The Beginning of the End (Turns 250 – 275)
High Stakes Diplomacy
I sat down with the Emperor of Poland to inform him of some horrible rumors I had heard regarding the Shoshone. Although it broke my heart to be the one to tell him, I felt an obligation as Emperor Casmir's friend to let him know that the President of the Shoshone had (possibly) been making unflattering comparisons between Casmir’s mother and an obese Carthaginian Forest Elephant. As Poland’s concerned friend, I vowed not to stand idly by in the face of such (alleged) insults. I promised to support Emperor Casmir with the gold per turn he needed to wage righteous war against the Shoshone. For Casmir’s mother.
I never thought that a little harmless war and genocide would hurt anyone, but I was wrong.
((
Disclosure: I have been bribing the AI nations to declare war against each other for most of the game with extremely favorable results. I am just documenting the one episode with slightly unfavorable consequences here because it makes for a better story)).
Unfortunately, I underestimated the popularity of Emperor Casmir’s mother with the other civilizations (“An
OBESE Carthaginian Forest Elephant?!! This time the Shoshone have gone too far!”
. Perhaps eight to ten nations denounced the Shoshone within the next few turns. Did I mention that in addition to being Poland’s friend, I was also friends with the Shoshone at the time? My previously loyal other friends began to look at me suspiciously because of that relationship.
Worse, the Shoshone had great influence at the World Council and successfully passed a resolution to embargo Poland (my most profitable trading partner). Without the trade routes to strengthen our friendship, the relationship with my powerful neighbor soured. I soon received reports that Casmir was plotting against me. Meanwhile, the other nation that shares my borders (the Iroquois People’s Republic) grew jealous of my superior autocratic ideology and refused to renew our declaration of friendship. I began to hear rumors that that the Iroquois were plotting against me as well.
I realized that inciting war had possibly put my people in a very precarious situation, so I did what any reasonable leader would do: I refused to admit that I had been wrong and tried to prove it by inciting another war. And then another war. And another one, until most of the continent was at war with itself and I was spending so much money on bribes that my gold per turn had fallen into the double-digits. The price was high, but the results were worth it. To make a long story short, all of my potential diplomacy and national security problems are now completely resolved.
The Wonders of Venice
Meanwhile, a mysterious man came riding into town on a solitary horse. He wore a Six-Shooter™ brand graphing calculator on his belt, a wide-brimmed hat on his head, and a look of steely determination on his face. I never learned his name and he never volunteered it. The locals just called him “Great Engineer” (Great Engineer was literally his name - I assume this occurred because all of the actual Great Engineer names had already been used up by other civilizations).
Some say that Great Engineer wandered the world to forget a tragic love affair with a beautiful space telescope scientist; others say that he was pursuing revenge on those responsible for a highly improbable luxury-resort-and-space-telescope accident that killed his family. All I know is what he built for Venice before riding off into the sunset: a fabulously high tech luxury resort with facilities capable of launching thrill-seeking tourists into orbit. I would later enhance these facilities to launch spaceship parts and even a space telescope into orbit as well. (in other words, I constructed Prora and the Hubble Space Telescope with a Great Engineer. Technically it was two Great Engineers, but both engineers were obviously the same person because they had the same name, “Great Engineer”
.
Two turns later, I completed the construction of a new financial district that allows me to invest my financial resources 15% more efficiently. The district’s large central clock tower has come to symbolize both the district and Venetian finance as a whole. I decided to name the clock tower “Big Ben,” after Emperor Casmir’s mother.
The End Is Near
I have been saving the best news for last:
I have researched every technology necessary to complete all six spaceship components(!!!!!). I wish I could tell you that I executed some brilliant strategy after my last post, but I really can’t. Fifteen research agreements, two great scientists and one porcelain tower in middle of a Scientific Revolution (Rationalism Policy) were all I needed to skyrocket through the Information Age almost as soon as it had begun. Victory is within my grasp.
Yet I am also on the cusp of defeat. I have every technology I need, but as Venice I am limited to building one spaceship component at a time. I have only competed one of the six required spaceship components so far, although I should complete the second component next turn. The remaining four components will require approximately twenty more turns to complete. By contrast, Emperor-Pharaoh Ramses has already built three components because Egypt’s multiple cities can build multiple components at the same time. Ramses is still several technologies behind me, however, so all is not lost.
I have done what I can. At great expense, I have bribed Indonesia to declare war on Ramses in order to slow him down. I have purchased Uranium from Assyria, rushed a nuclear plant in Venice, reassigned all possible trade routes to increase Venice’s production, and ordered all specialists to work in the mines and lumber mills except for engineers and artists (I’m only a few turns from a Great Artist, which will be used for a Golden Age). I even borrowed money to assemble a strike force with the intention of launching a desperate assault against Egypt’s capital, but I was forced to abandon the idea due to various practical considerations.
So it all comes down to this. My engineers race to complete the remaining four spaceship components before Egypt’s scientists succeed in duplicating my technological discoveries and usurping my victory. I would be lying if I said the situation wasn’t extremely tense, but this is also the most fun I’ve had playing Civilization V in a long time.
