random quotes

[Catharsis]

Random Persian: Meow!
Swede: *says nothing, for it is a root vegetable*

 

[SuperBeaverInc.]

Brent: Dad look, you're gonna be around for a long time.
Oscar: How can you be so sure?
Brent: Because, I've angered the Karma Gods, and you're my punishment.

Corner Gas​

 

[Swedishguy]

"Women exist to watch the kids and look nice."
-Random Persian commenting Women

 

[SuperBeaverInc.]

Karen: I got a riddle for you, Hank. Okay. A plane crashes on the border of Alberta and Saskatchewan. Where do they bury the survivors?
Hank: Hmmm. Tough one. Right on the border, huh? Well, is there one larger chunk of the airplane on one side?
Karen: No. It's broken directly in half, distributed over the two sides.
Hank: Wow, that's really tough.
Karen: A plane crashes directly on the border of Alberta and Saskatchewan. Where do they bury the SURVIVORS?
Hank: OHHHHH! The *survivors*.
[pause]
Hank: Bury one on each side.

Corner Gas​

 

[Lord_Iggy]

Bury them in Lloydminster maybe?

-Iggy

 

[SuperBeaverInc.]

"My goal in life is to become an eccentric billionaire. The way I figure it, I've already got the eccentric part, so I'm already half way there."

Me

 

[PrinceOfLeigh]

Roger 'Verbal' Kent: Who is Keyser Soze?

He is supposed to be Turkish. Some say his father was German. Nobody believed he was real. Nobody ever saw him or knew anybody that ever worked directly for him, but to hear Kobayashi tell it, anybody could have worked for Soze. You never knew. That was his power.

The greatest trick the Devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn't exist.

And poof. Just like that, he's gone.

 

[Swedishguy]

"That guy is greedy. He must be a jew."
-Random Persian

 

[Steph]

"That guy likes to mock Persians. He must be Swedish"
- Random Steph

Spoiler :

He's a Swedish Guy

 

[PrinceOfLeigh]

Swedishguy, you make my hair go gray.

...................................

 

[Catharsis]

If the Persians are truly random, then it must be hard to take the register.

-Me

 

[Swedishguy]

"The Swedes are coming!"
-Abraham Simpson

 

[SuperBeaverInc.]

"Paranoia: Practical thinking when everyone is out to get you." - seen on a T-Shirt

 

[Whomp]

Two of my favorite The Onion t shirts

I play in a promising local band

and

Stereotypes are a real time-saver

 

[thetrooper]

...I only know english. I'm fine with that. -Xanikk

I've never left my land. but that's not so odd. There are too many foreigners if you go abroad. -Cat Rapes Dog in the song Godfearing Man


Now, the latter is irony. I hope that the former falls under that category too...

 

[Sophie 378]

New post for compiling CFC quotes! Apparently the linking quote icons count as images, so I'm limited to 15 or whatever. I'll keep compiling here until I hit the limit again.
Previous posts: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, this one

I suppose in the end this isn't really all THAT bad. But I love CivFanatics...I don't like the new name. It'll take a long time to get used to. CivJunction...WTH...is it a railroad station?

That's what you get for saying "I believe" instead of "if I remember correctly" . . .

At any rate, I find the idea that God created heavy elements by blowing up stars much cooler than simply waving his hand and making it so. Plus it fits better with actual observations.

General rule of thumb: The cooler a phenomenon is in science, the more likely that it is true.

It's a basic tenet of existence: other people are wrong.

This is the rule that makes the world go round. Without it almost all the world's population would commit suicide in an orgy of self-doubt and shattered pride.

To make this happen is my dream.

What if God doesn't have emotions ?

And even worse, what if he doesn't use emoticons ?

How do the French do it? We Germans have to start a war or threaten to kill a baby bear to make it into international headlines.

Probably because America and France are like two little kids in love. America dips Frances pigtails into inkwells, and France raises her hand and tells the teacher that America is cheating.

At least these youths are roiting over "social and economic tensions" ours fight over a bottle of cheap cider and coz uz luked @ mi gurl innit.

Being of the goth/metal persuasion dressing up for me means wearing bondage trousers and lots of spikes.

For what it's worth, aneeshm, I fully support your right to torch the Bible and the Quran.

Perfection's physics teacher after the pledge: "Do they have anything like that in germany"
German foreign exchange student: "not since 1945"

I pledge allegiance to the banner of the United States of America, which is under Dog, with tacos and pizza for all.

I bag groceries, clean up messes, put unwanted items back, put back all the little easter eggs customers leave in the store by putting things where they don't belong, and shepherd a flock of shopping carts.

because when they get here it makes it impossible to communicate and inconviniences everyone around them. I don't like it when people come to benefit from my awesome taliban destroying country and then act like I'm ******** when I can't understand what the hell theyre talking about.

The government will do what it always does regardless of whoever's butt is warming the big chair.

Voting is like playing Russian Roulette with a semi-automatic. Every choice is bad.

The only difference is that if you don't play Russian Roulette, you can't get shot, while if you don't vote, you can still be taxed and regulated into virtual serfdom.

I mentioned Oceania because I didn't feel like typing out Australia and New Zealand and now you went and made me do it.

Not internet lingo. We were saying dur three decades ago in grade school. So that, old man!

Unless the UK gets full control of the Tridents from the US, it shouldn't renew them. As you said, it really has no need for new nuclear weapons. The only time might be in an Anglo-American War, but even then it's only a matter of time (more like a few minutes) before your fair island keeps the French awake at night with a pale green glow. I guess you could take Boston with you, but AFAIC, you can have it.

Why can't I vote for every option?

Good question, I think we all know the answer to that one, and it's witty humerous and oh just so funny even after the four hundredth million time. Oh Every time I see it I just can't stop laughing, it's the bon mot, the absolute humorous eloquence for people who dictate the humour for a new generation: kinda like Pepsi, but funnier. I just fear my sides have split again and need an operation to have them sewn up. Get a new joke, no ones laughing any more.

Oh no sorry you were serious, because some people are less annoying than others. We grow up at some point, we stop being annoying. Well some of us do

<snip>
1. Most cat owners now owning multiple cats?
2. Many people were buying the multiple cats formula thinking, "Well if this works for several cats then it should be 3-4 times as good as for one cat".
3. The 'premium' is still around because there is still some suckers who think the 'premium' in the title is worth the money.
4. The companies that make the cat litter thought that people who bought the 'long lasting' ones were buying it less often because 'it lasted longer', so they wouldn't have to change the litter as often, thus the companies sold less cat litter.

I'm leaning towards #3 and #4.

I personally blame Bush, Islam and girls in equal measure.

You're only partially right - this is all the fault of the female gay Muslim Chinese Democrats who don't like Chuck Norris!

The long lasting is so long lasting that you only need to buy it once and every cat owner has already done that.

I've noticed the same thing.

I used to have two cats, and now in the last year I've adopted three. I couldn't speak to the "quality" of the litter (it does its job, except one of my cats doesn't cover up his atrocities) but I'm inclined to think it is mostly differences in marketing.

People are buying more cats because the Clintons had a cat in the White House.

You can never have too many cats. Unless you have so many cats that you can't physically move for cats, and whenever you breathe you swallow a cat, and you sleep on a bed made of cats, except you can't because all the space is being taken up by cats, and your fridge is full of cats who have eaten all the food, and there are cats being forced out of your chimney: then, you probably have too many cats.

(Catzrul.)

Cats suck and people who own cats should be exterminated then we work on the cats themselves.

Bring it on, biotch!!

Banning [Fifty and Perfection] is like a rite of passage for a mod. -Padma

Fifty, you have to be the funniest and coolest poster on this forum. -Xanikk999

I personally think [fifty's] a spoilt arrogant little brat -Sidhe

Can you post some more stuff, youre the best straight man Ive had in ages. -bozo on Fifty

Maybe I'll hunt those down someday and link them in ...

What's the point of an antarctic urinal, anyway?

So your little soldier doesn't incur frostbite out in the cold.

---------------------

If the proper method is to flush before you start, why do the automatic flushers wait until you finish?

Right. I prefer the Ziggy method:

I thought the proper method is peeing to the side (but not over it obviously) so that it won't splatter.

The method fail for obvious reasons when your drunk

I find that a near-parallel-to-the-surface angle of incidence results in low to zero splashing. Plus, most urinals around here have that wall on the side so even if there is a little splashing it doesn't cause trouble.

I feel a little like Heimlich ... the Ziggy maneuver

 

[Kan' Sharuminar]

"It's true. Hitler was a vegetarian. Just goes to show, vegetarianism, not always a good thing. Can in some extreme cases lead to genocide."
~Bill Bailey

 

[Babbler]

Cool CFC quote:

Increased energy bills : between 275 and 550 million rupees
foreign investments lost because of unstable reputation : millions of rupees
Money lost in missed deadlines and meetings because your timezone has changed 5 times in the past 15 years : another bunch of rupees

Having your country spiritual plane back where it should be : priceless

There are things science can help you with. For everything else, there's fanaticism.

 

[Catharsis]

A quote from Forum Games:

That is rather disturbing. We here in the capital rarely hear of such atrocities. Cases such as that are most likely handled by the local government. Though we believed that it is not the norm for that to happen, except in Sparta. ("Madness? This is Sparta", sorry had to throw that quote in there.)

(Ugh. That movie was so awful...)

(You my friend are not a true American male)

 

[Swedishguy]

"Go to every station, wreck the DJ! Go to every station, wreck the DJ!"