Annoying Occupation Titles

[amadeus]

Some people have really annoying names for their jobs...and I'm mad as hell and I'm not going to take it anymore!

For me?

Social chemist. Fancy name for BARTENDER. What's wrong with "bartender" anyhow? You tend bar, therefore, you're a bartender!

Social chemist? What are you going to do? Give me a beaker of beer?

 

[Toasty]

"Freelance Fashion Designer" for an unemployed blonde.

I just saw this on Romy & Michelle's High School Reunion the other night, which was a huge waste of 2 hrs of my time, but still, I couldn't think of anything better .

 

[amadeus]

What's the deal with "famous fashion designers" -- all they do is design clothes that NOBODY WEARS.

They remind me of that "Seinfeld" episode where Jerry meets the low-talker and unknowingly agrees to wear the puffy pirate shirt.

 

[omichyron]

"Athletics Director." This title is ridiculous for the guy who has it at my school. He runs everything from vocational education to security, and he acts as third in command behind the princepal and vice princepal.

 

[amadeus]

Physical education...the only things I learned there were:

1. I don't like running.
2. I don't like being hit in the crotch with a [insert sport] ball. (seen enough "America's Funniest Home Videos" to learn this)

 

[Furry Spatula]

Garbage men who go on strike and then say that they are "Waste Disposal Engineers"

 

[omichyron]

"Assistant Treasurer" is a supposed rank in the "student government" at my school. It is a job without any responsibilities, but it must look good on someone's resume....

 

[amadeus]

If they called themselves "sanitation workers" I wouldn't mind...but adding "engineer?" It's not like you're running a train or designing something.

Pick up the can, dump it in the back. Drive to next house. Repeat.

 

[amadeus]

Originally posted by omichyron
"Assistant Treasurer" is a supposed rank in the "student government" at my school. It is a job without any responsibilities, but it must look good on someone's resume....

Even being the full-blown treasurer doesn't have any responsibility at my school. The administration handles all of the money. And our "student council?" Why not just call it "the popularity contest that decides when the prom dance is?"

It's self-explanatory, then.

 

[omichyron]

Well, our Student Council can sometimes generate a hundred dollars, or so, if they organize a car wash or some other stupid fund raiser. The real Treasurer will control what they do with it, of course. Spending funds is too important a job to leave to the Assistant Treasurer....

 

[Bamspeedy]

I have a friend who is an 'environmental specialist'. He's a janitor at a hospital.

 

[starlifter]

Occupational Therapist. I still don't know what those are all about.

 

[Switch625]

Human Resource Specialist.

Whenever I hear that, I imagine that they are thinking of ways to exploit the mineral resources contained within the human body. All $0.95 worth (or however much we are actually worth).

 

[dannyevilcat]

Oh, oh! "Sandwich artists" at Subway. Whatever!

(P.S. A friend of mine worked at Subway, and that's the title he used on his resume after he quit.)

 

[ainwood]

Originally posted by starlifter
Occupational Therapist. I still don't know what those are all about.

I believe that they function to ensure that facilities are provided for people with disabilities to ensure that they can lead a "normal" life. Eg. ramps and handrails for people in wheelchairs etc.


This may sound elitist, but fancy job titles that include "engineer" in the title annoy me. My job title is "Senior Process Engineer". I have an honours degree in Chemical Engineering, which I believe sort-of entitles me to have "engineer" in my job title. Unlike "Sanitation Engineers", or "Sales Engineers".

I did read an article somewhere stating that more and more employers are giving employees different job titles in leu of a pay rise - and the employees are much happier

 

[Pongui]

Any title including the words "system" or "systems". Like the word "stuff", it is only used to indicate ignorance or intangibility, neither belonging to an occupational title, or anywhere else, outside of bad poetry.

 

[Rodgers]

I don't think it's a job title (yet) but I once saw an advert for some executive-type position which said "must have excellent rainmaking skills" Sadly, it wasn't anything to do with Red Indian magical rights


"I'm mad as hell and I'm not going to take it anymore!" - Network's a pretty funny film isn't RM? Saw it a few weeks ago

 

[Jimcat]

A sure sign that a company has too many layers of middle management: "Associate Executive Vice President"

 

[Jimcat]

Oh, and I used to be annoyed with secretaries being named "Executive Assistants", but having had a chance to see what they actually do, the title makes more sense. But if it were strictly honest, the title would be "Person who does all of the boss's actual work so that he can sit in meetings and ask for status reports all day."

 

[napoleon526]

Automotive Sales Representative, or car salesman.