Rex rgis of Ter
Me I'm a Creator
The Boston and New York comment was funny, but I am sincerly sick of anti- Bush threads. Anway, it's fairly comical.
Dubya's Quest
- Thread starter Dumdumdumdum
- Start date
Patricman
Hepatologist/liver doctor
Happy thanksgiving Dubya! and I am too getting really pissed with Anti-bush threads
Dumdumdumdum
Chieftain
Chapter 7: The enemy emerges
Riiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnngggggggggg!
Dubya: Oh look! Phone call!
Saladin: Hello, I am Saladin of the Iraq... um Afgan... um... Arab empire. Surely you do not want to go to war with me eh?
Dubya: Why would I want to go to war with you? You have a funny hat! Let their be peace!
Saladin: Pheww... well then may you be blessed with an empire only slightly less glorious than mine!
-Click-
Dick: Dubya, you do know that guy is the founder of the evil and radical Hindu Faith?
Dubya: Huh?
Dick: Long story short, we must make our empire slightly more glorious than his, then kick his ass once we have the chance!
Dubya: Horray, Eventual war! Condoleezza, ensure that our empire is more glorious than his. NOW!
Dubya: Well that is glorious... BUT WE NEED MORE GLORY! I will not lose to a terrorist in a glory contest.
Condoleezza: Well there is more.
Dubya: Ohh... pretty triangles...
Condoleezza: Actually they are pyramids...
Dubya: Ahh Geometery lesson! MY HEAD HURTS! MAKE IT STOP!
Condoleezza:
Dubya: Horray! Another glorious building! In your face Saladin!
Condoleezza: This one is called the Oracle. The Preistest inside can tell the future!
Dubya: Oh! Oh! Let me try first! -Runs inside-
Oh great Oracle, what will be the result of the inevitable war with the guy with the funny hat?
Priestess: The war you speak of will drag on for centuries. Millions will die on both sides. Your entire reign over America will be known as the nations biggest disaster.
Condoleezza:
Dick:
Dubya:
Riiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnngggggggggg!
Dubya: Oh look! Phone call!
Saladin: Hello, I am Saladin of the Iraq... um Afgan... um... Arab empire. Surely you do not want to go to war with me eh?
Dubya: Why would I want to go to war with you? You have a funny hat! Let their be peace!
Saladin: Pheww... well then may you be blessed with an empire only slightly less glorious than mine!
-Click-
Dick: Dubya, you do know that guy is the founder of the evil and radical Hindu Faith?
Dubya: Huh?
Dick: Long story short, we must make our empire slightly more glorious than his, then kick his ass once we have the chance!
Dubya: Horray, Eventual war! Condoleezza, ensure that our empire is more glorious than his. NOW!
Dubya: Well that is glorious... BUT WE NEED MORE GLORY! I will not lose to a terrorist in a glory contest.
Condoleezza: Well there is more.
Dubya: Ohh... pretty triangles...
Condoleezza: Actually they are pyramids...
Dubya: Ahh Geometery lesson! MY HEAD HURTS! MAKE IT STOP!
Condoleezza:
Dubya: Horray! Another glorious building! In your face Saladin!
Condoleezza: This one is called the Oracle. The Preistest inside can tell the future!
Dubya: Oh! Oh! Let me try first! -Runs inside-
Oh great Oracle, what will be the result of the inevitable war with the guy with the funny hat?
Priestess: The war you speak of will drag on for centuries. Millions will die on both sides. Your entire reign over America will be known as the nations biggest disaster.
Condoleezza:
Dick:
Dubya:
Dumdumdumdum
Chieftain
I won't be home this weekend. If I can't find Wifi on the road, You won't see more WQ till Sunday or Monday.
wilboman
Hibernorse Frost Giant
Aaaaaaaw. I'm really enjoying this.
Dumdumdumdum
Chieftain
I'm back. Expect more WQ tomorrow.
Dumdumdumdum
Chieftain
Chapter 8: Another Warmongering Nutcase
Condoleezza: Dubya, we have discovered two new civilizations. First is Pericles of greece. He wears a mask so funny that it scares away the screenshot gods.
Dubya: What is the other civilization? Is it candyland? Please say it is candyland!
Condoleezza: No, its the Aztec empire. They are lead by the warmongering Montezuma. He is a ruthless and terrible leader. We learned of his lands by trading maps with Pericles, but we haven't met him yet.
Dubya: Montezuma sounds like a great person. We need to meet him. mabey I can invite him over for a nice meal of widow tears and orphan hearts.
Condoleezza: Judging by what I hear he wears on his head, he'd like the idea.
Dubya: Whats this building?
Dick: Its the Church of the Nativity. It spreads Christianity, and allows our great nation to profit off it.
Dubya: Money, and a chance to spread the faith to the unclean and stupid heathens of the world? Count me in!
Dick:
Rrrrrriiiiiinnnnnggggg
Dubya: Welcome to America, Land of the Semi Free, and home of the non-terrorists. This is the almighty Lord Dubya speaking. How may I ruin your nation today.
Montezuma: Hello, my name is Montezuma. I have heard much about you, most honorable Dubya. I will sacrifice 50000 warriors in honor of our new found friendship.
Dubya: Wow... 50000 warriors. I never believed in kindred spirits... until now.
Condoleezza: Dubya, we have discovered two new civilizations. First is Pericles of greece. He wears a mask so funny that it scares away the screenshot gods.
Dubya: What is the other civilization? Is it candyland? Please say it is candyland!
Condoleezza: No, its the Aztec empire. They are lead by the warmongering Montezuma. He is a ruthless and terrible leader. We learned of his lands by trading maps with Pericles, but we haven't met him yet.
Dubya: Montezuma sounds like a great person. We need to meet him. mabey I can invite him over for a nice meal of widow tears and orphan hearts.
Condoleezza: Judging by what I hear he wears on his head, he'd like the idea.
Dubya: Whats this building?
Dick: Its the Church of the Nativity. It spreads Christianity, and allows our great nation to profit off it.
Dubya: Money, and a chance to spread the faith to the unclean and stupid heathens of the world? Count me in!
Dick:
Rrrrrriiiiiinnnnnggggg
Dubya: Welcome to America, Land of the Semi Free, and home of the non-terrorists. This is the almighty Lord Dubya speaking. How may I ruin your nation today.
Montezuma: Hello, my name is Montezuma. I have heard much about you, most honorable Dubya. I will sacrifice 50000 warriors in honor of our new found friendship.
Dubya: Wow... 50000 warriors. I never believed in kindred spirits... until now.
necrosmith
Warlord
- Joined
- Dec 6, 2003
- Messages
- 167
This is actually pretty cute.
It would be even better if you could size down the pictures to fit on the page without us having to scroll over. About half size would be great.
PS - to those of you sick of anti-Bush threads, don't read em.
It would be even better if you could size down the pictures to fit on the page without us having to scroll over. About half size would be great.
PS - to those of you sick of anti-Bush threads, don't read em.
Patricman
Hepatologist/liver doctor
So I take it your an anti-Bush kind of guy? Great story by the way!!
Dumdumdumdum
Chieftain
Chapter 9: Let the games begin
Rrrriiiiiiiingggg
Dubya: Hello, you have reached America. Please leave your message at the sound of me attacking your puny nation.
Montezuma: Dubya, we have a problem.
Dubya: Whats with the straight face Monty?
Montezuma: I have come to the relization that we both follow deferent religions. We may not be friends after all.
Dubya: But your such a wonderfuly person, Montezuma. Surely there is something we can do to bring our people closer together?
Dick: Allow me to make a suggestion. Mutual Military Struggles tend to bring people from diferent nations together regardless of race or religion. Dubya, all you and Monty need is a mutual military struggle, then my relationship with the arms dealers... I mean your relationship with the Aztec people will be just fine.
Dubya: Huh... you sure can use lots of big words Dick...
Dick:
... What I'm saying is that both you and Montezuma should declare war on somebody else.
Montyzuma: How about we declare war on those annoying Arabic Hindu Terrorists and their evil leader Saladin.
Dubya: I knew we were kindred spirits.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Rrrrrriiiiiinnnnggggg
Saladin: Hello, this is Saladin of Arabia. How may I be of assistance to your slightly less glorious empire?
Condoleezza: You can be of assistance by unwillingly handing over your cities to America.
Saladin: Dose this mean war?
Condoleezza: Yes it dose.
Saladin: THAT COWARD!
He can't even call me and declare war himself like a man. He has his advisors do it for him.
Condoleezza: Don't call him a coward. I insisted that I make this call. If Dubya called you himself, you might not be able to figure out if he is declaring war or selling girl scout cookies. This message is too important for you to misinterpret.
Saladin: Oh, okay, I understand. NOW PREPARE TO DIE!
Condoleezza: Good news Dubya sir. We just founded Chicago.
Dubya: What dose that have to do with kicking Arab butt?
Condoleezza: Nothing actually, but we still have 5 turns left till we invent gunpowder. We will let Monty do all the fighting until we can muster a large force of muskets.
Dubya: Well, at least now I'll be able to execute Saladin in a painful fashion after the war.
Condoleezza: Sorry Dubya, Dick already has his hunting schedule booked for the next severall centuries. We will just have to use a traditional firing squad.
Dubya:
Montezuma: Dubya, can you give us the Technology of Polythesism?
Dick: What dose worshiping more than one god have to do with fighting a war against Arabia?
Montezuma: Ummm.... Uhhh.... er.... I'll be your best friend.
Dick: But what will we get in return?
Montezuma: I'll continue to tolerate you despite the fact you worship a heathen religion, I'll also give Dubya a headress with a skull like the one I wear!
Dick: I don't think this is such-
Dubya: Skull Headress? SOLD!
Montezuma:
Dick:
Rrrriiiiiiiingggg
Dubya: Hello, you have reached America. Please leave your message at the sound of me attacking your puny nation.
Montezuma: Dubya, we have a problem.
Dubya: Whats with the straight face Monty?
Montezuma: I have come to the relization that we both follow deferent religions. We may not be friends after all.
Dubya: But your such a wonderfuly person, Montezuma. Surely there is something we can do to bring our people closer together?
Dick: Allow me to make a suggestion. Mutual Military Struggles tend to bring people from diferent nations together regardless of race or religion. Dubya, all you and Monty need is a mutual military struggle, then my relationship with the arms dealers... I mean your relationship with the Aztec people will be just fine.
Dubya: Huh... you sure can use lots of big words Dick...
Dick:
... What I'm saying is that both you and Montezuma should declare war on somebody else.Montyzuma: How about we declare war on those annoying Arabic Hindu Terrorists and their evil leader Saladin.
Dubya: I knew we were kindred spirits.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Rrrrrriiiiiinnnnggggg
Saladin: Hello, this is Saladin of Arabia. How may I be of assistance to your slightly less glorious empire?
Condoleezza: You can be of assistance by unwillingly handing over your cities to America.
Saladin: Dose this mean war?
Condoleezza: Yes it dose.
Saladin: THAT COWARD!
He can't even call me and declare war himself like a man. He has his advisors do it for him.Condoleezza: Don't call him a coward. I insisted that I make this call. If Dubya called you himself, you might not be able to figure out if he is declaring war or selling girl scout cookies. This message is too important for you to misinterpret.
Saladin: Oh, okay, I understand. NOW PREPARE TO DIE!
Condoleezza: Good news Dubya sir. We just founded Chicago.
Dubya: What dose that have to do with kicking Arab butt?
Condoleezza: Nothing actually, but we still have 5 turns left till we invent gunpowder. We will let Monty do all the fighting until we can muster a large force of muskets.
Dubya: Well, at least now I'll be able to execute Saladin in a painful fashion after the war.
Condoleezza: Sorry Dubya, Dick already has his hunting schedule booked for the next severall centuries. We will just have to use a traditional firing squad.
Dubya:
Montezuma: Dubya, can you give us the Technology of Polythesism?
Dick: What dose worshiping more than one god have to do with fighting a war against Arabia?
Montezuma: Ummm.... Uhhh.... er.... I'll be your best friend.
Dick: But what will we get in return?
Montezuma: I'll continue to tolerate you despite the fact you worship a heathen religion, I'll also give Dubya a headress with a skull like the one I wear!
Dick: I don't think this is such-
Dubya: Skull Headress? SOLD!
Montezuma:
Dick:
BeyondCivilized
Warlord
Condi, reasonable? Please...
It's time for a new Middle East? The Middle East is going to remain what it always have been. A hellhole for invaders, that includes people who claim they have existed here 2 zillion years ago.
Oh how I wish an Israeli Missile exploded in that fugly thing between her shoulders when she came here during the war. It would have been the most delicious irony to end all delicious ironies.
And don't get me started on that ****tard Dick Cheny. Also what is with those Anti-anti Bush posts, is this the new trend? Bush is an epic failure and so is the Annapolis Slumber Party. I expect Abbas and Olmert to be assassinated by their own people over the course of the next year, and the beginning of the next Intifada in 2009. And don't you say Lebanon has nothing to do with this. Lebanon was destroyed because of this "New Middle East" plan. And since Hezbollah won the war, Lebanon is now in a political limbo.
It's time for a new Middle East? The Middle East is going to remain what it always have been. A hellhole for invaders, that includes people who claim they have existed here 2 zillion years ago.
Oh how I wish an Israeli Missile exploded in that fugly thing between her shoulders when she came here during the war. It would have been the most delicious irony to end all delicious ironies.
And don't get me started on that ****tard Dick Cheny. Also what is with those Anti-anti Bush posts, is this the new trend? Bush is an epic failure and so is the Annapolis Slumber Party. I expect Abbas and Olmert to be assassinated by their own people over the course of the next year, and the beginning of the next Intifada in 2009. And don't you say Lebanon has nothing to do with this. Lebanon was destroyed because of this "New Middle East" plan. And since Hezbollah won the war, Lebanon is now in a political limbo.
Dumdumdumdum
Chieftain
Chapter 10: Procrastination
Dick: Dubya, we got gunpowder! WE GOT GUNPOWDER!
Dubya: This calls for a celabration! *Whips out Musket. Begins to shoot dartboards with pictures of Al Gore*
Dubya: Why did we build another wonder? I THOUGHT WE WERE MAKING WEAPONS!
Condoleezza: ...It was an impulse build, besides we had a great engineer.
Dubya: I'll let it slide this time, but don't let it happen again!
Condoleezza: fine...
Dubya: DICK, call your weapons contractor friends. We have a war to win.
Condoleezza: Before you go nuts, let me explain. This Wonder allows the Jewish people to do what they do best. Make loads of money. They are even offering us a cut as long as we don't persecute them. More money means we can souport more troops.
Dubya: Good job. We could always use extra cash. NOW CAN WE BUILD MILITARY UNITS?
Dick: I'm already on that. Soon their cities will belong to us.
Dubya:
Dick: Dubya, we got gunpowder! WE GOT GUNPOWDER!
Dubya: This calls for a celabration! *Whips out Musket. Begins to shoot dartboards with pictures of Al Gore*
Dubya: Why did we build another wonder? I THOUGHT WE WERE MAKING WEAPONS!
Condoleezza: ...It was an impulse build, besides we had a great engineer.
Dubya: I'll let it slide this time, but don't let it happen again!
Condoleezza: fine...
Dubya: DICK, call your weapons contractor friends. We have a war to win.
Condoleezza: Before you go nuts, let me explain. This Wonder allows the Jewish people to do what they do best. Make loads of money. They are even offering us a cut as long as we don't persecute them. More money means we can souport more troops.
Dubya: Good job. We could always use extra cash. NOW CAN WE BUILD MILITARY UNITS?
Dick: I'm already on that. Soon their cities will belong to us.
Dubya:
RockTheCazbah87
Pacal's pal
Great story.
If you don't like an anti-Bush thread, don't read the anti-Bush thread. It's as simple as that.
Dumdumdumdum
Chieftain
Over 1000 views of DQ. Hopefully that means I'll be on the Index soon.
Dumdumdumdum
Chieftain
Sorry for the unannounced Haitius... but WQ is back, at least until my connection dies again.
Chapter 11: The Tension Builds.
Sid: Dubya!
Dubya: Who's is there?
Sid: Its me Dubya, Sid. I have come to check on you. How is your civilization doing?
Dubya: Very good. I just declared war on Arabia. We are gonna kick their asses.
Sid: Why did you do that?
Dubya: Monty told me to.
Sid: You listened to Monty? But he's an untrustworthy warmonger. You'll regret it!
Dubya: No I wont. Monty has a cool hat. That means I can trust him.
Sid: Well, I came here to offer you help. But you are obiously too dumb to deserve it.
Dubya: Please give me free stuff. PLEASE!!!!!
Sid: Fine. show you are smart enough to win a war. Build a decent stack of Musketmen, and then we will talk.
Dubya: Ummm... Mr. Sid? May I ask a question
Sid: Musketmen are the guys in brown jackets that carry pointy sticks.
Dubya: Thanks.
Condoleezza: Dubya, we have founded another religion. Islam.
Dubya: Huh? Isn't that the evil religion that I wish to destroy?
Condoleezza: In this world, you are after the hidious Hindu's. We will spread this religion throughout our cities, and eventualy build a shrine to profit from it.
Dubya:
Condoleezza: If you let it stay, I'll get you an awsome headress from one of the temples!
Dubya:
Dubya: I THOUGHT I SAID NO MORE WONDERS!
Condoleezza: But this one is awsome. The Apostolic Palace is like a secrete clubhouse for Christians only. We can use it to force others to Embargo our foes.
Dubya: Trade Sanctions are fun! Very well, carry on.
http://forums.civfanatics.com/uploads/130693/Civ4ScreenShot0046.JPG
Dick: Dubya, I have good news and bad news.
Dubya: Whats up?
Dick: The good news is that we launched our warstack. It is charging for the Arabian city of Baghdad. The bad news is that Saladin has also launched a war stack. It is headed for Philly. Although it is small, Philly is only defended by a single non-gunpowder based unit. Unless we bolster our defenses, the city will fall quickly. I sugest pulling our stack to defened the city.
Dubya: NO! We will fight them abroad so we don't have to fight them at home. Continue pushing for Baghdad. I have a plan to defend Philly.
Dick: ...Uh oh...
Chapter 11: The Tension Builds.
Sid: Dubya!
Dubya: Who's is there?
Sid: Its me Dubya, Sid. I have come to check on you. How is your civilization doing?
Dubya: Very good. I just declared war on Arabia. We are gonna kick their asses.
Sid:
Why did you do that?Dubya: Monty told me to.
Sid: You listened to Monty? But he's an untrustworthy warmonger. You'll regret it!
Dubya: No I wont. Monty has a cool hat. That means I can trust him.
Sid: Well, I came here to offer you help. But you are obiously too dumb to deserve it.
Dubya: Please give me free stuff. PLEASE!!!!!
Sid: Fine. show you are smart enough to win a war. Build a decent stack of Musketmen, and then we will talk.
Dubya: Ummm... Mr. Sid? May I ask a question
Sid:
Musketmen are the guys in brown jackets that carry pointy sticks. Dubya: Thanks.
Condoleezza: Dubya, we have founded another religion. Islam.
Dubya: Huh? Isn't that the evil religion that I wish to destroy?
Condoleezza: In this world, you are after the hidious Hindu's. We will spread this religion throughout our cities, and eventualy build a shrine to profit from it.
Dubya:
Condoleezza: If you let it stay, I'll get you an awsome headress from one of the temples!
Dubya:
Dubya: I THOUGHT I SAID NO MORE WONDERS!
Condoleezza: But this one is awsome. The Apostolic Palace is like a secrete clubhouse for Christians only. We can use it to force others to Embargo our foes.
Dubya: Trade Sanctions are fun! Very well, carry on.
http://forums.civfanatics.com/uploads/130693/Civ4ScreenShot0046.JPG
Dick: Dubya, I have good news and bad news.
Dubya: Whats up?
Dick: The good news is that we launched our warstack. It is charging for the Arabian city of Baghdad. The bad news is that Saladin has also launched a war stack. It is headed for Philly. Although it is small, Philly is only defended by a single non-gunpowder based unit. Unless we bolster our defenses, the city will fall quickly. I sugest pulling our stack to defened the city.
Dubya: NO! We will fight them abroad so we don't have to fight them at home. Continue pushing for Baghdad. I have a plan to defend Philly.
Dick: ...Uh oh...
Patricman
Hepatologist/liver doctor
Could you show us a map of Saladins territories? It would help us give you hints. THanks!
Dumdumdumdum
Chieftain
I've already played up through the whole war with Saladin. I honestly havn't touched the game in quite awhile. I'm waiting for the story to catch up. If you want I could post an early spoiler free gamesave.
Dumdumdumdum
Chieftain
Chapter 12: Bloodshed
Dubya: People of America. Our homes are under attack by the vile terrorist known as Saladin. He wants to burn our homes and slaughter our livestock. My Fellow Republicans, he wants to revoke your right to bear arms!
Crowd: Deliver us from evil, oh great and mighty Dubya.
Dubya: Fear not, my minions, for I have a plan. I shall evoke a cherished American tradition known as slavery. How dose this slavery work, you might ask? Its quite simple really. I will round up every liberal in the country, and sell them to Dick's friends in the weapons manufacturing industry. The industry will contract them back out to us, and the government will sacrifice their souls to the devil in exchange for demonic warriors.
Crowd: Huh?
Dubya: Long story short, this new system will save us all, GOD BLESS AMERICA!
Crowd: Hurray!
Dubya: Arrrghhhh!
Condoleezza: Whats wrong?
Dubya: Li...li...LIBRARY! MY BRAIN... IT BURNS!
Condoleezza: Chill out Dubya. its not threat its just the gr...
Dubya: Waaaaaaaa!
*runs off*
Dick: See Condoleezza, told ya he'd freak out over the great library. Now you owe me $5
Condoleezza:
Dubya: Why did we build Seattle right by those terrorist cities?
Condoleezza: Don't worry Dubya, our great wall keeps them out! It will be a great...
Dick: Sorry to interrupt, the battle for Baghdad is beginning right now! Lets watch.
.....
Dubya: Sweet. They are down to their last man.
Dick: Com'on!
Condoleezza: ...
Dubya: YES! PUT IT HERE DICK!
Condoleezza: Whooooooo!!!
Dubya: People of America. Our homes are under attack by the vile terrorist known as Saladin. He wants to burn our homes and slaughter our livestock. My Fellow Republicans, he wants to revoke your right to bear arms!
Crowd: Deliver us from evil, oh great and mighty Dubya.
Dubya: Fear not, my minions, for I have a plan. I shall evoke a cherished American tradition known as slavery. How dose this slavery work, you might ask? Its quite simple really. I will round up every liberal in the country, and sell them to Dick's friends in the weapons manufacturing industry. The industry will contract them back out to us, and the government will sacrifice their souls to the devil in exchange for demonic warriors.
Crowd: Huh?
Dubya: Long story short, this new system will save us all, GOD BLESS AMERICA!
Crowd: Hurray!
Dubya: Arrrghhhh!
Condoleezza: Whats wrong?
Dubya: Li...li...LIBRARY! MY BRAIN... IT BURNS!
Condoleezza: Chill out Dubya. its not threat its just the gr...
Dubya: Waaaaaaaa!
*runs off*
Dick: See Condoleezza, told ya he'd freak out over the great library. Now you owe me $5
Condoleezza:
Dubya: Why did we build Seattle right by those terrorist cities?
Condoleezza: Don't worry Dubya, our great wall keeps them out! It will be a great...
Dick: Sorry to interrupt, the battle for Baghdad is beginning right now! Lets watch.
.....
Dubya: Sweet. They are down to their last man.
Dick: Com'on!
Condoleezza: ...
Dubya: YES! PUT IT HERE DICK!
Condoleezza: Whooooooo!!!
