Three Wishes

[Takhisis]

´nother stuff that came up in English classes...

THREE WISHES AND A WINDSURF BOARD​

A Frenchman, an Italian and an Englishman wanted to be the first people to windsurf across the Pacific. They set off one morning in July. When they had travelled for a month the weather suddenly changed dramatically.
It became very windy and the waves were enormous. Unfortunately one of the waves broke their windsurf boards in two.
Luckily the three men managed to swim to a small island. They had been on the island for several weeks when one morning the Italian came back with a bottle he had found on the beach while he was jogging.
When they opened it there was abig flash and a genie appeared. "Thank you" Thank you" said the genie. "I am free thanks to you" He told the three men that he had been a prisoner in the bottle for fifty years. "To show how grateful I am you can each haev one wish-anything you want". Then he disappeared.
Inmediately the italian shouted: "This is my wish! I´d love to be in Rome eating a big plate of my mother´s spaghetti!" At once there was a big flash and a cloud of smoke and when it cleared the other two saw that the Italian had disappeared.
Next, the Frenchman said, "Genie, please take me tp my favourite restaurant with my wife near the Eiffel Tower." Inmediately there was a flash and he too disappeared. The Englishman, who wasn´t very intelligent, sat down on a rock. He was feeling a bit unhappy and lonely now that both his friends had gone. He thought for a moment then he made his wish. "Genie! Please... bring my friends back!
There was a big flash...

P.S. Sorry for the long post.

 

[LLXerxes]

You shouldn't be sorry about the long post You should, however apologize because that joke has been posted and mutilated a number of times.

 

[The Person]

You shouldn't be sorry about the long post You should, however apologize because that joke has been posted and mutilated a number of times.

Sooo true... First time I heard a version of that joke was last millenium.

 

[Takhisis]

oh well, just thought that, not knowing if it had already been posted or not, I wouldn´t doa ny harm by posting it.

 

[Gainy]

Well I had never seen this joke before, and it made me laugh a lot more than most of the crap that is posted here (albeit that isn't very much)

If you have heard it before, good for you. But unless it has been very recently posted, then it's just a waste of everyone's time reading your reply - so don't bother.

Stop being such nitpicky biatches

 

[MattII]

Seen it before as an Englishman, a Scotsman, and an Irishman, respectively.

 

[Takhisis]

Seen it before as an Englishman, a Scotsman, and an Irishman, respectively.

Of course, the nationalities can be swapped for anyone.
who was the wrong-wishing idiot in your version?

 

[MattII]

The wrong wishing idiot was the Irishman.

 

[Takhisis]

Then I´m lucky not to have Irish family!

 

[Maniacal]

I heard that exact joke only a couple of weeks ago on here, still funny though.

 

[UnitQ]

Hay Takhisis did you get that joke from the Three girls version. you know the domb blond one were there were a blond, bernet and a red head. The French was the red the italian was the bernet and the english one was the blond.

 

[Takhisis]

Nope, as I said, I got it from English classes.

 

[plarq]

The trick is that we have a following story like this:

You can imagine how the Brit was beaten at that night.
The next day,the Frenchman found another bottle contains a fairy, she said she had limited power and can only grant one wish for three of them. Since the Frenchman and the Italian had the same intelligence, and it's a bit too cruel to leave the other alone, they came to a conclusion that it's only fair to let the Brit did that wish again. They told the Brit, "Don't make foolish wishes again!"

The Brit, who was puzzled by the wise word of the Frenchy and Italian, came to the fairy's bottle, and asked her, "Could you send a message to my sweet home in Coventry, to my wife, tell her I love her, and all my property will be inherited by her? Tell her that my friends and I are trapped in a tropical island forever!"

 

[Takhisis]

So then, I´ve got another fairy tale business:

Once upon a time, a woman picked up a bottle, cleansed it, and out came a genie. He said: "I will grant you three wishes, but whatever I give you, I´ll give your husband ten times whatever I give you."
The woman thought for a while and then said,
"Fine, I want to be the richest woman in the world,"
"That´s one wish gone" said the genie happily.
"I want to be very powerful, to have a Bentley, and my own jet"
"Only one wish left" said the genie, glad to be free after all that time
"And last, I want to have an almost fatal heart attack."

D´ya like it?

 

[Perfection]

I've heard better variations of the joke.

 

[plarq]

Well, I have a fatal heart attack while reading that post.

 

[Takhisis]

Does that mean you liked it or not?

 

[The Person]

I would certainly not like to be that woman's husband!

 

[plarq]

Does that mean you liked it or not?

That kind of women are around all day.

 

[Takhisis]

Neither would I, viking
Does anybody know where to get pics of KimPossible?