* If it is all the same to you I won't be coming in to work. The voices told me to clean all the guns today.
* When I got up this morning I took two Ex-Lax in addition to my Prozac. I can't get off the john, but I feel good about it.
* I just found out that I was switched at birth. Legally, I shouldn't come to work knowing my employee records may now contain false information.