Ask A Girl IV: Boundless Questions

[Boundless]

Somehow I find that women checking there phones constantly and paying attention to the phone than her date is kind of rude. Even if I had a phone with me, I'd only answer it for emergencies and I would not gab or text on the phone while on a date with a girl.

I'd never do it on a date, I can't bear that either! Not replying is not replying forever, I give you 10 hours before it becomes unreasonable in my mind...

 

[Abaddon]

One cannot eat a wok..

 

[Cheetah]

...tell them... (that's a big fat lie).
I find it really hard to deal with actually, mostly because I don't like to hurt people's feelings and most of time I want to be their friend or I wouldn't have got to know them in the first place. I just make a point of not being overly keen about contact, and not calling them names like 'darling', 'lovely' etc but I usually fail on all counts because I do that with all my friends anyway...
How would YOU want a girl to deal with it if they didn't like you but you liked them? I mean telling you is the obvious answer but it's never as simple as that is it, unless you put them in the situation where you say 'I like you' and they go... 'er... I don't'. In fact this happened really recently to me and the only way I could tell him was when he asked me for a drink but called it a date and I could then be like... I'll go for a drink with you but just as friends if that's alright...

See, I always avoid calling it a "date". It totally gives my hand away if she isn't interested yet. Better to give her time to like me more.

I can definitely see the problem of trying to turn someone down before he's even made it clear that he likes you. If he doesn't - or chooses to act as if he doesn't when you turn him down - he could, to try and save face, easily call you arrogant for believing that everyone would be attracted to you, etc.

But if a guy actually likes a girl, and she doesn't like him, the end result will still be the same. The choice is between telling him and letting him know where he stands, or letting it drag out and try to hint that you don't like him, which can definitely waste his time - especially since it can be hard for inexperienced guys to tell that apart from a girl acting coy.

I'll say that "real men" will be able to accept being turned down graciously however, though in most cases they will also be able to understand the hinting as well. "Nice guys" might be more upset, but I'd think the majority of guys will still take a turndown without acting out.

It is actually better to turn guys down right away, but that is confrontational, which many girls don't want to be. Easier then to just try to let the whole issue run out in the sand. But being upfront about it really is the best way.

Now let me turn the whole question back at you:

How would you prefer to be turned down by a guy, and does the answer change if we're talking turning down early, or turning you down if you want a relationship after having dated/had sex with a guy?

 

[Boundless]

See, I always avoid calling it a "date". It totally gives my hand away if she isn't interested yet. Better to give her time to like me more.

I can definitely see the problem of trying to turn someone down before he's even made it clear that he likes you. If he doesn't - or chooses to act as if he doesn't when you turn him down - he could, to try and save face, easily call you arrogant for believing that everyone would be attracted to you, etc.

But if a guy actually likes a girl, and she doesn't like him, the end result will still be the same. The choice is between telling him and letting him know where he stands, or letting it drag out and try to hint that you don't like him, which can definitely waste his time - especially since it can be hard for inexperienced guys to tell that apart from a girl acting coy.

I'll say that "real men" will be able to accept being turned down graciously however, though in most cases they will also be able to understand the hinting as well. "Nice guys" might be more upset, but I'd think the majority of guys will still take a turndown without acting out.

It is actually better to turn guys down right away, but that is confrontational, which many girls don't want to be. Easier then to just try to let the whole issue run out in the sand. But being upfront about it really is the best way.

Now let me turn the whole question back at you:

How would you prefer to be turned down by a guy, and does the answer change if we're talking turning down early, or turning you down if you want a relationship after having dated/had sex with a guy?

The answer definitely changes yes. I expect the person who's slept with me to at least have the decency to explain why. Lie if you like, but you don't sleep with me and not justify it, I don't sleep with someone if I don't like them.
As for turning me down early - I don't actually think I've ever been in that situation weirdly ... My housemates and I were having a conversation about how they never fancy a guy unless they have an indication the guy likes them too the other week (ridiculous idea I know), but I've always noticed a guy because they've paid attention to me, never the other way around. But if it were to happen, I suppose just tell me straight up you want to be friends, you don't have to tell me that you don't like me, just say you're not looking for anything right now (and right now means anything from a day to a year, lets be honest )

 

[Cheetah]

And er... I have, so I can't say no I wouldn't. And then he put us in a relationship on facebook without even asking it (he explained later that if he sleeps with someone he assumes he's in a relationship). It was all very awkward.

Haha. I've never had the awkwardness spill over on facebook!

That's an absolutely insane assumption on the guys part, btw. Unfortunately, it feels to me like a lot of girls, if not directly assuming it, really has a high hope that we can end up in a relationship.

Could be that I'm just naturally "boyfriend material" or something, but almost all the girls I've been with seems to really want to be my girlfriend. If it's before any sex has taken place then at least I'm able to answer that I'm not looking for a relationship right now, but if a girl brings it up afterwards I always feel really bad about turning them down.

Wok! I don't really like pizza all that much.

One cannot eat a wok..

Whatever. I had wok on Monday.

Homemade pizza it is!

 

[Abaddon]

Certainly most girls seem to want/expect a relationship once you've slept with them.. of course you must have been heading that way in order to actually sleep together (unless 1NS).. an that, kinda, "seals the deal!"

 

[Boundless]

Yes, but frankly, what on earth defines being in a relationship anyway? And before anyone says it, it's not a facebook status
I'm glad it appears I'm not like most girls... I'd never make any such assumption.
Also, what the heck is wok? I'm assuming stir fry yeah?

 

[Abaddon]

You both agreeing you are in one and happily telling the world (even difficult X's, parents etc)

 

[Mise]

Firstly, what a perfect analogy <3.
I always reply to text messages, I hate it when people don't, drives ms mad. So I set myself a principle of always doing so unless I have reason not to! And they're usually because it's a boy I don't like and they like me or someone I shouldn't be talking to or whatever...

Hmm, so either she isn't like you, or she doesn't like me. I hope she's not like you


QUESTION: How do you feel about body hair? Chest hair, back hair, pubic hair, belly hair, etc.

 

[Boundless]

QUESTION: How do you feel about body hair? Chest hair, back hair, pubic hair, belly hair, etc.

Minimal chest hair is nice. Not so much that you're covered, but enough to show you're a man.
Back hair - eugh - wax it off please.
Pubic hair - keep it tidy and everything will be fine. Don't and you're getting very little from me (I've had bad experience with this...*shudder*)
Belly hair - same as chest hair really!

How you YOU feel about body hair? I knew a girl who had the weirdest hairy tummy...very odd.

 

[Mise]

RELATED: How much does waxing hurt? As much as in "40 year old virgin" makes it look?

 

[Cheetah]

Certainly most girls seem to want/expect a relationship once you've slept with them.. of course you must have been heading that way in order to actually sleep together (unless 1NS).. an that, kinda, "seals the deal!"

"Seals the deal!"?? You're telling there is a rule for this?

I thought one of the points of feminism is that my feelings are equally valuable when it comes to what a 1NS, date or sex means??

Also, what the heck is wok? I'm assuming stir fry yeah?

A wok is a type of pan used to stir fry food that most people (I thought) just call "wok".

Minimal chest hair is nice. Not so much that you're covered, but enough to show you're a man.
Back hair - eugh - wax it off please.
Pubic hair - keep it tidy and everything will be fine. Don't and you're getting very little from me (I've had bad experience with this...*shudder*)
Belly hair - same as chest hair really!

You're saying that being natural down there is a deal breaker??

How you YOU feel about body hair? I knew a girl who had the weirdest hairy tummy...very odd.

As little as possible! Though pubic hair is acceptable of course. Hairy tummy sounds like a turn off...


Different question: Your thoughts on Berlusconi?

 

[Mise]

How you YOU feel about body hair? I knew a girl who had the weirdest hairy tummy...very odd.

Err I should probably have answered your question too! Yeah body hair happens, I don't mind it, but I'd rather it wasn't there. It's not a deal-breaker, but it is something that would give me pause.

 

[nato2101]

Different question: Your thoughts on Berlusconi?

I second that question. I know what Italian women think of him (pretty much split between him being Christ or the anti-Christ). What does a British woman think of Berlusconi?

 

[Boundless]

"Seals the deal!"?? You're telling there is a rule for this?

I thought one of the points of feminism is that my feelings are equally valuable when it comes to what a 1NS, date or sex means??

A wok is a type of pan used to stir fry food that most people (I thought) just call "wok".

You're saying that being natural down there is a deal breaker??

Different question: Your thoughts on Berlusconi?

It's not the deal breaker, I'm just saying my mouth is staying level with your face... take of that what you will!!!
What seals the deal? Sleeping with someone? What deal does it seal? I don't understand... explain Abaddon!
Berlusconi's bunga bunga parties look like a right laugh. Shame about the underage girls though... that's not so much of a laugh. To be honest I take little interest in him because the news just displays him as a pervy old man who shouldn't be running a country. And the Italians are so beautiful... it's a shame. Maybe he makes a mean Penne all'arrabbiata.
What are your thoughts on him?

RELATED: How much does waxing hurt? As much as in "40 year old virgin" makes it look?

Waxing doesn't hurt at all. I've had many parts of my body waxed, and honestly, it doesn't hurt at all. The only one that did was my underarms and that was only because she did it wrong and made me bleeeed. You should try it, it makes you super smooth! Mmmm!
Also, that movie is hilarious.

 

[Mise]

I might give waxing a go, but I have delicate skin, so......


Regarding pubic hair again, what about completely shaved? Good, bad or neutral?

For the record, the consensus in fiftychat is that "neatly trimmed" is the best way forward.

 

[nato2101]

Berlusconi's bunga bunga parties look like a right laugh. Shame about the underage girls though... that's not so much of a laugh.

Age of consent in Italy is 16, both girls with whom a relationship has been "proven" (Ruby & Noemi) were 17. Technically not under age, although a 73 year old sleeping with girls that young is very strange, but it would still be strange if they were 19, 18 and even early 20s.

 

[Boundless]

I might give waxing a go, but I have delicate skin, so......


Regarding pubic hair again, what about completely shaved? Good, bad or neutral?

For the record, the consensus in fiftychat is that "neatly trimmed" is the best way forward.

I have very sensitive skin too - just moisturise lots afterwards and don't go near any hot water for about 24 hours!
For men? Yes, neatly trimmed is a consensus I would agree with!

Edit: as for completely shaved, I am totally and utterly neutral. As much as some men may think it makes them look more well endowed, it doesn't. IMO.

 

[Cheetah]

It's not the deal breaker, I'm just saying my mouth is staying level with your face... take of that what you will!!!

I've never been given that ultimatum, but if that'd be a regular occurrence, then the hair goes!

I have my priorities, and the hair can always grow back.

What seals the deal? Sleeping with someone? What deal does it seal? I don't understand... explain Abaddon!

The deal of "we're actually in a relationship now", no?

Berlusconi's bunga bunga parties look like a right laugh. Shame about the underage girls though... that's not so much of a laugh. To be honest I take little interest in him because the news just displays him as a pervy old man who shouldn't be running a country. And the Italians are so beautiful... it's a shame. Maybe he makes a mean Penne all'arrabbiata.
What are your thoughts on him?

That he's a crazy clown, that I would not tolerate him as the leader of my country, and that I'm highly envious or certain parts of his life.

Though I had thought he was universally despised by women, but according to nato2101 and you I'm wrong on that.

 

[Holycannoli]

Waxing doesn't hurt at all. I've had many parts of my body waxed, and honestly, it doesn't hurt at all. The only one that did was my underarms and that was only because she did it wrong and made me bleeeed. You should try it, it makes you super smooth! Mmmm!
Also, that movie is hilarious.

I think you're the first woman I've heard say it doesn't hurt.

What do you think of a man who waxes? As in smooth chest, legs, and maybe even nether regions? I notice that only bodybuilder types tend to do it, never normal muscular types.