random quotes

[Kan' Sharuminar]

Some military quotes:

"Going to war without France is like going deer hunting without your accordian"
~Norman Schwartzkopf

"In three weeks England shall have her neck wrung like a chicken"
~Marshal Petain, prompting Churchill's later remark 'Some chicken, some neck!'

"I thought he was talking about our mess bill"
~Anonymous RAF pilot upon hearing Churchill's speech containing the line 'Never in the field of human conflict has so much been owed by so many to so few'

 

[Swedishguy]

Some other military quotes:

"Power is not given. It must be taken with brute force, and held with tooth or nail. Or even with claw, if necessary."

"There is a difference between tactics and strategy. Do you know that difference?"

 

[Thorvald of Lym]

"The year is 1984. And that raises some questions. Was Orwell right when he wrote his classic novel? Are our lives and minds controlled by the state? The answer is no; we are still able to make our own decisions. We should be proud to live in a democracy, a free country like Canada."
*four-note sound*
"This message brought to you by the CBC, your government information centre."

Skit by The Frantics
​

 

[Catharsis]

Ultima Dragoon: why do your quotes link to Civ-related threads from 2002?

 

[SG-17]

the enemy of my enemy is my friend

And those who are prideful and refuse to bow down shall be laid low and made onto dust.

If you know my name, you know enough to fear me.

More of a slightly less dark side.

The shield is always cheaper than the spear. You must consider the value of that which is shielded.

Peace through Superior Firepower.

You are the fifth race, your role is clear, if there is any hope in preserving the future it lies with you and your people.

 

[Ansar]

Piss in this cup let's check your stream.

Funny, IMHO.

 

[Swedishguy]

"I will show you the wrath of a woman scorned!"

 

[thetrooper]

"Hell hath no fury like a fat man deprived of his lunch". -thetrooper

 

[Sophie 378]

I'm I was adding more quotes to this post all the time. Keep checking back until we get onto the next page - I don't want to spam the thread by making one post per quote when I'm collecting so many.
More posts: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, this one, 10

I saw on Alias once that this guy killed this other guy by lethal injection and than a few hours later the dead guy was injected something and came back to life. How do they work? are they real?

The dilithium crystals interact with the naquadah in your blood stream temporarily deactivating your midichlorians giving you the appearance of death, however once flux capacitance is reached they valmorphanize back to thier original form and you regain conciousness/pulse etc.

Are you sure?

Probably the same thing they used in Romeo & Juliet

Based on current events what do you think would happen if these 2 countries ALONE went to war over the current navy hostage crisis ? Obviously the UK have the more advanced force, however Iran would be fighting in their own backyard.. comments anyone?

<snip>
I don't think either would culture-flip, and diplomacy doesn't seem to be going very well ... so I'd build a flotilla of Locusts of Chiron and send them to invade.

That is why we don't want Iran getting planet busters.

Am I crazy that I find this argument far more convincing than all the real-world ones?

On release of the folding client for the PS3, which has just quadrupled the processing power available for folding:

Wife: What is that?
Husband: A playstation.
Wife: And what is that beside it?
Husband: Another playstation.
Wife: Why do you need more game machines? You already play too much CIV IV!
Husband: Oh, I'm not playing, dear ... I'm curing cancer.

I'm an IT babysitter. I sit and watch the pretty lights blink all night.

Because I am an ignorant American, and I lumped Pakistan and Bangladesh under "countries that are over next to India," whereas I knew that India and Haiti were not geographically or ethnically close.

I encounter that a lot, but to be honest I guess being French plays a large role, as I think a lot of people are thinking "well he's just French, he says weird things". That is, people assume that when I say something that is not 100&#37; explicit, it's because I'm French and do not master the English language, not because I'm funny.
One of these moments happened while I was watching a friend packing stuff in a box. There was so much stuff to pack that there was pretty much only one way everything could fit in the box, so my friend was taking pieces in and out, turning them around, putting them back in in different permutations, etc. So I told him:
"How's your Tetris going?"
to which he replied:
"No, I'm just packing stuff in a box".

defected crisps --> traitors!


Incidentally, people: once upon a time, in a better age, there was a rule that the associations were supposed to be non-poster-specific.

Diplomacy -> DemoGame

(and Sophie: who cares? I mean, come on, what's Lefty going to do, eh? I bet heAARGH *Catharsis disappears through a hole in the ground*)

Actually what happens in real life, and that explains why this country was never invaded, is:

"Let's invade Lichtinis... Litchichti... Lichtieneisti... Screw that let's invade Poland."

I like boring people. They don't leap out of the shadows and try to chew off your leg.

To each his own, I suppose. Personally, I'd rather have my leg chewed off than talk about the damn weather.

I think it's always nice to have some of both sides around you.

So, someone talking about the weather in one ear and someone else cutting off your other with a razor is ideal by you?

Sounds like the statistician's paradise: if your left foot is in boiling water and your right foot is in ice, on average you're just fine!

(You don't have to use that one. )

EDIT: AAARGH! I DID IT AGAIN! BLIDDY EDIT AND QUOTE BUTTONS BEING NEXT TO EACH OTHER DIE EVERYONE I HATE YOU ALL YOU WILL ALL DIE AT MY HAND EVEN IF I HAVE TO COOK YOU AND MAKE YOU INTO SANDWICHES YES EVEN YOU GRILLICK

How do you recognise posters?

I just use my secret network of webcams. Don't pick your nose like that, Sophie.

How should she be picking her nose?

From a registered nose-trader.

Deeder and counter clock wise.

What, you mean that answering 60 questions in an online quiz doesn't make me a towering genius?

Damn, what will it take...

It requires invitation by the Council of Towering Genii. I'll nominate you for membership at the next conclave.

Top five countries with most pet fish
5. Italy-- 30,000,000
4. Japan-- 34,100,100
3. Germany -- 50,000,000
2. China -- 121,852,000
1. USA -- 168,990,000

Really? Wow, I have two.

I have about fifty thousand, which is why I have to keep them in the Atlantic Ocean.

/lameStevenWrightjoke

There's only 50,000 fish in the Atlantic?

That's why I don't go into the ocean: Fish f*** in it.

No, there's only 50,000 of my fish in the Atlantic. I don't know who the rest of them belong to.

 

[SuperBeaverInc.]

Nice one Sophie

 

[Whomp]

Very funny Sophie. I like reading funny stuff from our posters.

To keep this legal. The story of my divorce.

Got to find a reason a reason things went wrong
Got to find a reason why my money's all gone --Sublime "What I Got" lyrics.

 

[Swedishguy]

Henchman: ...and they seem to have a lot of animals, boss. Maybe we ought to call Mr. Julius?
Whitey Hooten: Animals? Hah! That's a laugh. We'll beat them from one side of this iceberg to the other. And we'll enjoy it to boot. UNDERSTOOD?
Henchman: Yes boss.
Whitey Hooten: Tell the rest of those fools to be on the lookout.
Henchman: Yes boss.
Whitey Hooten: ..and get that generator fixed! And where is my bleedin' coffee?

EDIT: This is Whitey, by the way.


And this is Dr. Ganglion.

 

[Guangxi]

"Actually, I am from Voroshilovgrad myself, but i`ve become a sniper instead of a collective farmer."

...well, it does say random quotes.

 

[Catharsis]

I was quoted! I knew that secret network of webcams would pay dividends.

"Doric, ionic, it's all Greek to me."

EDIT: Here's Swedishguy's Algorithm. It can be used to solve any mathematical problem.

 

[PrinceOfLeigh]

"You can bet your life the Duke will be looking for a spot where the rays will cascade through the branches!" - David "The Duke" Dickinson

"I don't go to the gym or practice yoga. And the closest thing I have to a nutritionist is the Carlsberg Beer Company. I just have the appetite of a pigeon." - Colin Farrell

 

[Swedishguy]

:EDIT: Here's Swedishguy's Algorithm. It can be used to solve any mathematical problem.

I am honored!

 

[Ultima Dragoon]

Ultima Dragoon: why do your quotes link to Civ-related threads from 2002?

Yeep, they're from another forum. The link thing is pointing towards a thread on here that doesn't exist or is very old; so yeah, just ignore them, mkay?

@swedishguy: Know you just need to know if it's + or - x

 

[Swedishguy]

"Oh noes! Sweden is going to get a queen!"
-Random persian commenting The Swedish Monarchy

 

[kristopherb]

"OWNED"me to my maths teacher

 

[carmen510]

"The whole is better than the combination of it's parts"
"To serve and protect, to serve and protect, to serve and protect, to swerve and defect, aw.., to curve and perfect... Dammit I lost it."