What am I doing wrong?

I suspect the AI have 2 separate cities doing that. One city with huge big food surplus just cranking out settlers and another build nothing but spearmen for escort. I've seen a few times a spearman walked to a border square and fortify to wait for a settler. When the settler comes along, he unfortifies and escorted the settler to a city spot.

I personally let the governor manage mood with emphasis on production and automate all my workers. I still dictate what to produce in every city though. I don't know which patch you are playing, but as of PTW 1.14f the settlers will only mine grassland when automated while you are still in despotism. But like everybody has already pointed out, if you want to automate worker AND don't want them to change some of the existing improvement, use shift-A.

As for the AI ganging up on you, it is due to you don't have enough military. From my experience, in regent level, have each city with 2 defenders and some 10 horse units roaming around in your territory usually will deter most nations from attacking you on a whim. Perhaps you might want to try to switch to more militarily aggressive stance in your play next time. Bully the AI instead of being bullied.
 
hahahaha every time I come here to CFC and I see the subject line "what am I doing wrong" I'm so tempted to post a reply
"you are turning on your computer"

hahaha
;)
 
Just one small advice: take alook at the Succession Games and there especially at those labelled RBE or with the word Deity in them. Read through them and try to understand why and what the people are doing and believe me you game-skills will improve soon.

Good Luck

Rowain
 
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