Funny joke

[IceBlaZe]

Got those on e-mail:

A city boy, Kenny, moved to the country and bought a donkey from a farmer for $100. The farmer agreed to deliver the donkey the next day.

The next day the farmer drove up. He said,"Sorry, son, but I have some bad news. The donkey died."

Kenny: "Well, then give me my money back."
Farmer: "Can't do that. I spent it already."

Kenny: "Ok, then at least give me the donkey."
Farmer: "What you donna do with it?"
Kenny: "I'm going to raffle it off."

Farmer: "You can't raffle off a dead donkey!"
Kenny: "Sure I can..I won't tell anybody that it's dead."

A month later the farmer met Kenny and asked him, "What happened with that dead donkey?"
Kenny: "I raffled it off. I sold 500 tickets at $2 each and made a profit of $898."

Farmer: "Didn't anyone complain?"
Kenny: "Only the guy who won. So I gave him his $2 back."

Kenny grew up and became the chairman of Enron

An Engineer is stranded on a desert island all alone for ten years. One day
he sees a speck on the horizon. He thinks to himself, "It's not a ship."

The speck gets a little closer and he thinks, "It's not a boat."

The speck gets even closer and he thinks, "It's not a raft."

Then, out of the surf comes this gorgeous blonde woman wearing a wet suit
and scuba gear. She comes up to the guy and she says, "How long has it been
since you've had a cigarette?" "Ten years!", he says.

She reaches over, unzips this waterproof pocket on her left sleeve and
>pulls
out a pack of fresh cigarettes. He takes one, lights it, takes a long drag
and says, "Man, oh man! Is that good!"

Then she asked, "How long has it been since you've had a drink of whiskey?"
He replies, "Ten years!" She reaches over, unzips her waterproof pocket on
the right, pulls out a flask and gives it to him. He takes a long swig and
says, "Wow! That's fantastic!"

Then she starts unzipping this long zipper that runs down the front of her
wet suit and she says to him, "And how long has it been since you've had
some REAL fun?"

And the Engineer replies, "My God! Don't tell me you've got a computer in
there?"

 

[Dell19]

Well the first one has already been posted but the second one was funny, but not laugh out loud funny.

 

[Chris85]

There both funny jokes, but I've already heard of both of them.

 

[Jason Fox]

I'd actually heard the second with a different ending (only slightly different) and the guy wasn't an engineer.

She gives him and cigarette and whiskey then starts to unzip the front zipper and asks "How long has it been since you've played around?"

To which he replies "Don't even tell me you've got golf clubs in there."