I think Caesar is important in all areas of life. For example, I Caesar oppurtunity, I takes it
(Warning: this post will contain more puns that may be damaging to health or faith in humanity. Continue at your own risk.)
If you think I feel bad about this in the slightest, by the way, you evidently haven't been reading this very closely
I declare on Alex in the same turn (you could say it's time to GREECE the wheels of my military machine).
I raze the Greek border city of Tzintzuntzen, the great general Ahuitzotl is born, and somewhere a spellchecker just died. The core Roman city of Neapolis falls soon after...
That's what they get for Roman too close to my borders.
In less puntastic news, this shows up next to Bulawayo...
And this, from the north...
Wow... they are STACKED
I mass a few infantry defenders in the city and hope for the best. The Roman stack suicides itself against the city but the massive Greek force follows up, leading to this...
He killed one of my Great Generals, too
fortunately I'm a warmongering Imperialistic civ so I probably have more Great Generals than ordinary soldiers, but the principle still stands. Alex shall pay for his insult.
Of course the Romans have pretty much exhausted their military, and Alex's monster stack is lying low, badly wounded, in Bulawayo. I, on the other hand, have another two stacks running around in their territory. My troops from the Greek campaign head north to relieve the city, casually capturing a Roman border fort on the way...
Do we want to keep it? Nu! (Hsung-Nu, that is.) My second stack razes Ulundi and kwaDukuza on the way past too. I catch a Greek invasion force out in the field...
Can we defeat it? You bet we CANNON
all that's left of that stack is a smoking hole in the ground (if only there was a plantation there, I could have made a pun about a crater bananas. Alas, twas not to be).
Methinks the Greek defenders are a mighty bit screwed...
For some reason Alex moved half of his garrison back into Greek territory. What a fail... or should that be fail-anx? (Answer: no.)
Now that Bulawayo has returned safely to my control, the advance can continue in earnest. I meet this stack from Alex, which retreats shortly after into Pharsalos..
I hit the city with cannon and infantry, and of course it is a resounding victory for...
Oh. Right. Alex has so much medieval junk that my small group of elite city raider infantry have to take an extra turn to attack again and actually take the city. Looks like I'll have to wait until next update to capture it. What a farce...alos (please kill me).