was assembled brick by brick in a single city, and then each brick was fired into place with a giant slingslot.

The workers behind this defensive masterpiece were so proficient that they spent the majority of their time on a schematic for cloaking devices -- which, until recently, we thought required a deep understanding of the alphabet.

This wall is directly in tune with the cultural ebb and flow of the Portuguese people. When the wall sense Portuguese customs, it radiates deadly gamma-bogey-men to scare away anyone carrying a black flag. This is a modification of the technology that forces animals away from the borders of other countries.

(Mommy, can we get a puppy?)
(No, honey. Animals can't step across the border.)
(Then what about the horsies!?)
(They're not a unit, honey. If you want a pet, you can have an elephant.)
(But mooom--! You said I had to clean up after it!)

# n + 1

Despite popular belief, no mechanism exists for horses to become helicopters. Instead, the horses are taught to fly helicopters, so that the pilots may retire in peace.

 

[Thormodr]

If you want more realism in warfare, play Hearts of Iron 3. That is one fantastic war game. However, Civ beats it in other areas.

No game is perfect but I'd like to think that the Civ series is slowly getting better and better over time. Now if only we could combine Civ 4, Hearts of Iron 3, Victoria and EU3, taking the best parts of each and combining them into one awesome game. ^^

 

[uat2d]

Or we could all go back to Civ3...

 

[NoPeace]

Wonders are never destroyed unless the city itself gets pillaged.

 

[Stoshu]

All battles are based on a percentage from 0 to 99.9 >_<

 

[Spikerocks101]

I say, combine HOI3 style map with everything else CIV4 (techs and stuff). and the AI for hearts of iron too (becuase i find its almost better then micro managing your troops). -neutrality (which is retarted)

 

[CivIVMonger]

Every citizen, male or female, free or slave, scientist or worker, is rationed to two slices of bread each day! XD

 

[rabidveggie]

The size of a nations military has no effect on a counties population. An army also does not need to eat either so long as you can afford to pay them and they are able to sack things like farms and mines to help mitigate the cost. A special mention should go to drafting and slavery as in those cases its necessary for civilians to actually enlist to make up the numbers needed to fill a division.

Wars also lasted thousands of years and as an army marched it was required for their families to travel with them in order to replace the previous soldiers once they died of old age.

Finally, the best way to win a war is to take all your soldiers and shove as many of them as you can along a small portion of the front line. Critics of this style of warfare often point out that such a strategy allows for the enemy to easily cut off something called a "supply line" which supposedly is how armies receive unnecessary food and ammunition. These same fools are the ones always asking why the army can't use enemy roads to advance on the enemies territory faster.

 

[NoPeace]

In Civ IV, you can get wooden bats for your warriors even when there are no forests or jungles nearby.

 

[civverguy]

All defensive units have a code of honor which tells them to not retreat.

 

[CivIVMonger]

Your early civilization can instantly contact thier rivals in a digital screen. Remind me why they utilized the pony express?...

 

[toll_booth]

- Granaries can store ANY kind of food, not just grains (but granaries are the healthiest way of storing them). Since granaries are actually underground, they are generally cooler and drier than they would be at ground level.
- This practice did not lead to the invention of the refrigerator, because for millennia, people in warm climates assumed this was as cold as storage temperatures could get.
- The biggest danger to granaries is not fire, most disease, or floods, but rats. Grain doesn't burn, and rats carry the only bacteria that can jeopardize food supplies.
- If rats get into a granary, you'll have to completely dump it out. However, you don't need to clean it or get the FDA or OSHA involved. Just start filling it with new food and hope the rats don't return.
- Typically, rats DON'T return to granaries that they've infested. Part of that dump-and-refill strategy involves placing rat traps all around the granary.

- Drinking in moderation is indeed good for you, but only if the drink is wine, and only if the wine was purchased from your local grocer. There is no such thing as beer; that is a Hollywood myth.

 

[yturk39]

Slightly off-topic, but what the Hell...

-- Ghandi will only talk to you while he's standing in front of the Taj Mahal. It doesn't matter if the wonder hasn't been built, was built by a different Civ, or if it's even being controlled by Ghandi's worst enemy: he won't so much as say 'hello' to you unless he's standing in front of the Taj Mahal.

-- (Same goes for numerous other leaders, and their wonder backdrops...)

 

[CivIVMonger]

Somehow Abe Lincoln and Goerge Washington somehow managed to slip into a Tux right at day one of leading an early civilization that dosen't know yet how to weave...

 

[Swein Forkbeard]

Nobody should give up on cavalry. Because they are fast, they can rely on airplanes to batter up the defenses and then they can just sweep in and kill the injured defenders before they could even think about it.